uh oh, DH wants to have the talk TONIGHT!!

[Maple Leaf Mama]

I have that one good video of a circ. It made me cry my eyes out. But what else can I throw at him?
He wants to be well researched. I told him last night it will happen over my dead body and that if he can't/won't watch a video-and won't be there with the baby when it happens-then it won't be at all.
He's a hard ass on the outside, but a big softie on the inside and I know he'll be upset when he sees the video.
But he also thinks it's more healthy--aids, STD's etc.
He also said he doesn't want "Nemo" to be traumatised when he and daddy look different.
I asked if he knew if his dad was. He didn't know.
His Dad is a 70+ yo from England. So he wouldn't be. And DH isn't traumatised. I really shot down that argument and he knows it!
OH jeez, help-I didn't expect the talk TONIGHT!!

[Ajbaby]

There is a post on here with the new research that the langerhans cells on foreskin prevents HIV....

[Nathan1097]

Hi!

If you want to do some quick looking through my site here is the link: http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/

Pretty much the healthy thing is a long-time excuse passed down from generation to generation- every fear of the day is cited as something curable by circ.

As for the boys matching him, my boys' father is circ'd while the boys remain intact. They have never noticed except to say how big daddy's is. Their father's father is intact- never a problem from either side! I really should have him write something up to this effect... Anyway, now that my eldest is 9, he has been told about circ. but even so- once my children were told about circ, they all reacted similarly- with shock and disbelief! Even my daughter. She said it was crazy, basically. If you are not brought up in a circumcising mentality, then of course, you will think it is absurd!

Speaking of softies on the inside, my ex was that way, too. He helped me put the video on my site. (The link that says "VIEW VIDEO" in blue.) We manually edited VHS-to-8mm tape at the time and then used a program to make it a realplayer file 8 years ago- not as simple as it would be today! It took quite a bit to get it "just right", and in this, my then-dh commented, "Anybody who can watch this and still do it..." This was the same person who, initially, agreed with me to get our son-to-be cut in 1997, based on "I am and I'm fine..." A little education goes a long way; a little experience, a lot further!

[huggerwocky]

By the time sexually transmitted diseases become an issue the boy would be old enough to decide on his own.I really don't see ANY argument that could be used against this argument.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

HIV links:

http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...Statement.html
http://www.circumstitions.com/HIV.html
http://www.cirp.org/library/disease/HIV/ http://www.cochrane.org/reviews/en/ab003362.html

And remember to that if circ prevented AIDS then the USA wouldnt have such a high rate of infection.

[rmzbm]

Uggh, nak - so brief. Good links above - just wanted to add this:
When I finally decided circ. was wrong I had to convince my DH as well. I wasn't PRO circ - just dumb. DH WAS pro circ. I changed his mind in 1 sitting, and he was UNHAPPY in the beginning. My point is simply don't go in thinking it's impossible! Good luck!

[Blarg]

This is a fairly good overview of circumcision and why it's bad: http://wreckingboy.livejournal.com/318545.html

[Calidris]

Originally Posted by Maple Leaf Mama

But he also thinks it's more healthy--aids, STD's etc.
He also said he doesn't want "Nemo" to be traumatised when he and daddy look different.

Just on these 2 points, even if circ does reduce the transmission of AIDS somewhat (and I don't think it does, that particular study seemed rather flawed) but even if it reduces transmission slightly 1) it can't be very effective, cause the US is mostly circ'ed and they have a high HIV rate. 2) believing in that study could lead men to be a bit more careless than they would otherwise be (oh, I'm safe, cause I'm circ'ed). For something with the repercussions of AIDS, I'd rather my (hypothetical) son grows up learning sexual responsibility rather than trusting in something that is little more than myth.

And with regards to looking like Dad, little boy's penises look nothing like men's, circ'ed or not, if he is aware of anything, it will be size difference, not presence/absence of a foreskin. And by the age when he might notice a difference, he probably won't be seeing his dad naked very much again.

[iamama]

Originally Posted by Maple Leaf Mama

when he and daddy look different.

When seeing a fathers penis I'd think some boys would notice the pubic hair first...he will certainly look different unless he waxes down there till ds hits puberty so they look more the same.

[Yulia_R]

studies...

new studies published in the British Journal of Urology International " Circumcision Cuts Penis Sensitivity"
http://www.nocirc.org/touch-test/touchtest.php

[momazon4]

My H(at the time) didn't come around even with the research so I said, "OK, after you cut your little finger off...": Seriously though, I said if sonny wanted to get it done as an adult, he certainly could. I just strongly felt WE had no right to get part of his little body sliced off...

I'm wondering if the as an adult arguement might help because you're not saying, "No, never" but that it should be HIS choice.

[Yulia_R]

here is a very good post "I'm pregnant"; some pregnant girl had posted it a while ago and she got TONS of responses with alot of good info and links. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=604463

[Tofu the Geek]

You say he wants to be well researched. Then tell him that you would like him to come to the talk with the research that proves circumcision is beneficial for your son. Your son is born with a foreskin, so the person wanting to chop it off needs to be the person to prove that it is the right thing to do. I honestly don't think it's reasonable for him to expect you to do all of the research.

A few things could then happen:
1. he does the research and realizes that he is 100% wrong about circumcision and has come to that conclusion on his own
2. he comes to you with a bunch of false, outdated research which you can then take a couple of days to come up with the counter research to show to him
3. he comes up with accurate information on circ, but tells you he still wants to do it.

#3 is the most dangerous as it's hard to use logic to convince someone who is being illogical. Let's hope for #1, best case, and #2, worst case. #1 takes no effort on your part, other than a huge hug for our husband and telling him how glad you are that you married someone so intelligent.

I am confused though, you said something about not allowing it if he wouldn't be there with the baby when it happened. This kind of sounds like you'd allow it if he was there with the baby? I hope I misunderstood.

Does your user name imply you are in Canada? If so, the last province to cover RIC was Manitoba and I think even they recently removed it from the services that are covered. So, there aren't any Canadian provinces that cover RIC. You have to request it and pay for it yourself, which means that it is not a necessity (else it would be covered by health care).

[calngavinsmom]

Hey there. Are you in Canada(guessing from your username)? If you are, the latest states from Canada are less than 10% http://www.courtchallenge.com/refs/s...hi-2005-e.html

Not a great reason not to circ, but the reasons behind why the rates are so low are great reasons not to circ. CPS recomends against it, all provinces deem it to be "cosmetic" surgery are no longer cover the cost, and more and more docs and hospitals are refusing to even preform them.

Not to mention the pain, the risk, and the lifelong sexual damage. Check out the web resources sticky for some great info, all organized for easy perusal.

My siggy has some good links too. Check out the "scars". I bet when some of these parents signed up for junior to "look like Daddy" they never expected that their son would end up looking less like Daddy than before the circumcision

Good luck and stay strong Momma!
Take care,
Tara

[jesrox]

My fiance was very wary about not circing, due to being from a "mainstream" household and being circ'd himself- also all of his friend's sons had it done. We made the agreement that our son wouldn't be circ'd, and if he wanted the procedure done as an adult I would pay for it. I think that is a fair agreement personally- I would not mind paying for a circ if my child wanted that and researched it himself.

Good luck!! Stay strong and be a protective momma!!!

[Nathan1097]

Originally Posted by jesrox

My fiance was very wary about not circing, due to being from a "mainstream" household and being circ'd himself- also all of his friend's sons had it done. We made the agreement that our son wouldn't be circ'd, and if he wanted the procedure done as an adult I would pay for it. I think that is a fair agreement personally- I would not mind paying for a circ if my child wanted that and researched it himself.

Good luck!! Stay strong and be a protective momma!!!

Wow. Congrats on your recent engagement!