Well I spoke up in my Unitarian Church today, during a period called Joys and Sorrows where members can speak to the whole congregation.
All morning and during the entire walk to church the circumcision of my boys was on my mind, making me cry, and I needed some peace, so when I arrived I wrote these words down:
"I am mourning the loss of both my sons' foreskins. The anger, resentment, and guilt that I feel torture me. I wish that I could go back and make different decisions. I hope someday my boys will forgive me. And I wish that I could find some peace today."
When it was my turn to speak. I started to shake and tear up and the words wouldn't come. So I handed the slip of paper to the reverend standing next to me and said "can you read this." So he did, quite clearly, while I stood and cried.
After the service the comments were mixed. Some; in fact most, were supportive and comforting and encouraged me to not beat myself up, and asked good questions. Some were curious. One older lady said isn't it good for cleanliness and preventing cancer? Some were defensive. Two different men tried to be encouraging by telling me that at least I have given my boys some protection from HIV/AIDS by having them circumcised. They didn't seem to listen when I said that is not true. They went on to try to cite some research in Africa
An older lady first asked me "Does this have anything to do with being anti-Jewish?" 
: I told her it has nothing to do with that. Then she went on to tell me that she has a background in psychology and that I should never let my boys feel my pain and sorrow from doing this and that I should NOT tell them that I made a mistake. 
What kind of f-ing psychology is that!
But the good that came out of this was that I sparked some conversation. The nursery director overhead someone trying to comfort me about it being a cultural thing and asked what we were talking about. Although she had circumcised her 4 year old, she was VERY open to new information.
She said she kind of felt like it wasn't hers to take away, but that they did it because Daddy was circ-ed, but that now she always listens to new info for the sake of being a good mom.
If this opened up the issue in the minds of at least a few people...and maybe in the future, it will indirectly protect one more baby's foreskin...then that thought brings me peace
All morning and during the entire walk to church the circumcision of my boys was on my mind, making me cry, and I needed some peace, so when I arrived I wrote these words down:
"I am mourning the loss of both my sons' foreskins. The anger, resentment, and guilt that I feel torture me. I wish that I could go back and make different decisions. I hope someday my boys will forgive me. And I wish that I could find some peace today."
When it was my turn to speak. I started to shake and tear up and the words wouldn't come. So I handed the slip of paper to the reverend standing next to me and said "can you read this." So he did, quite clearly, while I stood and cried.
After the service the comments were mixed. Some; in fact most, were supportive and comforting and encouraged me to not beat myself up, and asked good questions. Some were curious. One older lady said isn't it good for cleanliness and preventing cancer? Some were defensive. Two different men tried to be encouraging by telling me that at least I have given my boys some protection from HIV/AIDS by having them circumcised. They didn't seem to listen when I said that is not true. They went on to try to cite some research in Africa
An older lady first asked me "Does this have anything to do with being anti-Jewish?" : I told her it has nothing to do with that. Then she went on to tell me that she has a background in psychology and that I should never let my boys feel my pain and sorrow from doing this and that I should NOT tell them that I made a mistake. What kind of f-ing psychology is that!But the good that came out of this was that I sparked some conversation. The nursery director overhead someone trying to comfort me about it being a cultural thing and asked what we were talking about. Although she had circumcised her 4 year old, she was VERY open to new information.
She said she kind of felt like it wasn't hers to take away, but that they did it because Daddy was circ-ed, but that now she always listens to new info for the sake of being a good mom.If this opened up the issue in the minds of at least a few people...and maybe in the future, it will indirectly protect one more baby's foreskin...then that thought brings me peace
