DD Pulling her hair out, 6 yo

[mudmama]

Oh, I'm in such desperate need of advise! My 6 yo dd is pulling her hair out. This has been happening for about 4 months. I've tried talking to her about it, keeping her hair pulled up morning and night, gave her a nice hair cut, giving her special attention to make her feel good about herself, etc.... I think it's stress with our new move. She could be happy though, singing a song, but at the same time yanking her bangs out. I'm ready to shave her head. Then she wont have hair to pull for a long time and that might break the habit. Or would that be completely tramatic?? I'm going to talk to the school psychologist tomorrow. Please, I need support and advise.

thank you!

[mama_b]

I don't have a whole lot of advice for you, but I just went through the same thing with my 2 year old. She was doing it from stress because I am pregnant and was so sick that I was unable to care for her at all for about 5 weeks (dh cared for her). She went completely bald on the top of her head. I cried and cried because it looked so bad. She has finally stopped since I've felt better over the past couple of weeks and it is starting to grow back. The only thing I can suggest is to try to remove the stressors that are causing her to do this, or maybe teach her some relaxation techniques. Bach's Rescue Remedy might be good too. I know it sucks.

[Britishmum]

I was a child who did this and I have to beg you, do not shave her head. That would have been unbelievably traumatic for me, and would have made the stress and feelings of sadness and frustration a million times worse.

Work to remove the stressors. I personally wouldn't talk to her about it, or comment at all, but treat the causes not the hair-pulling itself.

Don't don't don't dont shave her!!

HTH

[prettymom]

It could be trichotillomania. My mom has suffered from it since she was ten. She says if someone would have interfered when she was young she might have had a chance to stop pulling. Whenever she gets stressed out she pulls more (she does eyelashes and eyebrows, but most trichotillomaniacs pull head hair) and of course that just makes it worse. It has always been really hard on her. She says when she was little it just felt good and was addicting, that pulling gave a great sensation. I'm not saying this is what your dd has, but I wouldn't take this lightly at all. I would do whatever it takes to get her to stop pulling before it becomes a life habit. Bribery even. Anything. Best of luck. Keep us updated.

[jkpmomtoboys]

This is hard, because it might be TTM (trichotillomania). I have TTM and I have to say that my mom tried to interfere and stop it when I was younger, but to no avail.

I would talk to your daughter about why, really why, she pulls her hair. You know, what she's thinking of when she does it. She might say she's thinking about nothing, like when she watches TV or reads, but if you and she keep talking about it, I bet you'll find out that she's stressing about something.

Pulling gives a momentary sense of relief. That's why she does it.

So perhaps finding a substitute might work for her. St. John's Wort might work for her. Talk therapy might work for her. TTM is technically classified as an OCD, though it's a little different.

Anyway, it's late and I'm tired but wanted to offer any advice I could (as I sit here and pull because it's late and I'm tired)

[eggplant]

Actually, while TTM is often considered to be an "OC-spectrum disorder," it's classified diagnostically as an impulse control disorder.

Probably the best treatment for it is habit reversal training - I'm sure if you google it you'll find a lot of info. (There's also info at the TTM organization site.) The main components of HRT are awareness training (learning what prompts you to pull, how you pull, etc - sometimes people do this by putting bandaids on their fingers, if they pull without realizing it), and then using a competing response, like clenching their fists when they have urges to pull.

[jempd]

I have trichitollimania myself and I can tell you from personal experience that shaving her head won't break the habit because there isn't any hair to pull; the impulse will remain because, correct, that's what it is. The thing that is horrible about it is the shame and embarassment that you experience because other people notice and think you're weird (try having this in high school) and because though you try you can't seem to stop.

I know that it's popular to treat this with behavior modification. I chose the medication route, but then I was an adult when I sought help for it, and I think with a child you won't want to go that route. THe good thing is, she's too young to be conscious socially about or being teased. I think it's great that you are noticing and want to help because my parents ignored it except to yell at me to stop which only made me feel bad about myself as I simply couldn't stop. It's very soothing so maybe if you know what else soothes her you can up that some.

[Amila]

I too have Trich. I kind of grew out of it in my 20's, but seeing a therapist helped me because it got really bad in pregnancy. Does she exhibit any other impuse activities? I know that in conjunction with my TTM I have OCD.

[mudmama]

Well, dd also bites her nails way too short and I also have trouble getting her to eat well. I'm not worried much about these, but you're right, they could all be related. I've caught her doing it at bedtime mostly and then she says she does it at school. When I do see her doing this, what am I to say to her to remind her to stop? She's very sensative, nervous, anxious; I'm sure she gets it from me, though I don't pull my hair out, I play with it alot.
Going to the school now to try to talk to someone abotu this....
thank you for the info, I will research the trich. Love,

[choli]

Originally Posted by prettymom

It could be trichotillomania. My mom has suffered from it since she was ten. She says if someone would have interfered when she was young she might have had a chance to stop pulling. Whenever she gets stressed out she pulls more (she does eyelashes and eyebrows, but most trichotillomaniacs pull head hair) and of course that just makes it worse. It has always been really hard on her. She says when she was little it just felt good and was addicting, that pulling gave a great sensation. I'm not saying this is what your dd has, but I wouldn't take this lightly at all. I would do whatever it takes to get her to stop pulling before it becomes a life habit. Bribery even. Anything. Best of luck. Keep us updated.

Yep, I've struggled with this all my life. It is impossible to explain the affect on self esteem. I think the head shaving is a very good idea, you may be able to break the cycle before it becomes ingrained. If shaving her head does not help, get her to a therapist asap. Take this seriously, please.

[mudmama]

Update

My dd hasn't pulled her hair in two weeks! She's made a self-effort to stop. Talking to her about it has really made an impact. She's able to recognize when she's doing it and then do something else with her hands. This
is why I don't think it's the Obsessive/Compulsive disorder you're all talking about called Trichotillomania. An OCD is usually uncontrollable and is accompanied with staring into space for periods of time and counting everything. I dont see my dd doing this. But I will be aware when stress triggers this behavior again. Oh, and the school was no help at all. The school psychologist said "don't put the cart before the horse." and wanted me to call her if it continued through the summer. And when I talked to the principle, he just stared at me, he didn't know what to recommend.
Thank you for all the support and information. I didn't shave her head but I did give her a short hair cut and I think this really helped too (she didn't have the knots to tug on). If anyone has more advice, I'm open ears. I'm not calling this problem over.

[zansmama]

Just off the top of my head, I was thinking put her hair in braids with a little kerchief. It would make the hair unavailable for pulling, and it's cute as hell.
I think shaving would be very traumatic.

[teachma]

It sounds to me like whether or not your daughter has obsessive/compulsive disorder, she is suffering from some sort of anxiety. And OCD is an anxiety disorder, the type that manifests itself as obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors. In my experience (with my 6 year old son), ocd can be controlled to a certain extent. For example, my son has obsessive thoughts about death and dying, illness, poison and the like. When he is at school during the day, no one would suspect he is suffering. But he "releases" at home, in his comfort zone, and he has had several compulsions that go along with the obsessions. He used to constantly lick his fingers, for example, to see if whatever he'd touched (Windex, someone's shoe, or whatever) would poison him. He had no counting and no staring out into space. I have not really known any people with OCD to stare out into space, now that I think about it. The short haircut was a good idea to stop the hair pulling, but personally, I'd consider what underlying emotions might be causing her to pull her hair because the short haircut does not eradicate those.

[mudmama]

I think since we have been settling into our new home for 2 mnths now, my dd has adjusted. I believe this is what brought on the hair pulling in the first place. The stress is subsiding, hence the hair pulling is also subsiding. Who's to say this wont happen again though. I'm thinking her stress is a social anxiety, that I suffer from too. But again, and I'm trying not to be in denial, I want to be open minded here, I don't think it's a disease. It seems to me that its more on the level of nail biting, especially since she is showing self-control over it. Are there any hair pullers out there that show self-control for some periods of time, or is it a constant need to pull??

[karen ann]

My trichotillomania would get worse at times of stress. I started pulling my eyelashes and eyebrows during 3rd grade (a very stress filled year for me-- early onset puberty, bullying, raging alcoholic teacher, etc.). It did improve. But in high school I started pulling out my hair. I had to grow it long enough to cover the bald spot (they called it a "Friar Tuck Pattern" because it looked like a monk's tonsure). I did end up on Anafranil for about 7 years (in combination with talk therapy, behavior modification therapy, and other treatments).

It is entirely possible that this was just a blip, and she will be fine now that she's not so stressed. But you should keep an eye out for signs in the future when things might be not so smooth for her.

From what I've read, in young children (before puberty) it it less likely to be a long-term chronic thing. But you may want to monitor it a bit, especially when she starts to mature.

[LauraLoo]

A book you might be interested in reading is "Freeing Your Child From Anxiety" by Tamar Chansky, PhD.
http://www.amazon.com/Freeing-Your-C...2128972&sr=8-1

She does a very good job about outlining when anxieties are temporary, and when something becomes more of a concern. Trich is covered in there along with a host of anxiety issues. Best of all, she gives you ideas on how to help even very young children.

Since your dd has a propensity towards anxiety based coping behavior, you might want to pick this up in case her anxiety morphs into something else and to understand more deeply what she is feeling and going through.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Trauma has caused a girl at our church to do this. She is around 12-13yo she was doing it not only while awake but asleep. Before her step mom noticed how bad it was she was nearly bald. She is wearing a wig right now. I havnt found out if she is in counceling or not but I pray she is.