16 year old daughter and hair dye - Page 2

[CarrieMF]

I was 15 and dyed my hair as part of a home ec experience. My HE teacher asked me about a dozen times if I was sure my mom said it was okay.lol It's a small town and she must not have believed me because she phoned mom at work to ask her for sure.

6 years later mom dyed my cousin's hair. He was 13/14 with dark hair like mine and she dyed/bleached big dots into his hair. My aunt(her sister) didn't know until he got back to her place. And to think my mom got really mad at grandma for cutting my bangs(and my sister's).

[mayasmama]

Just like the other posters have said, it is just hair and easy enough to change it. The only thing that I would add is that if she needs to have it colour corrected then she pays for it. It is her choice to dye it, it is her responsibility to fund it

[cjanelles]

Ack...

I hate to say this (because I know it's going to come back and bite me in the a** in about 5 years) but, in the grand scheme of things, dyeing one's hair is so minute and certainly not an issue I'd personally want to take a stand on with my kids.

Of course, I was dyeing my hair all sorts of colors when I was a teenager. I outgrew it, though.

Really, bottom line? It is her hair. You may think she looks better blonde, but she obviously prefers it darker. If it makes her feel "right", then you don't want to stand in the way of that, do you?

I only ask because I have extremely curly hair...like crazy off-the-wall curly...have had since I was a kid. About 2 years ago (I'm 32), I had my hair professionally, chemically straightened. The first time I looked in the mirror after that first appointment, I felt like I was seeing myself for the first time...the real me, the me who had been hidden under all of that curly hair.

But guess who hated it--and hates it still??? You got it, my mom.

She misses my curly hair. And not because we had it in common or anything (her hair is stick straight). She just preferred me with curls.

I, on the other hand, can't imagine ever having anything but straight hair now...

You will have other battles to fight with your girl. I'd let the hair thing go.

Of course, I'll get back to you in about 5 years when my own now-10 yr old daughter wants to chop all of her long, curly hair off...because I won't be able to stand it if she does.

[SusanElizabeth]

Thank you very much for all your responses to my question. It's amazing how much getting other people's feedback can help. I'm realizing now that what she does to her hair is her business! My husband actually said the same thing that a lot of you did, but I wasn't completely listening.

[trinity6232000]

Originally Posted by SusannaG

The last time she dyed it, it turned a strange orange color, and I took her to the hairdresser who re-dyed it (dark brown) since that's what she wanted.

A small tip so your dd can get the best brunette color at home. Since she is a natural blonde
warm red brown shade will look better than if she goes for a cool shade of a black/brown.
Plus if would help if she colored her hair a deep bright red first, then a couple days later color
it with the brunette shade. When you think of hair color think of painting. When you add
yellow and brown you can get different hues of green or orange hair. When you add the red
to the blonde, then go brown, it mixes on your hair more naturally.

[kawa kamuri]

At sixteen she's a young woman. I'd let her do what she wants with her hair but I'd only pay to correct her mistakes that one time.

[Marsupialmom]

I would ask her why she is choosing these dark colors.

Then I would be honest...."DD the hair colors you are choosing for yourself are not flattering. I wish you would explore other color options" Say it once and only once. Then I would make her pay for her own hair color. It is her hair.

[Jessy1019]

Let her dye it (whether she pays or you is up to you, though).

My 4.5 year old has had every non-natural color out there and wants to have it professionally dyed like a rainow for her 5th birthday. I said sure.

My mom doesn't like me with dark hair either . . . but it's on my head, not hers.

[antannie]

I worry about the chenicals in dyes and dd wants to have red hair like her bio mum so we have settled on henna.

I agree. Pick your battles.

[CorasMama]

I let/help my 9 y.o. dye her hair from dark brown to a cool funky auburn/burgundy. It's temporary, washes out in a couple of months.

If (and only if) all the parts that are previously dyed have grown out and been cut off, try henna! Henna is awesome, can be used to dye hair light brown to dark brown and several shades of red. And it leaves your hair better than before. Super stale henna can be used to condition hair w/o dying it, it's so good. But it interacts badly w/ chemical hair dye, and can fry (literally) hair with chemical dye on it. IIRC, henna is a base, and chemical hair dye is an acid.

But back on topic, I'd say let her do her thing w/ her hair. It's not going to negatively affect her now, as school won't care like a job might, and it's a pretty innocuous (sp?) form of self-expression. And save your energy and mom-capital for more important issues.

[scherzo]

Regarding henna hair dye, www.hennaforhair.com is a very helpful site that explains (among other things) that henna can be used over chemical dyes if and only if the henna is very pure (body art quality).

[Kushali]

Wigs

I remember my sister and I went through several years of "I want blue hair". My mom's solution was to offer to buy a wig if we didn't dye our hair. I never took her up on it, but my sister had about half a dozen wigs by the time she went to college. I have some pictures of her in a blue bob that she wore often.

I think she got the wigs on sale at the costume store. They couldn't have been too expensive beacuse my sister bought some with her baby sitting money when my mom stopped paying for them.

[EdnaMarie]

I would tell her, "I think you look better blond. That's my opinion." And let her dye her hair. I wouldn't pay for it, though. But then, I don't think parents should pay for non-necessities for a 16-year-old and that is not something that every family agrees on.

I would never pay for DD to go to a salon for a dye job, either. If she wants a good dye job, she can pay for it.

I guess my limit would be paying for a repair job right before an important event, if she'd dyed it herself and it turned out badly. I would do that, out of love and sympathy. But not otherwise.

[Alkenny]

My 14 year old...enough said.

[Mamma Mia]

It's her hair. Why do you care? Also, can you hear your own mother saying to you that the way you style your hair is so much less flattering that the way *she* thinks you should do it? At 16 she knows what she wants to look like. I'm surprised it's even an issue! My dd has been choosing new haircolors since age 2.5!

[mommy68]

I would let her do it too. Maybe you could make it special and take her to a salon to have it done properly. I would pick my battles wisely and not argue over something like this. It could be worse. She could be asking for a tattoo or a peircing in a not so nice place on her body. I would allow my child to get a normal hair coloring done, but not blue or orange or something. That would be a definite no-no in our family.

[Mamma Mia]

My dd is 4.5 and has already done her hair red, orange, green, purple and magenta. Next, she says, is atomic pink. Who am I to tell her what to do with her hair?

[alaskaberry]

just lurking around the forums...not a mom to a teen, but it wasn't that long ago for me, so I recall it well...

I used to dye my hair with manic panic--and my mother's bathtub too. IMHO, you ought to let her dye her hair...as long as she uses her own money to do it. And if she messes it up (which is why it's good to dye hair with a friend), that's her problem...don't pay to fix it!

[Tishie]

I'm glad you've decided not to sweat it! Hair color can be so much fun, and it's one of the best things about being young, IMO - clothes, hair, makeup, etc... just having the freedom to try out whatever sort of look you want to. My son had green hair when he was 11, then grew it down his back, then shaved it off. My daughter has had blonde streaks, blue streaks, etc... starting when she was 8 years old. Heck, just a few years ago, I had purple chunks in my hair - the beauty of going back to school.

[Shane]

Originally Posted by mommy68

I would allow my child to get a normal hair coloring done, but not blue or orange or something. That would be a definite no-no in our family.

I don't understand this way of thinking. My Dh feels the same though, but he can't explain why, just that it's the way his parents were. Well, that's the way my parents were too, they say it's religious. I'm religious too, and can't find what they're talking about in the Bible. So I say, who cares if she wants pink hair or whatever color. She's 16 years old. It's not like she's trying to land that corperate career position. It's just hair it'll grow back. You aught to let her shave it if she wants to.