SO - Do children need toys?

[oliversmum2000]

Another thread about why we have toys got me thinking - do chilkdren actually need toys at all?

What do they really need?

I have given the matter some thought and have come to the conclusion, that children need 1 thing (aside from food and clothing etc) and that is TIME.

Time to be talked to and time to listen.
Time to be allowed to help in grown up things.
Time to look at each bug on a pavement instead of being rushed because we have so much to do.
Time to be read to and played with.

As far as i can see, largely toys only take away from children what they need most. i think i like many parents spend more time tidying the toys than playing with the toys with my children. so we use up this valuable time tidying toys, working to pay for toys and buying toys, i may actually spend more time with the tiys than with my children.

and why do we do this - so that hopefully when they are playing with the toys it will give us some time.......

what if we got rid of all the toys? would we have less time or more? and what is it that children really need anyway?

[greeny]

Well, technically I suppose children don't need toys. Just like they don't need books or ice cream or going to the park or museum. Or a bicycle, or roller skates. Or crayons and paint. Or visiting the pool. Or playing in the sprinkler in the back yard. As long as they get food, shelter, and clothes (but nothing fancy), they will survive.

But life isn't about simply surviving. It's about enjoying things and having fun, and I think quality toys (and even non-quality ones sometimes!) do just that.

When I was a kid, I LOVED toys. I loved my parents, but I often preferred playing with my toys to playing with my parents. I think my kids feel the same now.

So while toys definitely aren't essential for survival, they are fun and can be educational and wonderful in other ways.

[ctdoula]

I feel like my kids toys are my kids tools. They're 'job' is to be a child, learning, growing, experimenting, working things out, learning about the world. They do this in many many ways, and toys are a huge part of that. Sure kids like to help with adult things as you stated, but for how long? I think my dd would be pretty tired of time to help mommy do laundry or cleaning, etc pretty fast. I barely like doing thoes things myself. I want my kids to enjoy childhood. I spend a LOT of time with them, but toys are important too.

[mommy2abigail]

I semi-agree with the op. Time IS the most important thing. Time to relax, work together, eat together, just BE together. I SAH with dd, and really most of my time is NOT spent cleanign up her toys. SHe rarely plays with them without me anyway. And it takes maybe 3 minutes for me to put everything back on a shelf. Most of the day, I'm going about my business, and she follows around me. Ala continuum concept style. However, even in tribal areas, where there ARE no toys, kids invent them. THey may make up games or use leaves and branches, rocks and sticks to play with. So toys in the American/industiralized country sense, no I dont believe they are necessary. But things to 'play' or 'work' with, yes, very necessary.

[forthebest]

Maybe not so many toys as some children have. Children do get a lot of fun out of toys but it gets to the stage where they are a must-have to keep up with other families imo. I still find that even today my dc are 9, 11 and 15 that there is a huge fight for the box!! well not my teen but the other two. Some families don't have much money, like myself ,and I have to think quite long on how suitable toys are as a lot of them are just cheap plastic crap that break in five minutes so I don't think toys just for the sake of them is very wise. Someone recently gave us this awful toy that is strapped to the head and you answer questions about animals and stuff and you nod or shake your head quickly to score. I'm afraid it had to go cos after 10 mins of it we all had sore necks and I was actually quite worried as to the safety of something like that so there are a lot of rubbish 'toys' out there. We got bopit extreme a couple of years ago and I had never played it( too busy) and I just could not stop till I got the highest score, it was fun till then!!We are more into games and books now and I have always spent lots of time playing with my dc cos I'm just a big kid really lol. Saturday is game night here but often we are playing board games and others throught the week too.

[forthebest]

Originally Posted by mommy2abigail

I semi-agree with the op. Time IS the most important thing. Time to relax, work together, eat together, just BE together. I SAH with dd, and really most of my time is NOT spent cleanign up her toys. SHe rarely plays with them without me anyway. And it takes maybe 3 minutes for me to put everything back on a shelf. Most of the day, I'm going about my business, and she follows around me. Ala continuum concept style. However, even in tribal areas, where there ARE no toys, kids invent them. THey may make up games or use leaves and branches, rocks and sticks to play with. So toys in the American/industiralized country sense, no I dont believe they are necessary. But things to 'play' or 'work' with, yes, very necessary.

:

[eldadeedlit]

I semi-agree as well. We definitely don't need as many toys as we have. Oy. I may go through with the garbage bag today.... :

[Jenlaana]

I guess this is too mainstream of me, but I just cant imagine not giving a child a toy... I would feel very bad for the child who had not one toy of their own to play with or cuddle or "take care of".

That is not to say that I think we should commercialize our children, or that we have to get them the latest and greatest electronic beeping breaking plastic "cool thing" on the market.

I have a 12 yr old son, who just adores his bike. He rides around our little suburban block over and over and over again. It is his "toy" but the amount of joy, freedom, fresh air and exercise he gets with it would be very hard to duplicate. I think its important to spend times with our children, but its also important to let them develop their independence as well, and having things of their own helps them to foster that independence by giving them something to focus on outside of me, and giving them something that is just theirs to take care of. My daughter, as another example, is 19 mos old. She has a few stuffed animals that she loves. When she lays down for a nap, she cuddles that stuffed animal. Having her find comfort from a special toy gives her extra security. When she scrapes her knee or bumps her head (which is often, in her climbing stage) she wants not just mom or dad, but also her stuffed kitty. It makes me feel good that she can find comfort in something like that because there will be times when I am not with her and she needs something familiar and secure. When she plays, she takes care of her kitty just as I take care of her (she tries to feed it from her bottle, lays it down "to bed" and tucks a blanket around it, sometimes even giving it a smaller stuffed animal of its own)

We also have toys such as kid sized vacuum/broom, shapes that go into a container, buttons that say numbers that are printed on them, when you touch them, a couple of bouncy balls, etc. Do we need them all? No, we have quite a bit more than we need, but we went through a few different types of things finding out what worked for us and our daughter. But do we need something that she enjoys and helps her learn and explore independently AND with mom? absolutely

[karlin]

Well, of course they don't need toys, but my ds sure does love them! You know what, so do I! I love finding him great toys at thrift stores. Ds has has some of his best learning experiences using toys. I love watching him play and be creative. I think a world without toys just wouldn't be as fun (at least for us.).

Edited to add: If you're concerned about spending too much time putting toys away and cleaning up, you could set up your playroom in the Montessori style, where everything has it's place. It makes cleaning part of the "work" your children do.

[aprilushka]

There was a study recently in very poor third world countries where they gave toys to families who didn't have them and actually educated the parents in playtime with the toys with very young children. It found the children did much better later on when they went to school.

[aprilushka]

I guess also we should ask if WE need toys (that is, the ones we get for ourselves) Toys don't stop with childhood -- and "toys" for adults aren't necessarily electronics -- all kinds of things we use for both our development and pleasure could be toys also (is a child's rake a toy just b/c it's small and plastic but an adult's not?)

[oliversmum2000]

i guess - what i maybe mean is do they need so many toys....

maybe one basket where things can be put away easily rather than so many toys with so many pieces that get lost or broken and have to be found, put together and tidied.

simple wooden toys that encourage craetivity and sharing rather than so many cheap toys with flashing lights that get spread all over the floor for 2 minutes of play and then just end up making a mess.

i have gathered a huge bag full of tiny platic bits of junk which regularly cover my floor - not sure what to with them yet but i am glad they are not on the floor!!

[newmommy]

Originally Posted by ctdoula

I feel like my kids toys are my kids tools. They're 'job' is to be a child,

I agree. DS's favorite store is Toys R Us. :

He could spend HOURS in there.

Plus, I love buying him toys...

[MPJJJ]

This is an interesting discussion. We recently moved into a new home where I put all the toys in the finished basement and declared it the toy room. They haven't gone down there to play unless Ive told them too. They really dont seem to miss their toys, which makes me wonder if we have too many of the wrong kind.

[Beppie]

No, Children do not need toys.

Children do not need toys to flourish and learn.

My DH grew up in India in a family of 10 children. They had no toys, but they definitely played! They played with sticks, sand, frogs, water ... you should hear his stories of playing! I think they had a lot more fun growing up than my dd will ever have with a room filled with toys.

Sure, toys serve a useful purpose, and can be a great way to learn. But NO, children do not NEED them. After all, don't we see that our children would rather "play" with real things that we use, not toys? My dd's favorite things to do are to help me make pizza dough, or wash the dishes, or water the garden. None of these things are toys, they're the real thing. And they beat out toys EVERY TIME!

Sure Kids love toy stores. They're being brought up in a materialistic culture. More, more, more is all they hear from friends or from grow-ups who buy fancy new cars and clothes or from TV, whatever. And look at all the colors in toy stores. Kids learn to want, want, want, more more more. And when they get the new toy home, how long do they play with it? a few minutes? many toys are junk and do not hold children's attention for very long.

[aprilushka]

Maybe then the discussion should be refined to type and quantity of toys, not toys in general. I do think kids need toys, but toys can be anything, really. I also don't like the bleep bleep stuff but some of it in limited amounts is okay (people give it to us, we don't buy it) I also think that things like bikes, scooters, etc can give an added dimension of enjoyment that other things can't

[yogabear]

This exact topic has been on my mind lately. Over the past four years since my first dd was born we have received toys as gifts, purchased some and I think some grew on a tree in the front yard.

I think toys are wonderful learning tools. In fact, I cannot imagine how boring it would be to not have them. Just yesterday I built a bird house out of legos with my girls, and we had a blast! I love to see their imaginations at work.

I've found that all the toys do not need to be "out" all at once. In fact, one thing I've done is separate them, and every few weeks I rotate everything. My girls think they have all new stuff to play with, and there is less mess to clean up.

I also think that the clean up time is important. My girls have such a sense of pride when they are the ones helping. Oliversmum2000 is right, TIME is the important factor.

[carmel23]

I think children need toys; but maybe not what we consider toys and what is marketed as 'toys.'

A toy is a plaything, and my kids are constantly inventing them. They make dolls or people out of pine-cones and sticks. They love rocks. My 3 year-old befriends oranges and lemons...

Yes, children need toys (they learn and understand through play and toys). Play is vital to children. But no they don't NEED the things that come in boxes--they can make their own toys out of dish towels and... well, just about anything.

[UUMom]

My kids love toys with a zillion pieces...Playmobil and Lego stuff esp. :

We don't have any beeping toys that I can think of right now. Maybe the Geosafari...that does make noise. And the Geosafari Globe.

[oliversmum2000]

Originally Posted by Beppie

Children do not need toys to flourish and learn.

My DH grew up in India in a family of 10 children. They had no toys, but they definitely played! They played with sticks, sand, frogs, water ... you should hear his stories of playing! I think they had a lot more fun growing up than my dd will ever have with a room filled with toys.

Sure, toys serve a useful purpose, and can be a great way to learn. But NO, children do not NEED them. After all, don't we see that our children would rather "play" with real things that we use, not toys? My dd's favorite things to do are to help me make pizza dough, or wash the dishes, or water the garden. None of these things are toys, they're the real thing. And they beat out toys EVERY TIME!

Sure Kids love toy stores. They're being brought up in a materialistic culture. More, more, more is all they hear from friends or from grow-ups who buy fancy new cars and clothes or from TV, whatever. And look at all the colors in toy stores. Kids learn to want, want, want, more more more. And when they get the new toy home, how long do they play with it? a few minutes? many toys are junk and do not hold children's attention for very long.

this makes perfect sense to me.