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What is mainstream in your area? - Page 2

post #21 of 33
Here, mainstream seems to be:

bf for a couple of months (9 months is considered long term)
crib sleeping for babies
strollers and baby seats, no slings or even front pack carriers
public school or homeschooling for religious reasons
typical American fare considered healthy but not really (refined carbs, salad covered in dressing, etc.)
dads yelling at their kids during sports

But I like it here in my little town. No one has really looked down on me for anything I do (even when I was trying to ec, they were nice- then again, who knows what they said behind my back), but I don't get many invitations to playgroups.
post #22 of 33
T Megan, your daughter is adorable!
post #23 of 33
T blue violet, I love the link to education. Very thought provoking, I am so glad I homeschool, but it really makes me think about how I homeschool!
post #24 of 33
Thread Starter 
post #25 of 33
We're north of Toronto, Ontario...

Hospital births are usual, bf'ing is common (up to about a year), EBF is fairly uncommon, though I've met some other like-minded moms so I have my support group. Most kids go to nursery school at about 3 years, and most go to public school after that. Co-sleeping is uncommon. Lots of babies are carried, though some ride in the stroller. No babies are left screaming in the stroller, though. Very few children are not vaxed. Many families eat fast food, frozen dinners, and give their kids way too much candy and junk.

Discipline is the strange one, though. Most parents around here don't spank, but they do yell. It is something of the "bawl 'em out then bail 'em out situation" in which the kid makes a mistake, the parent yells at him in a shaming way, then the parent makes up for the problem instead of letting the kid fix it. The alternative is that the parent doesn't yell at the kid, but still fixes the problem for the kid. There doesn't seem to be much of a sense that kids can take responsibility for their own mistakes.

Many parents are very ambitious for their kids here, too. They are competitive about academic achievement, and they sign their kids up for a lot of lessons and courses. It is a big deal to go to the awards ceremonies at the schools and photograph the kids getting an award. I sometimes wonder if any of those parents have a picture of their kids snuggled up on the couch reading a comic book with a big smile on their face?
post #26 of 33
I'm in the north burbs of SF, and here:
bf is norm up to about a year.

baby buckets are prevalent, but slings are too

SUVs are the norm but lots of station wagons (Volvos, of course.)

Farmer's Market is THE place to get food among hip mamas. Its' a yearlong event, so everyone goes there, very kid friendly and that's a wonderful thing. Also Whole Foods and lots of independent organic/healthy food stores

Spanking is SO NOT DONE except by the "lower classes", and everyone here is so freaking new money and they're paranoid they will reveal their true status that they talk their kids to death to discipline them. I've witnessed conversations between 18 m.o. kids and their mothers that made ME want to go into therapy. They beat the @#$% out of their kids using a sugar-sweet "Mommy tone" of voice. I'm not advocating physical discipline, but removing a child for hurting another and making them stay in their time-out is appropriate, IMO, and less painful than these long, protracted lectures to kids who aren't toilet trained. (Sorry about that rant. It just popped out.)

Overall, I like it here a lot. There are undertones of racism and a real sense of entitlement, though. No place is perfect. :
post #27 of 33

In our area~

Most moms around here seem to bottlefeed...if any breastfeed it is for only a few months...most use disposables and I don't personally know any who co-sleep by choice..most let their babies cry it out etc...pretty typical mainstream...
post #28 of 33
In Santa Cruz, central CA the norm was on the “AP” side. I didn’t meet anyone who didn’t breast feed and I met lots of mothers in different groups and settings. I breast fed in public and had nothing but nice looks – and I was NOT discrete. Not allot of hitting. Lots of slings and carriers and strollers too. Homemade food. I don’t know. I guess I just jumped in here for two things.
1. To debunk the mainstream thing because I am also bugged by the term and 2. To ask what a baby bucket is. Is it a Bjorn? They are very common in Santa Cruz (and among my uber AP friends).
post #29 of 33
Originally posted by HannahSims
1. To debunk the mainstream thing because I am also bugged by the term and 2. To ask what a baby bucket is. Is it a Bjorn? They are very common in Santa Cruz (and among my uber AP friends).
1. What bugs you about the term mainstream?

2.In my area it refers to a carseat. Lots of peole carry around their children in car seats, instead of slings or in arms.

post #30 of 33
where I live

Formula feeding. most do not even attempt BF & Ive been asked since DD was 6 months old if I was STILL BF'ing?? now im asked werent you supposed to stop before now?

strollers .. I think Ive seen 1 sling in the 5 1/2 years Ive been parenting.. ?? I didnt know what a sling was untill I got the internet 3 years ago..I had used a snuggli with my son.. but damn I wish Id know there where more comfortable options..lol
I tried slinging my DD out in public but If was nearly impossible to take care of my Son who is disabled & have her in a sling.. I even had to ask a stranger to hold DD once so I could get my son who was crying.. after that we used the double stroller

Spanking is very common .. even in public

not may SAHM's..

everyone uses disposible diapers..I was ignorant to the types & where to get them untilla friend showed me 10 months ago.. then I switched

junk foods & fast foods.. I even went to a fiends birthday party for her son turning 2.. only took a empty cup for my daughter since she hates spill proof now & sippies spill in my bag..I was the only one who looked shocked that all they had to drink was soda!
I had to give my daughter water & she was not too happy about that.. she only drinks rice milk & watered down juice from a cup

circumsizing..I did cause I knew no different at the time..

I assumne CIO.. I dont talk to many parents IRL about this
crib sleeping.. though I do know a few oms whove done Co-sleeping PT

basically everything these boards are not about..
post #31 of 33
I guess mainstream is not so bad a word if used like the OP intended. (didn’t mean ANY offence, OP). I think talking about Mainstream as what most people do/think can be helpful. I don’t think, however, that it should be used to condescend and I have seen it used this way here at MDC. (it seems like the term baby bucket is also not so nice but I did a search and this has been done here and I don't think we are even alowed to talk about it and it's not the topic of this tread...I was just wondering-thanks)

To get back on topic:
I live in Heidelberg, Germany now and the range of parenting styles is HUGE! It’s so nice to see all the different cultures of parents together at the parks and stuff. People seem to be all over the board with specific practices combining really AP stuff with really not AP stuff, kwim? As a result, people seem to be more moderate about their choices and tolerant of people making different ones…I love this!!

For example I went to this “Green” family festival this weekend. It was a typical crunchy family fest with organic food, drum circles and etc. but everyone was drinking heavily...fun! BTW, strollers are the total norm here and they are all big huge things that rock and have shocks and stuff. But this is a cultural thing because most people don’t drive. One more thing, candy is offered to all children in shops and even in the homeopathic pediatrician’s office.
post #32 of 33
Maintream around here....I'm in central new york...

Boys are circed wtih out second thought.

Breastfeeding is hardly seen -I've never seen other mommas breastfeeding at the mall, and there's ALWAYS tons of moms/babies there. I think I can count on one hand other breastfeeding moms I saw at wic appts.

Baby holders are overused. Not by everyone, but lots of people insist on dragging babies around in carseats no matter where they are. I've only seen two other slinging mommas in real life, while "people watching" - they looked like OTSBHs actually.

NO ONE uses cloth. Unless they're the ones keeping the one cloth diaper service thats in the tricounty area in bussiness - I haven't run into them.

VERY FEW people will even consider homebirth. I only know two other mommas IRL here who attempted homebirth but transfered. They still count as HB advocates in my book though of course.

We have a lot of Vegs/Vegans in the area, and many people tend to be environmentally concious...

and I know this can't possibly be mainstream, but I was in for a shock a few weeks ago while at FIL's another momma was feeding her 6 month old girl hot dogs, sugared ice tea, macaroni salad and baked beans Then her b/f tried giving my toddler beer!!
post #33 of 33
I'm in central NJ where most attempt to bf but only for a few weeks, 4 months tops. Extended Bf is unheard of. Cloth diapering and not circing is also unheard of. I had one neighbor who didn't vax her kids and everyone always talked about how they were insane (literally).
Most of the moms in the area have nannies so they are mostly secret spankers. They'd never do it in public (that's for the "lower class" like one other poster said) but do at home. CIO is huge and highly recommended.
But a lot of people are really into eating well or vegetarian lifestyle.
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