You hit the nail on the head with the comment about what you are missing out on living in a city (not that you can't have a happy and healthy life in the city!): people seek Waldorf schools because they feel something missing, especially when they have very young children, in modern life. You can cultivate that in your life no matter where your children go to school, and in fact do your child and others a service by being a member of the broader community rather than only associating with people who share your views or a narrow common vision.
I just did a puppet show for my son's fifth birthday, and for various reasons this was a slapdash production! None of my guests were Waldorf people. I knew how awkward and provincial my show was compared to some of the magical Waldorf puppet shows I've seen (and done, as a teacher). But the parents and my little guests were thrilled and impressed. To the children, a puppet show is a puppet show. It was every bit as magical, and to the parents it was neat I would do such a thing at a simple little party. Then the children made their own fuzzy sock puppets from that kit you can buy at Target with self-stick felt bits and eyes (hardly Waldorf!) and without being prompted put on their own "puppet show." The results for the children are the same, and no one is worried about whether the "gesture" of the story I chose is appropriate for four-and five-year-olds or upset that the felt is not 100% wool, or that there's some sinister spiritual implication in that Josephine put several eyes on her puppet.
Hopefully you will still be able to hang out with your friends and be a part of the broader community without joining in their endeavor...unfortunately in my own experience starting or participating in a Waldorf school can bring out the worst in people- it certainly did in me.
In looking for a school for my own little boy now, I wistfully remember how enthusiastic I was about moving so my daughter, ten years ago, could attend a Waldorf kindergarten. Nowhere is the fable of "The Emperor's New Clothes" more evident than in Waldorf education.
Once you get used to the aesthetic of a Waldorf school, other schools can seem cluttered and jarring (and many of them are). But when our first experiment with Waldorf went wrong, and my first-grader visited a public Montessori school, she filled up like a plant getting water when she saw all the *stuff* in the classroom. I find Montessori schools could use a little dose of Waldorf decorating, but the point is there's a balance between tidy and cluttered- and cluttered isn't necessarily bad. I was just considering this the other day when my father-in-law, whose wife is a *meticulous* housekeeper, privately commented to me that he loved the clutter in our house, that it meant that people lived and worked and read and cooked there. You are quite right in your perception that the material environment at a Waldorf school is rigid.
:This is a huge red flag in any school.
Our experience was very short but it was enough to be annoying. I really feel for those of you that put so much time and love into the movement only to be so hurt by it.
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