Please reassure me . . .

[oceanbaby]

That my almost 3yo will still love me if I go away for 3 days!

I think I'm taking the much talked about trip to NYC in June. I'll be leaving Fri morning and back Monday night. I've never been away from ds2 overnight before. I am going to stay away one night before I leave just so he can learn that I come back even when I'm gone overnight. But it's still breaking my heart.

He doesn't nurse at night, but he does consistently wake up around 1am and come snuggle into bed with me. He has pretty much completely rejected dh as a source of nighttime comfort, although they are very close otherwise.

Pleaes tell me he'll still love me and won't be completely traumatized!

[mtiger]

He'll be fine. And may even come to see Dad as a good alternate caregiver!

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OMG! You are not going to have much fun, for all the worrying.

First, he will be fine. I promise.

Second, this will be good for DH, as it will bring them even closer. It will be good for DS because he will see how capable Daddy is, I bet they have a blast together.

Bring ds a cool New York thingy.

I bet you will even be a little dissapointed in how well they do together. (Daddy will be tired though) Call them right away, and you will feel better. Then call them in the morning, and he will say "it was fine, he slept great". That way, you can relax and enjoy your time a little more.

It's always hard to be away from our kids. But, it is usually harder on us than them. My kid is 14 and I still miss her when I leave her for a few days. it takes a lot of getting used to.

[dubfam]

It will be better than you think. Of course he will still love you!! It sounds like he can't get enough of his Mama!

Maybe he and DH will be able to work something out and you will no longer be the only source of 1 AM comfort.

The main thing that makes me say he will be fine is that you are obviously concerned and taking his feeling into account. As long as you prepare him for it I'll bet he will do great!

When I was 4 my parents went on vacation for a week and left me with family friends. My Mom bought a bunch of little gifts for me, (like gum or stickers) one for each day, and made a little note for me for each day. I got to open one each morning while she was gone, and it really helped me handle here absence better. I was used to always having her in the morning.
Maybe you and DH could plan something similar, so that instead of just your voice over the phone he has something from Mom that he can see, hold and touch. It will help him know that you are still thinking about him a lot, even though you aren't home. It could be a tiny stuffed animal, one for each night you are gone. Or a new book. If he opened it shortly before bed it might really help him when he wakes up and you aren't home.

Good luck Mama and enjoy your trip. You deserve it!!!!

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Originally Posted by dubfam

My Mom bought a bunch of little gifts for me, (like gum or stickers) one for each day, and made a little note for me for each day. I got to open one each morning while she was gone, and it really helped me handle here absence better.

It could be a tiny stuffed animal, one for each night you are gone. Or a new book. If he opened it shortly before bed it might really help him when he wakes up and you aren't home.

I love the book idea! One book for each night, or a book, a lovie, or something that he will love to have just before bed.

[Jster]

I'm SURE he will still love you and appreciate you even more (and also will grow in his relationship with his dad!) My dc have been gone for visits with their dad, starting with one overnight when dd2 was not quite 2 (YIKES!) and they've been great! Both are always really lovey-dovey when they come back...and then a day or two later have a bit of an adjustment. But of course he'll still love you!

Phone calls are good...I try to call every day, or now that they're gone longer and a little older, every other day to talk to the dc. It's almost harder on me I think!

[Ducks]

OK - so I have a slightly different experience, and it may be because I took dd2 with me and left dd1 at home. Dd1 (aged 2y9m at the time) and dh had a great time for the 2 days we were gone. BUT, when we arrived back, she wouldn't talk to me for a couple of hours. I did talk to her on the phone when I was gone. She warmed up when I gave her a gift, and then cried in my arms for about 30 minutes. My mother believes its because I took the baby with me. FWIW, she was fine after the little cry and lots of hugs....

[MomInCalifornia]

You will all be fine! You will come home a more relaxed and energized mom, and you sons will have a great weekend with dad!

My 2 1/2 year old did great when I went away for the weekend...he had a blast with dad and his big sister, and he had no issues going right back to nursing when I got home.

I suspect you will all do great! Have a wonderful time!

[lilyka]

he will be just fine. My kids have never even noticed I was gone. And i left one for a week while she was still nursing (she was two). what ever. mom who? didn't even miss me. i got over the pain eventually

[oceanbaby]

Thank you all so much for the reassurance. I am so excited about the trip, but then every once in awhile I panic at the thought of leaving my youngest.

[marybethorama]

He'll be fine.

Have a good trip.

[Tigerchild]

Hey there,

I went away for a women's retreat at my church the first weekend in May. That was the first time I'd been away from my children for longer than 6 hours or so. I hadn't even been away from DH for longer than 48 hours since we've been married.

I had a good time, and I was very glad that I got that time. However, I'll be real with you. The first night was very very hard. I cried in the arms of some of my friends and some dear women I met on the retreat probably about 6 times that night. My sweet friend L took me aside and said that at ANY time if I wanted to go home (I'd carpooled so didn't have my own car there) to let her know and she'd take me immediately (we were about 4 hours away). Just knowing that helped me feel better. Being surrounded by people who loved me and/or were extending love to me helped more. I decided to stick it out that night, even went to bed early, exhausted. The next day and the day after that I had a wonderful, relaxing time.

I was a little sad to go home on the third day, but also very excited. It was so much fun to be met at the door by chanting, singing little ones who were excited to see me in a way I'd never seen them before, instead of just the daily grind. And *I* appreciated them more too, and it's still carrying on today.

Mind, I don't think I can do that, still, more than once a year. I just wanted to prep you that transitioning from OMG WHERE ARE MY KIDS to being Ocean (and not primarily-mama) can be tough. So be gentle with yourself, and if you need comfort and support then don't be afraid to ask for it! But I found it very rewarding. My kids had a great time with DH, he'd already planned some fun surprises, like having pancakes and waffles for dinner one night, going to McDonald's playland (I know, I know) during one of the days I was gone, having a movie-and-popcorn night at home (complete with everyone crashing in their sleeping bags on the floor), stuff like that. They missed me, but just expressed that to dad and moved on. And I cleared my schedule the day I came back and the next day so we could just be together.

So yes, I think you will have fun, and your little one will be fine. You will miss each other. You in particular may (probably) shed some tears in transition. But you know what, that's okay! I hope you have an absolute blast, and your coming home is even sweeter.

[Legato_bluesummers]

You shouldn't worry.
Everything will be fine.
He will love the same, if not more, when you get back.
Have a good trip. You deserve the vacation.