I wish I could stop thinking about it.

[bluetoes]

I always though the idea of circumsicion seemed quite silly. Why bother cutting a bit of healthy tissue off a baby. It seemed mean, but I really had no idea. I figured if I had a boy I wouldn't bother, but that was the extent of my thinking. I knew because my parter is European he is intact, but again, not something I put much thought into. I must admit I was quite naive on the subject thinking a penis is a penis!

Then I got pregnant and started spending time on pregnancy boards and happened upon some articles about what it really is, what it does, and what it involves. I nearly cried when I saw pictures and realised exactly what was happening. Hormones of course turned me momma bear even before my wee man was born and I was sick at the thought they'd accidentally do it in the hospital. I was even more sick by the pure ignorance I witnessed & read.

So the wee man was born and to steal a quote from someone we escaped from 'circumsicion mountain.' Each day I was in the hospital my ob would come in to check on me and say 'do you want the circumsicion, not medically necesarry, only cosmetic'. OK so why TF are you doing them lady?! Anyway, to cut a long story short, the older my guys gets the more horrified I am by it all.

I wish I could stop thinking about it, but I guess because protecting my child from hurt is very much at the front of my brain it's not much of a leap to go to thinking about people who hurt their children to this subject. Everytime someone has a baby, be it celebrity or person I know I wonder, e.g. Mary Cheney & her partner. For a lot of people I am delighted they're having girls. I have a couple of friends I know would do it and I pray they don't have boys. I would be disgusted with them if they did it and don't know how I could get passed it. To me it's like being friends with someone who thinks it's ok to hit their children. Or someone who thinks it's ok to use a shock collar to train their dog or have their ears trimmed to a cosmetic shape. I don't want to be around people like that.

Anyway, I wish this subject wasn't so upsetting to me and I could forget it every once in a while! I guess part of it is knowing I will have to defend my choice to people here and fear my child will get picked on. We plan to move back to Europe eventually I would be lying if I didn't admit this is one of the factors in choosing to leave. I order a 'foreskin isn't a birth defect' frig magnet and will not tippie-toe around anyone anymore.

Ok rant over, glad there is a safe place to do it for me!

[Oceanjones]

I feel excatly the same way! I have some acquaintances who are totally mainstream and just found out they are having boys. I just want to cry thinking about what their little guys are going to have to go through just for the sake of looking a certain way. It just angers and saddens me.

Where did you find the firdge magnet??? I want one too!!!!

[GoodMomma]

I feel the same way and my DS is circ'ed. : I can't believe I once thought like a pro-circ! Now that I know about circ'ing, it all doesn't make sense to me. We're pregnant, eat right...worry about every little thing, the bay comes out and we tell a stranger to strap him down to cut a peice of his penis off??? Doesn't make sense to me at all.

[bluetoes]

Originally Posted by Oceanjones

I feel excatly the same way! I have some acquaintances who are totally mainstream and just found out they are having boys. I just want to cry thinking about what their little guys are going to have to go through just for the sake of looking a certain way. It just angers and saddens me.

Where did you find the firdge magnet??? I want one too!!!!

Cafe press. I also got a button to put on the diaper bag. I am not brave enough for a bumper sticker or t-shirt, but that should be enough to at least get friends into dialogue.

You know it's sad to put on infant through that but what kills me is how anyone can think it's ok permanently alter their sexual function WITHOUT ASKING THEM!

[bluetoes]

Originally Posted by GoodMomma

I feel the same way and my DS is circ'ed. : I can't believe I once thought like a pro-circ! Now that I know about circ'ing, it all doesn't make sense to me. We're pregnant, eat right...worry about every little thing, the bay comes out and we tell a stranger to strap him down to cut a peice of his penis off??? Doesn't make sense to me at all.

s:! I am sorry you went through that, but your experience surely could help other little boys in the future since you can see it from both perspectives?

I would never get angry at someone who had it done but regrets it.

[Eben'sMama]

I think it's a normal, healthy human response to be deeply affected by the abuse of helpless children, and that really IS what we're talking about with circ. I feel the same way. I am always appalled when I see a little boy with a circ'd penis. I feel sad for him and angry at his parents. Can't help it!

[Lauren82]

Originally Posted by Eben'sMama

I think it's a normal, healthy human response to be deeply affected by the abuse of helpless children, and that really IS what we're talking about with circ. I feel the same way. I am always appalled when I see a little boy with a circ'd penis. I feel sad for him and angry at his parents. Can't help it!

Me too. and I find myself thinking about it a lot.

[Blarg]

*Big hugs!*

I think over time you'll develop the ability to put it out of your mind from time to time. Sometimes you just need a break, you know? But yeah... once you learn about circ, it never goes away.

So I guess... welcome to the club? And more hugs.

[bandgeek]

I know this won't be reassuring, but my DS is almost 2 and a half and it hasn't gotten any better, it's only gotten worse. I think about it everyday. Every time I see his intact penis, I think about all the babies that were circ'ed and I get upset. I lie awake some nights thinking about it and thinking about what I could do to help, what I could say, ect. I swear, every night, when I'm about to fall asleep, I see and hear the baby from that video screaming. I used to think there was something wrong with me, but I realized if I was in a country in Africa that routinely circ'ed the girls in my life, I'd probably feel the same and nobody would think that reaction to circ'ing GIRLS would be abnormal.

[Ajbaby]

Im so glad I am not the only one who cant stop thinking about this. Every boy I see I cant help but wonder if he was cut or not. To make matters worse, I work at a grocery store on the weekends so I see alot of little babies and pregnant women....

[Microsoap]

Originally Posted by Ajbaby

Im so glad I am not the only one who cant stop thinking about this. Every boy I see I cant help but wonder if he was cut or not. To make matters worse, I work at a grocery store on the weekends so I see alot of little babies and pregnant women....

You are not alone!

[titania8]

i can't tell you how normal i feel to know im not the only one thinking about this issue all day and night!! i sometimes feel like i think about it too much, i mean, my kids are intact, and i am happy about that everytime i see them. but my heart aches for all the boys i know that are circ'd and im scared for my future nephews (just have a feeling, but am formulating a plan!!). anyway, glad to know im not alone, but sorry, i know how it feels to not be able to shut your brain off.

[MommaLauraRN]

I know how you feel...I became educated several years ago and not a day goes by that I not think about it...each time I change my baby or give my boys a bath, I feel so blessed that I know what I know and that their little bodies are perfect and just how they are supposed to be. I don't like how I look at people and assume they are circumcisers. I don't like how I see people formula feeding and assume their son is also circumcised...I'm am so grateful that in my circle of friends, circumcision is NOT the norm! I too am curious about which celebrities and atheletes are intact or have intact children.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by MommaLauraRN

I know how you feel...I became educated several years ago and not a day goes by that I not think about it...each time I change my baby or give my boys a bath, I feel so blessed that I know what I know and that their little bodies are perfect and just how they are supposed to be. I don't like how I look at people and assume they are circumcisers. I don't like how I see people formula feeding and assume their son is also circumcised...I'm am so grateful that in my circle of friends, circumcision is NOT the norm! I too am curious about which celebrities and atheletes are intact or have intact children.

Here is a link to intact celebs http://www.circumstitions.com/Famous5.html

[hipumpkins]

I know this won't be reassuring, but my DS is almost 2 and a half and it hasn't gotten any better, it's only gotten worse. I think about it everyday. Every time I see his intact penis, I think about all the babies that were circ'ed and I get upset. I lie awake some nights thinking about it and thinking about what I could do to help, what I could say, ect. I swear, every night, when I'm about to fall asleep, I see and hear the baby from that video screaming. I used to think there was something wrong with me, but I realized if I was in a country in Africa that routinely circ'ed the girls in my life, I'd probably feel the same and nobody would think that reaction to circ'ing GIRLS would be abnormal.

I could have written that (except for the age part)

[Jillie]

I'll join the club too. I also cant stop thinking about it. The mentality of some people and their arguments is just appaling.

[magentamomma]

I have been experiencing the same thing and it has been made more painful by the fact that my sister had my nephew circumcised. She is incarcerated and her boy was born 5 weeks to the day after my dh so I took him in and nursed him. before his birth I begged my sister not to do it but she did so he would look like dad, be less horny be cleaner When I changed his first diaper and saw his bloody raw penis I burst into angry tears. In one diaper was my intact son,cooing as I changed his diapers and the other diaper was my nephews which did look mutilated despite what the pro mommas will claim. I was afraid to touch it because he screamed when did,and I hated to even look at it. He developed pus filled blisters all over his genital area because of the vaseline I had to keep on it to prevent it from adhering to his diaper. And all the while my own ds little winkie woozle just was. No drama or pain or procedures to follow. When my dd 's saw my nephews they could only ask whymommy why.It was heartbreaking

[vaughnmama]

Originally Posted by GoodMomma

I feel the same way and my DS is circ'ed. : I can't believe I once thought like a pro-circ! Now that I know about circ'ing, it all doesn't make sense to me. We're pregnant, eat right...worry about every little thing, the bay comes out and we tell a stranger to strap him down to cut a peice of his penis off??? Doesn't make sense to me at all.

My 2 little boys are circ'ed and I feel exactly the same way. :

[AmyC]

I think about it alot and I don't even have a son.

My husband has been in the hospital for a week, (he had his appendix out), and when he first was admitted the hospital was full to the gills so after his surgery, he ended up in an exam room in the maternity wing on the Women & Children floor. He was the only man (it was pretty funny ) Anywhere you went, you could overhear snippets of nurses talking about "breast," "offer the breast," "Breastfeeding...", "latch...."

So, I took a walk with our toddler at one point, just to give her a little room to roam. I saw a beautiful baby rolling down the hall in his bassinet, pushed slowly by his parents. I couldn't see his face but I saw his beautiful head with dark hair, and his tightly curled little fist. Totally, totally tugged at my heart. I was just looking at him and smiling, and smiling at the exhausted couple.

The nurse asked if they were bringing him to the nursery and the mom said Yeah. The nurse asked if she wanted to sit with him in there (they had some rockers and the lights were dim and I saw several moms sitting in there, spending time with lactation consultants or nurses, and their babes) and the mom said no. Then she said, "When's his circumcision going to be?"

I felt physically ill. Just filled with dread. For starters, he was born that morning.

I went through all these mental scenarios, wondering what I could say that would make them reconsider. But looking at them, I had the distinct feeling that it would be outrageous to say anything. Maybe something humorous? (100% of babies oppose circumcision.) The only thing I was thinking about was the sensitivity study, but there would have been nothing to show them and I was just this random woman standing there. And they both looked so dull and exhausted...

I don't know, I was so bummed. And then went and talked to my husband, and just couldn't let it go.

"His birthright! His birthright!" (I was also talking about the 2 cases of formula, opened, on the shelf underneath his bed. No, I know nothing of their circumstances, but I just kept thinking "It's his first day of life!" And I so strongly believe nursing and genital integrity is every baby's birthright.

I got all gung-ho about sending the sensitivity study information to OB offices and family practitioners in our area who deliver babies. "I'm going to do it!"

I don't know why I think about it so much (and neither does my husband.) I can't seem to get "closure" or whatever, even though I know what we would/wouldn't do if we ever have sons. But this issue just churns in me.

[Yulia_R]

AmyC, could you please give me a link to the sensitivity study?
I know that babies feel stronger pain, on the larger area and for longer period of time than adults, but I don't have the link to this study...
thanks,
yulia.

PS. I too just can't let it go. Every time I see a little boy I wonder of whether he is mutilated or not...