1y/o hitting hard...what to do?

[LittleE'sMom]

Clearly it's not a case of any real discipline of any kind--he doesn't realize he's being rough, but seriously, he punched me in the nose the other day and I got an awful headache!

We're trying to teach him the sign for "gentle" and I always show him how to pat the kitty gently instead of swatting at her, but he doesn't often get it.

I know babies smack and swat at eachother and the babies in his play group do this, but I'm worried that his strength is going to hurt one of the other babies (not to mention my poor nose! LOL)

Any tactics you've found successful for babies this age, just to teach him to be a bit softer in his approach without stifling his energy? Other people i've asked have told me to put him in time out (seriously??!!!)

Thanks!

[mavery]

We had more of a problem with biting than hitting, but similar principles apply I think. These are things we did when ds bit or hit us (one or more in any given instance):

- immediately offer something fun and appropriate to bite or hit, and (especially for hitting) model how to use it (pillow, soft toy, toy hammer on a tool bench, etc.)
- gently hold child's hands for a minute and then move on to something new
- put the child down in a safe spot, say "Ouch" and go to tend to the injury (loss of parent's attention is a fine natural consequence)

What we did depended on what we could figure out about the trigger. Hitting when ds was hungry or tired and wound-up just merited an "ouch, that hurts, here, I'm going to sit you in the chair while I get your pajamas" or whatever. Hitting as a kind of play or experimentation got some kind of redirection to a toy or pillow. Hitting in a situation where there was no real change of activity available (like, ds riding in a babycarrier on my back when we were out on a hike) was responded to with hand-holding and some kind of new distraction.

ETA with trying to just make the touch more gentle, I think all you can do is keep modeling. At this age their muscular control (not to mention impulse control or conceptual understanding) is often not good enough to get them to reliably be gentle.

[misseks]

I often say, "Gentle Hands, gentle voice." Yelling is for the playground, hitting is for baseballs.

I take my dc's hands in mine and show them what gentle is - ie rubbing one of her hands on top of her other hand.

Also, if your babe wants to swings his arms, take him to an open area and swing your arms, and let him do the same - might help get the energy out!