not baby wise again...

[nikihodges]

some history-we used baby wise methods with our eldest after he was about 1 year...he began waking up at all hours crawling around the house etc....he is very unsure about himself and i think its from this baby wise---so then with the middle child we co-slept and bf for about a year then it was back to try baby wise and i just didn't feel good about that method, i can't remember how he ended up out of our bed i think that dh convinced me to babywise anyway we now have a 4mo and my dh wasn't entirley happy about the pregnancy but dh i fed up with the night time heating up of ebm when i work...so dh wants to baby wise with this one and I DON"T FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD! is there a better way to encourage a schedual (sp?) please help with any ideas:

[LynnS6]

My two suggestions:

The No Cry Sleep Solution

Sleepless in America

[Swirly]

I personally think it is unacceptable to do anything to *try* to make a 4-month-old sleep through the night. I think they need their breast milk very frequently, even at night, and that's all there is to it. Can you perhaps educate your husband about how breast milk is best for the babe, and that it is metabolized more quickly, so they need to eat more frequently when they are tiny babies? I hate it that you have to work at night, leavinga possibly resentful parent home who might resist doing what is best for the baby, but maybe it would help him to give him some education on the benefits of breast milk and the damage done to the babies (emotionally and physically) by cry-it-out (which is the only way BabyWise followers usually achieve their goal of scheduling feedings and sleep).

[LoveBeads]

What exactly are you referring to when you say "Babywise methods"?

There was a lot advocated in that book so I'm not sure what you mean.

[thebee321]

Originally Posted by LoveBeads

What exactly are you referring to when you say "Babywise methods"?

There was a lot advocated in that book so I'm not sure what you mean.

I was wondering the same, but didn't want to appear dense! I know a bit about BabyWise (mostly the extreme things causing failure to thrive...but I've heard they toned it down?) but not enough to understand what methods you are considering using.

Like, when your oldest got up and crawled around the house at night when he was one, what did you start doing, specifically?

At first glance, my reaction is if you think Babywise methods may have caused problems in your oldest, please do everything in your power not to go ahead with these methods for your 4 month old!!!

I believe all the sleep experts agree on no CIO/sleep training until 6 months. I agree with the above poster that "No Cry Sleep Solution" may help. I've not read Sleepless in America.

Hope you can give us more information!

[mom22girls]

I'm a schedule person - oh yes I am. I am also TOTALLY against CIO and the even worse things that Babywise advocates (if you think the book is bad, I have a BW "survivor" friend that tells me HORROR stories about seminars and DVDs) anyway, I think the best way to encourage a schedule (I really prefer the word 'routine') is to be on one. And the onus is on you (not the child) to keep it up. So, if you have a one year old who gets up at night, rock him back to sleep/ or lie down with him (whatever it takes). If he wants to play, you play dead and rub his back... A 4 month old should be fed on demand. Too bad if DH doesn't like heating up EBM, he's a parent, it's his job. How would he like to go hungry???

NCSS is a good read, but I really think 4mos is too young (really, I think under a year is too young) and I do believe that sometimes no matter what you do, you just have a bad sleeper. What I have found works best (and I have a really BAD sleeper) is to keep things consistent during the day, but especially at night: bath, breasts, bed(rocking or patting or whatever gentle way). When 4mo wakes: breasts, bed (rocking or patting or whatever gentle way). I've been in the rocking chair for hours before, but I was dead set on a routine. You don't necessarily have to co-sleep if DH is against it, but like NCSS advocates, you should be consistant.

Good luck!

[swampangel]

I'm not extreme on these issues, but I do think that a 4mo needs to be fed on demand...it's way too early to sleep train. I wouldn't train at all unless it works for everyone, but I definitely wouldn't try it this young. I would talk to you dh about why the baby needs to eat so frequently. It is very hard, but as you know it gets better.

On the nights that you are home, can you take over and let dh sleep through? Maybe if he knew he had a restful night's sleep coming, he would be more willing to get up at night when you're at work.

Good luck.