|Now if DH and I were to divorce, I am not a person who would seek CS. I feel like for me to take care of DD on my own is just fine. I know I can financially. And I wouldn't ask DH for a dime. But that is just me. Just me but I wouldn't have children that I knew I couldn't support on my own solely. I wouldn't depend on another person to make sure we had food on the table.
I guess a lot of that has to do with my situation with my parents. Dad never paid much CS and my mom did fine without it. For me and DD, I wouldn't have it any other way.
This does not mean I look down on the moms here who need CS, I don't, It is just the choice I made for myself before I had a baby.
Dawn, can I ask how old you are? Just wondering, because I'm *guessing* that you were a woman who finished college, had a good career, and then settled down....
In my case I quit college to get married and have kids. I was sure he was the one and we would be together forever. We stood before God and our families and pledged "til death do us part". I gladly quit school to work so he could finish school on a full baseball scholarship. He had already been drafted to play for the Brewers once, and they still wanted him, so we were sure that him finishing one more year of college would set us up to be ready for great things. I worked full-time and we had our first baby, and we counted the days until the next draft. Then he ruined his shoulder and that all went down the drain. But it was okay, because we had each other, had our daughter, moved on to other plans, and we were going to be together "til death do us part". Had another baby a few years later, he moved up in his career, we decided that I should stay at home full-time (I'd been working part-time), we bought a new house. Still happily living our lives "til death do us part". Got pregnant a few years later and things went down hill. He stopped coming home at night. Found out later that he had been cheating since before I got pregnant with number three. So much for "til death do us part".
I'm just trying to say that a lot of us single moms sacrificed a lot of things. I was halfway through college headed towards my accounting degree. If I had gone on to get my CPA like I'd planned I wouldn't need that child support. But we made decisions *together* that put me into the position that I do need it. I don't regret those decisions - they put me on the path to the wonderful kids I have now - but just because he later made the decision to leave doesn't mean that he shouldn't have any responsibility anymore.
I admire the fact that you can make it on your own someday if you have to. But the point is that you *shouldn't* have to. You and your husband made the decision to have your daughter together (at least I'm guessing you did! ;-) ) and you both have a responsibility to support her, no matter what happens in your relationship.