Well. After going over 24 hours with hardcore contrax and already being 42 weeks and 3-4 days, I just lost it. Called my mother, which wasn't that great of an idea in hindsight--between her and my dad's badgering/fearmongering, my kids' fears, my DP being beside himself, and even my ex getting worried, I allowed myself to be taken to the hospital. Got there just past midnite, of course they didn't know I was coming and had no prior prenatal/medical data on me, etc. They measured my belly and insisted I was only 33cm, and then used intimidation/fear tactics to try and make me stay and agree to anything. They wanted to draw blood, start IVs etc etc, and I lost it even more--got angry, they got angry back, and I bet they were about to call the authorities on me because I walked out. Stood in the hallway crying for a minute or two, then walked back in and said "ok, fine. do whatever". I was a shaking, terrified, nervous wreck.
They tried to start IVs/take blood from me and kept missing the veins cause I was so scared. Then they take my blood pressure and oh imagine that, it's elevated
They brought an ultrasound tech in and did a pretty long u/s on me, wanting to analyze it for baby's health since I was supposedly 42 weeks and measuring 33. Then my saving grace came--they wanted the blood and u/s analyzed before they'd do anything more with me, so they left the room. About 30 min later I knew I had to push, and by the time the nurse came in Claire was already about to be born.
The next few minutes were hellish--they brought in about 7 different strangers, bright floodlights, antiseptic something all over, had my shit hanging out for everyone in the room to see. They completely ignored my screams of protest that I didn't want to be flat on my back, didn't want my feet in stirrups, etc, and just shoved me around. At least they didn't give me an episiotomy, but I bet that was only because *they* didn't have time.
Claire was born with the bag of waters still intact, at 3:53am on the 27th...7 pounds, 11 ounces, 20 inches long, a perfectly normal, healthy 42 week baby. She was a bit blue, and of course they whisked her across the room for testing and god knows what for a good 10 minutes before I could even hold her. They cut they cord as I was yelling at them to wait, and for the third time I missed seeing my placenta.
They basically treated us like a worst-case-scenario-no-prenatal-care--irresponsible-unplanned pregnancy, didn't even look at my meticulously written birth plan or my detailed records of prenatal care. I had to stay 24 hours at a minimum, but at least I got to transfer to a different floor. They tested mine and Claire's blood for all kinds of things, mostly I think they were concerned about not knowing my GBS status. By this morning however, both the doctor who looked after me and the pedi for Claire seemed human and treated me better. They let us go home around 10am this morning, after assuring that both of us were perfectly healthy (imagine that).
Oddly enough, this was the only labor I've ever had that wasn't artifically brought on/augmented, so this child is the first of mine that got to pick her own birthday. May 27th happens to be DP's late mother's birthday, which is deeply special for us. Claire looks just like her daddy too
I feel really good physically, am taking advil to head off the afterpains, and trying to sleep when Claire does. She's got her latch-on just about right and wanted to nurse all night long last nite.
The hospital has an "all-babies-in-the-nursery-overnight" policy, but they *let me* keep her in my room most of the night. By 5am however, I was beyond exhausted and the night shift nurse offered to take her for me for "a little while" so I could get some rest. I liked her, and I knew her shift ended at 7am, so I thought we had agreed that she'd bring Claire back to me no later than when her shift was up. Yet another mistake on my part--I didn't get her back until 9:30am, and by that time I was livid all over again. I did have a nice conversation with the LC after that, but I am quite sure they all thought I was Ms.CrazyB!tchMom.
In some ways it was the perfect birth, my most natural labor yet and no drugs yet again (well unless you count the pitocin they forced on me for the placenta's delivery
. In other ways it was a birth from hell, something that will give me nightmares and something I dearly hope to never have to go thru again. I have learned a lot about myself--about being too perfectionistic and taking on too much, about not accepting or recognizing help when I need it the most... I don't really want to write/talk about it much more--it's very painful right now, and so much easier to focus on my beautiful new child instead of the details of her birth.
Thanks for your support everyone
, my midwife, and after yet another huge emotional breakdown I decided to just QUIT. Quit all the natural induction methods, quit wondering about my bishop's score (a 20 last I checked 
), and I started trying to focus on what I already "know" intuitively--that this babe is safe and healthy and that my body is going to do what's necessary on its own.
, and I finally got curious and checked my cervix last nite, and it's almost 100% effaced and at a *6*.
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I hope this is it for you too! Sending you lots of good labor vibes!
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: and wicked jealous...
