Toys....and picking them up.

[sunshine's mama]

Hey there..

How is everyone getting their little ones to pick up their toys???

Mine used to be so great at it...Now? She says, "Ok, mommy" and pulls more out...I've put alot of them up and away and we rotate them out so the quantity of what she has out isn't the problem....it's the putting them back up.

I went out and got some pretty baskets which she helped pick out color wise and babies go in red, animals in green, etc...and that worked for a bit but most of the time they are on the floor and not getting picked up...

I'm 6.5mo pregnant and this hasn't been a breeze of a pregnancy like it was with dd (she's 3)..I've been pretty sick and am still sick (almost 26wk) and not getting much help from daddy....but that's another post for another time.....LOL....I just can't get up and down and up and down to pick them up right now without seeing stars....

I feel like I am the Charlie Brown teacher talking to her.....stubborn like her dad...but the house is a wreck right now to begin with bc I can't keep up with the cleaning without some help (where the other post for other time comes in) and the toys...I just want to pack them all up right now....We are moving in a few weeks anyways so it needs done but I thought by leaving a few out it would help.....

I'm just very overwhelmed right now, trying to make it through the day and it's the toys that are driving me up the wall right now...she used to pick them up.....I miss that....

Thanks for the vent....I needed it very much...

[daekini]

We make clean up a part of the play... Do you have the baskets very close together? Sometimes it helps if you have certain play themes separated - dolls in one corner, animals in another. We don't play anything new until the work from the last activity is cleaned up. Sorting should be a fun activity, and that is what cleaning up is! We also have a routine - straight out of Positive Discipline - when dd gets up, she puts on her clothes and makes her bed (mind you - no one can tell it's been made up, but that's not the point) before breakfast.

I think consistency is key, I know it's hard when you're heavy with child, but try to make it fun, so that your dd won't equate work with something negative. Kids are perceptive and can tell when we aren't crazy about picking stuff up off the floor. I don't know if that helps any, but good luck!

[sunshine's mama]

Originally Posted by daekini

We make clean up a part of the play... Do you have the baskets very close together? Sometimes it helps if you have certain play themes separated - dolls in one corner, animals in another. We don't play anything new until the work from the last activity is cleaned up. Sorting should be a fun activity, and that is what cleaning up is! We also have a routine - straight out of Positive Discipline - when dd gets up, she puts on her clothes and makes her bed (mind you - no one can tell it's been made up, but that's not the point) before breakfast.

I think consistency is key, I know it's hard when you're heavy with child, but try to make it fun, so that your dd won't equate work with something negative. Kids are perceptive and can tell when we aren't crazy about picking stuff up off the floor. I don't know if that helps any, but good luck!

Thanks.

The baskets are spread out....the dollies go by the patio door, animals go by the toybox, dinos/fairies go by her play kitchen....

We do the same thing in the morning..she gets up, tosses her large play silk over her bed (it's become her sheet now that it's hot out) and puts on clothes. Then we eat some breakfast and go out to play. Alot of the time these days some toys are left out from last night and they aren't ones she wants to play with at the moment so I tell her I will help her pick them up if she starts and then we can play with what she wants but I get met with a brick wall and she takes out what she pleases and thus begins the cycle...

I just don't have the energy anymore to fight her on it and then when daddy gets home he's unhappy they aren't picked up but he doesn't offer to help me...This is the first month that I haven't spent so sick with the HG that I've enjoyed being out and playing with her.....but I do need them picked up.

I am going to try to organize things better when we move next month (mid month) and she'll have her own room then for her own things.....they won't all be out in the family room which she thinks is her room. Then I can just close the bedroom door

Thanks for the thoughts though.......

[termasan]

Give her an explanation over and over again why it is important that they be put away (whatever is true for you/your family--this is common space and we need to be respectful of others and I can't think with this much mess; I am not willing to play with you or your toys when they are in such disarray, it is unpleasant for me, I will help you pick them up if you ask me politely; etc.).

Then, after you've done that all day...don't clean them up for her.

What if you left them out? For a couple of days? Avoid the living room yourself? Let her and hubby hang in a toy filled living room? When she wants to play with you, remind her that you aren't willing/able to play in that kind of mess, etc. You'll happily help her clean them up, but you aren't hapy to play w/ them like this, etc.

I guess it depends on what kind of personality she has, it may work. At minimum, if you're packing for a move, I'd say the less you spend energy on keeping a fixed quantity of items tidy, the better off you are for all the packing and unpacking you have to do.

Oh, or you can tell her that since you're moving, every night that there are toys left out, you'll be packing them away until you move into your new place. :-) Saves you a lot of time and energy!

Good luck!

[daekini]

Hmmm... just another thought - is your dd old enough to understand a choice between her putting them away herself, and your putting them away for a loooonnng time if you're forced to do it for her? Of course, you've probably already tried that... but if not, maybe give it a shot. Tell her that if you have to clean them up, she won't be able to play with them the next day.

And as the pp said, you could just leave them out til the move... after all, everything will be different there and you'll have to start over.

Eureka! Why not wait to work on this til you move??? Then you could say, "This is our nice new house, and we need to be mindful and keep it tidy. In our new house, we always put things away when we're done playing with them." You could start drilling this in and repeat it like a mantra now, so that when you move the new routine won't be a surprise.

[addictedtocloth!]

we make clean up a part of playtime as well. my kids know that if they dont help clean up they wont be playing next time. tough for awhile but it works. i only ask them to pick up some of the things.

[MommyDOK]

Just wanted to add that I have problems w/ my 4 year old. Today while she was cleaning she asked, "Why do I have to do all the cleaning?"

WHere do they get this stuff from???

[sunshine's mama]

Originally Posted by termasan

Give her an explanation over and over again why it is important that they be put away (whatever is true for you/your family--this is common space and we need to be respectful of others and I can't think with this much mess; I am not willing to play with you or your toys when they are in such disarray, it is unpleasant for me, I will help you pick them up if you ask me politely; etc.).

Then, after you've done that all day...don't clean them up for her.

What if you left them out? For a couple of days? Avoid the living room yourself? Let her and hubby hang in a toy filled living room? When she wants to play with you, remind her that you aren't willing/able to play in that kind of mess, etc. You'll happily help her clean them up, but you aren't hapy to play w/ them like this, etc.

I guess it depends on what kind of personality she has, it may work. At minimum, if you're packing for a move, I'd say the less you spend energy on keeping a fixed quantity of items tidy, the better off you are for all the packing and unpacking you have to do.

Oh, or you can tell her that since you're moving, every night that there are toys left out, you'll be packing them away until you move into your new place. :-) Saves you a lot of time and energy!

Good luck!

I have left them out the past few days...DH grumbles about it but do you think he bends down to pick one up?? NOPE..he just moves them aside with his foot so he can sit on the floor and play his Wii or Playstation...Sometimes I think he's 10yo and not 35 in that respect...So she sees him not picking anything up and it's the circle that I am in right now....

She has a very strong willed, very extroverted personality. VERY!!! So that is part of the issue...LOL....but I love her and her strong willed personality oodles (just not so much the strong willed part....right now at least...)

I'll try the suggestions you stated in the beginning of your reply...I am boxing some of the stuff in the cubby's today bc she hasn't touched those in awhle and DH is taking the cubby's to the new place today I think...

Originally Posted by daekini

Hmmm... just another thought - is your dd old enough to understand a choice between her putting them away herself, and your putting them away for a loooonnng time if you're forced to do it for her? Of course, you've probably already tried that... but if not, maybe give it a shot. Tell her that if you have to clean them up, she won't be able to play with them the next day.

And as the pp said, you could just leave them out til the move... after all, everything will be different there and you'll have to start over.

Eureka! Why not wait to work on this til you move??? Then you could say, "This is our nice new house, and we need to be mindful and keep it tidy. In our new house, we always put things away when we're done playing with them." You could start drilling this in and repeat it like a mantra now, so that when you move the new routine won't be a surprise.

She's not quite old enough to understand that..We've tried it and she's just like whatever after being upset for a few minutes..I have this baby over here or this dino over here....and moves on forgetting about what we put up...THe idea of waiting to work on it until we move is a great idea..I just don't think I can handle another 4-5wks of the mess in the family room.....but if she gets a few things picked up and put where they go I would be happy. I have never asked her to clean up everything at once....she's just not old enough for that. Now, her 7yo stepsister is and it's taken us a few years to even get her to pick up her things when she is done but that's only bc she doesn't have to do any of that at her mom's house...her mom does it all for her (According to her mom and her) bc she's a kid and well......grrrr....LOL


I did put a bunch of her play kitchen stuff in a cloth crate I got to store the food and such in the other day...She was not happy about that but I was tired of stepping on the play food and she's lost some of the wool food around the house...it all needed in one place.....stepping on a hard hot dog and bun at 2am on your way to the bathroom is NOT FUN....LOL....She wasn't happy about it for the longest time bc it's her favorite toys right now but I did talk to her about how they have just been on the floor, she wasn't playing on them, just walking all over them and she couldn't do that...SO..she could either help me pick them up and play with them later on OR I could just put them up and she wouldn't play with them for a bit bc we were going to move them to the new place......She started throwing a tantrum so I scooted across the floor and put them up. She asked about them this morning and I reminded her and she said OH, and went abut her business....

UGH.......I know it won't be like this forever.....I just feel like I am the only one trying to deal with it in my house on top of everything else and that's making it harder......MAYBE having her OWN space in the new place will help???

THanks so much for the thoughts...I appreciate them greatly!!!!! I've tried chatting with friends about it but they just pick up their kids toys and don't ask their kids to do it....say it's easier....Yeah, it is but......

[octobermom]

I don't or hardly bother.... : Why? well umm the truth please don't be mad umm yea okay well..... I gave birth to a neat freak : seriously she can play hard she not at all afraid to get messy but she wants order all toys a=must be put back just so her room has to look just so her bed has to be just so. Living up to her standards is hard

[pinksprklybarefoot]

I have been trying hard to make toy clean-up a part of the bedtime routine (It's a new concept). It seems to work when we remember to do it that way.

We are also *pretty* good about picking stuff up before we switch to a new activity. Soon-to-be Stepdaughter is not that fond of playing alone; even when she is playing by herself she is in the room with us narrating what is going on to us. So she will sometimes announce that she is planning to switch activities. That is a good time to have a quick clean-up. She likes to do activities that adults have to help set up (play-doh, paint), so that is a good opportunity to have her put away what she was doing before we set up the next activity. Lastly, before dinner is also a good time to put things away.

But I am on a "I'm not the MAID" kick right now, and unbeknownst to my family I am trying to train them to clean up after themselves.