"Stop Crying" - Page 3

[The4OfUs]

Originally Posted by mom4emnxani

By the way, I am wondering what happened to my easy going sweet little girl. What is with this screaming meemie behaviour? Is it being 3?

Yes. Yes, it is. :

Seriously though. I also have no problem with my kids expressing their protest or dissatisfaction in situations. I DO have a problem with them holding the people around them "captive" to an overly explosive outburst. Soooo, I model and teach perspective to them. Not in an "oh, just get over it kid, life's not fair" kind of way, but in a "I understand you're disappointed. That's OK. You've got the resources to get over it move forward, let me help you" kind of way, to process the whole thing instead of being held hostage by the big emotions - I imagine big emotions like that can be scary. Soo, while I don't tell my DS to stop crying, I will point out situations where he can get over dissapointments and figure out other solutions and help him with that (which sometiems involves "I can't help you until you calm down a little and we can figure this out"), or that if he needs to just really let it all hang out he can go into another room until he has it all out and come back when he feels better. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. He's free to feel and express himself, but he's not free to damage other people's hearing in the process. Thus far it seems to be working pretty well.

[3lilmonsters]

The other day my 2.5yo was crying over EVERY. LITTLE. THING.

That person looked at me!
I dropped my rock!
I wanted the peanut butter on the top and the jelly on the bottom!

So finally I said to him "baby, I need you to stop crying because it's driving me crazy!" : I know it wasn't the greatest thing to say, but I was seriously starting to dream about having another, just because it seems that the hospital stay with him was the last time I expirienced peace Guess what he said...

"Well I need to cry, because I'm upset!"

[mcng]

This reminds me of something funny (well now anyways) we lived near a funeral home, and my mom always said that there is where people go to cry so if I was crying she would leave me there so I can cry all I want, everytime we passed that place I just started to cry but tried so hard not to, anyways Im glad I can laugh about it now especially when I pass by that place, and yeah i have asked my kids to stop crying plenty of times but not when they are hurt or whatever but when the crying has going on for long enough past the stage where I can offer comfort they usually stop tho and I dont threat or reward I do redirect many of times like lets go take a walk or whatever, but yeah sometimes they dont even realize how long they have been crying they jsut keep going and going .

[WaturMama]

Interesting thread!

When I first started reading I thought I'd never asked my son not to cry, but then I realized that wasn't true. Sometimes when my son wants to nurse he does a whining/crying combo. I think he just knows that is a way he will get to nurse, and I've said, "You don't have to cry, you can just say, 'I want some mama milk.'" I've just said it once and left it at that. Sometimes it helps, sometimes not, but maybe it will sink in.

Usually if he's crying and I nurse him he feels better, but there are occasions when I don't want to nurse him (like when I'm super hungry and making myself some food). Sometimes I'll tell him other ways he could calm himself. It rarely works, but I hope on some level he's starting to learn a catalog of ways to calm himself.

I haven't faced the fake crying yet.

Once I heard someone say to her 3 y.o. daughter, "It's okay to cry, but no one wants to hear it." That seemed like a confusing message. I can see the idea that crying is something for private (which I don't agree with), but it wasn't delivered lovingly. It would have been pretty confrontational, but when I think of this story I fantasize saying, "I don't mind hearing it."

[kalisis]

Oh, I've said "quit crying" to DS at 4 AM two weeks postpartum. It was totally out of exhaustion and I just couldn't take it anymore. With that said, it's not in my normal box of parenting 'tools.'

Although, I will say, "I cannot understand you if you're whining/crying. I really want to help you get what you want, so when you're finished, please let me know and we can work together to find what it is you need (or something along those lines)." That's for when he's whiny and I absolutely cannnot understand what he's asking for through all the whine...

But yeah, I also heard, Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about during my childhood too.

I know better and I try, try, try my hardest to do better.