or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Preteens and Teens › 16 year old daughter and hair dye
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

16 year old daughter and hair dye

post #1 of 48
Thread Starter 
My 16 year old daughter has naturally blonde hair but has been wanting to dye it dark brown or black. She has actually done this a few times. I got tired of arguing with her about it and came to a "It's her hair -- what's my problem?" conclusion. The last time she dyed it, it turned a strange orange color, and I took her to the hairdresser who re-dyed it (dark brown) since that's what she wanted.

The thing is -- I think she looks much better blonde. Her eyes are blue and she is fair-skinned, and it just looks much more natural to me.

She is hounding me again -- I want to dye my hair! What would you tell her? Is it me that's being ridiculous? I want her to leave her hair alone.
post #2 of 48
Let her just go ahead and get it out of her system. I remember starting to color my hair at about 14-ish, and it was truly awful! At 16 I went to the prom with apricot colored hair. It took doing all of that to realize that I really love my chestnut-brown hair with golden and auburn highlights, and I let it grow out in college. Have not dyed it since.

Another alternative- have her fund the dye job, whether at-home kit, or at the salon.

Clara
post #3 of 48
Choose your battles!

One of my sons likes to wear his hair really long, and I don't care, as long as he keeps it clean and combed. But when we attended my nephew's baptism, my Mom suggested he get it cut, so he would look nice in pictures. He was willing to cut his hair for Grandma, and I stayed out of it!

Hair and clothes are pretty benign ways for a teenager to express independence and individuality. They are not permanent or dangerous. I would let her do whatever she wanted to her hair (as long as it is clean and reasonably tidy).
post #4 of 48
Let her do it, I"d take her to a salon though. FWIW my sister has blue eyes, is pasty white & has naturally brown hair. Hers has always been lighter than mine(mine's almost black). The last few years hers has been darker, almost as dark as mine but she swears it's natural now.lol
post #5 of 48
I remember when I was 12 they came out with Glints hair dye which was wasn't permanent. My cousin and I did it and her mom freaked ut and yelled and made her wash her hair over and over again. Not what the OP is doing, clearly, but it really made an impression on me. My parents always said "Its just hair" and let us do whatever to it. I look back at some of the pics and wish they'd stopped me..hehehe...
post #6 of 48
It's just hair. It grows back out. I think I was about her age when I dyed mine green. Over the years, it's also been platinum, strawberry-blonde, auburn, some color that looked like Kool-Aid, dark brown, and for the last few years, my natural dirty-blonde.
post #7 of 48
it's only hair , the more you fight it the more she'll want it done. i used to do mine specifically to tick off my dad, i knew it got to him and did it as payback for everytime he said no to a party or short skirt or whatever it was that week
or maybe she's happier in her skin that way , perhaps it just makes her feel good, she'll always be blonde underneath maybe she'll leave it be later on.
post #8 of 48
Let her do it, but have her get professional advice.

I knew a woman in Dallas years ago who had the Goth look with the white skin, black hair and eyebrows, the whole thing. She was a white-blonde naturally, and she told me the reason her hair was black was that she used temporary blue dye and it doesn't come out of blonde hair like it's supposed to. A hairdresser told her she could either let it grow out, or cover it with something dark.

She used to joke that she was the only brunette with blonde roots in all of texas.

I think we should let them do pretty much whatever they want with their hair in their teens, what's it really going to hurt? Now I've just got to remember this conversation the next time I have a power struggle with dd. It's so easy to see it from the outside, isn't it?
post #9 of 48
My Dd has been dying her hair every now and then since she was about 10. It's just hair. I'd help her learn about how to do it safely or how to best get the color she's going for if she's needing that, but otherwise it's all good.
post #10 of 48
At least its only hair dye. If that is the extent of her rebellion, be happy!
post #11 of 48
My friend's son has gorgeous black hair, which he grows long down his back. BUT--when he was a kid he had it in a mohawk and it was every color of the rainbow. My advice to her: take lots of pictures.
post #12 of 48
When I was younger, starting around 15 I guess, I began coloring my hair. My choice of dye was manic panic, and I often went around sporting blue, purple, black or red hair, and sometimes combinations.
God love my mother, she never said anything negative. She complimented the things I did that she liked and ignored the hair colors. I love that she was able to do that for me when I was trying to figure out who I was and who I wanted to become.
No suggestions - just my story. Best of luck to you Mama!
post #13 of 48
My only suggestion is to try to get her to use Manic Panic or Punky Color hair dye. They both make black. If she wants dark brown, mix red, blue and green. It comes out nice, I swear.

These dyes are not permanent, are vegetable based, non toxic, and like the best conditioner ever.

It's only hair..
post #14 of 48
when i was 16 the more my mom told me NO about the hair dye i wanted to use and such the more i wanted to do it...i have very pretty natural dk auburn hair.....i wanted it redder and streaked.....and so i did it. sometimes it turned out great, sometimes not so great..but it grew out or washed out eventually......

it took a few years for me to really like my own hair and i stopped dying it for a bit and got pretty highlights which i've kept off and on throughout the years.

there are a few out there that wash out and will take longer to do so with such light hair or take her to a salon and have it done...that way, you can pretty much control the color (well, the colorist could..)....


but it is only hair.......
post #15 of 48
I'd let her do it. My dd is 17 and has had her hair a variety of colors. They can experiment now in ways they can't when they enter the work force, depending on the job, so why not let her enjoy the freedom?
post #16 of 48
My 14yo dd likes to color her hair. I can sympathize with what you are saying--I think my daughter is beautiful with her natural hair color. We have talked about what the chemicals do to your hair, the positives of appreciating your natural beauty, and all of that. I leave the decision up to her. It's pink now and does look cute. She talks about letting it go natural this summer--we'll see.

Tell your daughter about the semi-permanent colors. They wash out slowly over a couple of months, and are less damaging to the hair.
post #17 of 48
I let my 11 year old dye her hair, so I'm definitely going to say go ahead on your 16 year old
post #18 of 48
I'd go ahead and let her do it. It is just hair, and like the other have said, it's best to pick your battles. I had a cool mom who never said much when I dyed my hair, first blonde, then purple, then red, then blonde again, then black, then red again, then back to blonde, then light brown, and now it's finally blonde again. Ahhh.
post #19 of 48
I feel that is a small battle. She wants to dye it a "normal" color. I would let her. But I would take her to a salon to get it done so it has a better chance of looking good. I started dying my hair around 11 years old. I went from dirty blonde to light blonde. Its just hair. It will grow out in time.
post #20 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by LotusBirthMama View Post
I remember when I was 12 they came out with Glints hair dye which was wasn't permanent. My cousin and I did it and her mom freaked ut and yelled and made her wash her hair over and over again. Not what the OP is doing, clearly, but it really made an impression on me. My parents always said "Its just hair" and let us do whatever to it. I look back at some of the pics and wish they'd stopped me..hehehe...
haha YES. That stuff was all the rage in junior high. I remember this one girl in my 6th grade class used to dye hers with Glints and somehow always ended up with hair the color of macaroni and cheese. I remember dying my hair with Glints on the sneak. Man, that stuff was crap. I hope if it's still around they have made it less craplike.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Preteens and Teens
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Preteens and Teens › 16 year old daughter and hair dye