Can a story filled with challenges be a positive story? I consider my experience both positive and successful, though I was only able to continue for about six months. I just think it's wise to go into it with your eyes wide open, because I don't think adoptive nursing is for the faint of heart.
We had 4 weeks notice that we were getting ds. I did not want to take any medications, so I simply pumped every three hours for 20 minutes w/ a hospital grade double pump. I am one whose body did not respond well to inducing lactation, but I have never been pg so maybe that had something to do with it. I did not see a single drop of milk until ds was 4 weeks old (he was placed at 2 days). I don't think I ever made more than about 1 oz a day. I did take fenugreek at different intervals, but it has the side effect of lowering blood sugar, which it did in me, and I could not continue it. I also took blessed thistle and marshmallow root.
I nursed using the lact-aid supplementer. It's a hassle at first, but you get used to it, and it really becomes second nature for most babies. Ds took to nursing like a champ. I was hardly sore at all, which at the time I thought was great, but now I think that he had a weak suck.
I think if ds hadn't had problems including colic, and extreme distractibility/activity, we would be nursing to this day. From about six weeks on, we dealt with back-arching, popping on and off the breast, and a general inability on his part to relax and nurse. I think in a normal nursing situation, these problems could have been overcome. We did many things to try and overcome them, including a visit to a naturopath for therapeutic massage. But when you combine problems that would be severe for a bio mom nursing with the inconveniences of inducing lactation (using supplementers, not making any milk at all), it seems almost insurmountable. Not being able to stay on the breast is challenging enough as it is, but when you have to reposition the lact-aid tube every time this happens, it's definitely an added stress.
Anyway, I don't want to go too much into all the problems, but when he was four months I finally knew that it would never get better, and that for his sake we needed to go to a bottle. But I continued to comfort nurse him with the lact-aid for another 6 weeks, until he stopped nursing on his own accord. I don't know if it was a nursing strike or truly weaning, but since he would stay at the breast for 1-2 minutes anyway I decided it was weaning.
I consider our story successful because I did the best I possibly could. I know that. I would nurse another adopted baby in a second, even with a toddler running around. I think you need to have lots of support, though. I think you need to have realistic expectations and to be aware of potential challenges. It does take a lot of stamina. There is a balance between keeping the focus on the bf'ing relationship and not expecting to make too much milk, and yet IMO you have to focus some on milk production because your chances of having a successful experience are so much greater when there is more milk. That's just me. I feel strongly that if I could have made even 5-6 oz a day instead of only one, that we'd still be nursing today.
Nursing was an experience I'll always treasure. I get misty-eyed when I think about it, and I still have poignant moments when I wish I could put my little boy to the breast. For me, it really helped me feel like a mother to this little baby who was basically a stranger. I didn't fall in love at first sight when we met him, and I also was in for a shock when he turned out to be a boy instead of a girl. I was a little disappointed about that, and I really feel that it was nursing that bridged the gap between those disappointing feelings and the great bond that we have today. He is VERY attached, and it just thrills me to death to think that he actually likes me that much!
now i'm down to 3, and i've learned how to keep them in the fridge before i clean them, so it's easier and a few other tricks... i would recommend though at leaste 6 if you've got a newborn - you'll have your hands full enough with a toddler on top of it. ok, i think i'm rambling now, so if you want more details or have questions, let me know! best wishes!!!
