helping a 3YO with moving

[sunnylady303]

My 3.5 YO is really senstive to changes in routine and schedules. She likes everything just so. We are going to be moving soon. What do you think we can do to make it easier for her? Any ideas? Thanks!

[LaughingHyena]

Watching with interest as we will be moving soon.

We didn't have children last time we moved but a few things we did do were putting already used bedding on the beds so then smelled right and burning scented candles/insense to cover the "strange" smell of the new house.

At the moment we are talking a lot with DD about packing all our things nad moving them to the new house, she keeps pointitng to thingsand asking if we are taking them with us She keeps drawing pictures for her new room so I;m keeping them ready to put up.

I'm not so sure about routines and things, we're not moving far so I;m hoping there won;t be toomany changes there. We will still go to the same playgroups etc.

[HarperRose]

We have a 5.5 yr old who is also very sensitive to changes like that. It's gotten better as she's gotten older, but some things still really stress her out. I'm talking crying and upset for a week or more. Sad for the kid, sad for the parent, stressful for everyone.

We packed up everything but their favorite toys, blankets, etc. We took them to the new house to see it (not always possible), talked alot about the new town, things we could do, we played there when we could (great parks in that town, actually), and it seemed to help.

When we moved back here, since we've been here before, DD was fine with it.

I think one mistake we've made is letting them go w/ the il's for a long weekend while we move. They don't see the moving process, they just know that they sleep in their beds in a new place. We did it that way for our own convenience (no kids underfoot while moving big stuff), but this last time I realized it was not for their benefit. We're still in an apartment (2 bedroom) and expecting #3 in October, so this is definitely not our last move, unfortunately. We will be doing things different next time.

[StephandOwen]

My ds is 3 1/2 and has lots of issues with routines/schedules (autism). We will be moving this summer to a place 2 states away. I don't know how he's going to do with it but if I had to guess I would say it won't be as bad as I imagine. We have been, and will continue, to visit the place where we are moving. We're here right now, in fact, for a week He seems comfortable in this house so hopefully moving won't be too hard on him. I think the worst part will be missing his Grandpa (we currently live with my father and he and Owen have a good relationship).

I'll be looking to this thread for more ideas!

[kandace]

I helped some friends of mine move (4 kids under age 5), and I think one of her ideas for helping the kids worked really well. In that weird period of transition (where a lot of stuff is boxed up/moved out/whatever), she had a separate clear, big plastic box for each of the kids. The specific things they each needed were kept in those boxes, which were moved the last day. That way, #1, people could help them pack and move and the kids' favorite things, clothes they would need, and special food items were not packed away and #2, the kids knew that their favorite thing were still there. Plus, the boxes got to travel with them on moving day and they immediately had favorite things when they were in the new house.

I also like the idea of having her draw pictures or make things for her new room and be as active as possible in picking out where things go and how it is decorated. If you make this transition a lot of fun and keep talking about how exciting it is, it might be easier than you think to get her to see this as a positive change and not problematic and difficult. Moving is a tough thing to do anyway, but having to worry with a lot of the emotions going on in children makes it even harder.

[loveandkindness]

We just moved very far away with a 4-year-old who loves routine. One thing I found to be very helpful was one of the Bach Flower Remedies -- Walnut. It is for transitions and changes, and worked really well. In fact, I started to forget to give it to her and she started being more emotional and I finally realized why and became very regular about it again (3 times a day) and she is much happier.

The other thing that helped was that instead of concentrating on unpacking I concentrated on getting a new routine for her. Within a week of moving she was enrolled in dance and art class and we had been to library storyhour. I also scheudled two playdates right away. You can find moms to have playdates with online in groups like the "meetup" boards. I tried to "replace" the activities she had at home, even though I couldn't replace her specific friends.

[ajsgirl]

We did this about 6 months ago with our very sensitive then 3.5 yo ds. The day we moved was one of the worst days I can remember. He was so upset they almost didn't let us on the plane. We made some mistakes that I wish I could change now:

1) We took a very early am flight, waking him from his bed and sticking him in a strange car to take him to the airport when he should have been sleeping. We were flying cross country tho and thought we needed to be there early in the day to look for housing. We should have taken a later flight so he could have slept later.

2) We spent about 2 weeks away from our house before we left, visiting family and keeping the house clean while it was being shown for sale. We should have staryed home and relaxed, keeping things as status quo as possible for him.

3) We didn't talk him through the process at the airport beforehand... ie going through security, taking off jackets and shoes, getting on the plane, etc. Plus we had to get a rental car when we got here which was also traumatic (it wasn't OUR car).

4) We shipped alot of his favorite things in a box ahead of time instead of bringing them with us that day.

Anyway, I'm glad it's over. We have since gone back to the East Coast for a visit and it was much easier because we really prepared him well. Good luck to you!

[delphiniumpansy]

We moved last year with a 3 year old. The hardest part was prepacking/thinning our stuff and putting it in storage before we moved. That helped us sell our house but she missed 50% of her stuff. So, we bought a few new things to ease that transition and promised everything would come back soon. We also did a lot of fun stuff during the sale so she was distracted - zoo, playdates, etc.

We camped out in the house for a few days before the furniture arrived in order to make it kind of seem fun. We were supervising a few repairs before our stuff arrived. We camped inside but in our tent and sleeping bags. That was fun.

My mom sent dd a package which arrived during the camping trip with all the cars from Cars. That was awesome and she still talks about it. She loved recieving mail at the new house, particularly with a gift.

Once we moved, we made it a priority to unpack and set up her stuff first and we let her play with the boxes. That was fun. We also explored our new city and found a nearby park with playground.

We found a group of MDC moms here asap to play with.

But, she still misses our old house and we talk about it. You can't make it completely go away, the loss. You just have to respect it and take it one day at a time.

[KathinJapan]

in addition to ideas mentioned we also had a little *good-bye* ceremony at the old place. We said good-bye to each of the rooms and talked about the nice times we had in each of them, fairly easy as we only had 5 rooms including bath and toilet (which are separate rooms in Japan). She did talk about wanting to *go home* after we had moved, but I gently explained this was her new home. hope things go smoothly for you.
Kathryn