mini-vent (toddler nursing)

[wombatclay]

I've just got to get this out and I know DH wouldn't understand...

I think I'm going to toss my DD out a window! Off and on (mostly during periods of rapid hormonal shifting) during pregnancy my nipples have been AMAZINGLY painful and sore. DD is two and nurses 3-4 times a day and some days it's horrible...like my nipples are being ripped off and rubbed with salt or something. I never lost my day supply all the way, and there's been plenty of colostrum for a month or so now so it's not a matter of nursing "dry".

The last few weeks have been fine, but these past four or five days it's getting bad again...not so much physically painful (though it is a bit), but more like having someone scratch scratch scratch at the same little spot. Not bad at first, but after a few minutes...ugh! So I'm okay with her nursing for 3-4 minutes at a time, but more than about ten minutes and all I want to do is hit something, or yell, or scream, or throw something or, well, not be a very good mama.

The problem is that she expects to nurse to sleep for her nap. And that takes 20-30 minutes of nursing. The past few days I haven't handled it really well, and I just don't know what to do other than whine about it here! If I try pulling her off or limiting her nursing for nap time she freaks out and has a full on tantrum that can last for hours. So that's not really a better option!

I'm sure things will settle down again once the babe arrives and the hormones shift once more, but I'm really worried about starting a new nursing relationship while my nipples are bleeding!

Bleh.

[boheime]

Something that helps me is to distract myself with something else - like reading a chapter book to the kids or reading a book of my own.

This past week I switched from laying down to nurse dd for naps and bedtime to sitting up with her spraled across my lap. Then after we nurse, she lays down next to me. We just weren't getting a comfortable latch at all with me laying down anymore. Plus, the baby likes to stretch way out in the evenings and it makes it really uncomfortable on my belly to lay down and nurse.

You are almost there! You can do it!

[willoLevin]

I can't even imagine coping with nursing considering how sensitive my breasts have been at times during this pg. I think you are Supermom!

--willo

[lunaleau]

I know what you mean. My son is 2 1/2 and for the most part nurses maybe once or twice a day for just a couple of minutes. But it is horrible!!! I never thought it would be like this!!! We had a fine nursing relationship up until about 2 months ago, now everyday gets worse and I want to pull my hair out. It is a hard sensation to describe. Luckily we had weaned from night nursing awhile ago , mostly because my work as a doula would have me gone for the night shift and it would be Daddy's turn. Still is, they do a ritual, brush teeth, read books, snuggle until asleep. I am sooo grateful for this right now because I would probably lose my mind otherwise.

I am chalking this up to hormones, maybe our bodies natural way of weaning an older child so that it won't compete with the new baby for nourishment? Just conjecture. I am not planning on weaning my son any time soon but my acupuncturist told me that in chinese medicine, tandem nursing is not recommended because it draws so much chi from the mothers body it can be really taxing. Anyone familiar with TCM have any thoughts? Otherwise I am with you on the nursing toddler, nipple pain, going crazy thing...

[Ks Mama]

The pain/discomfort was difficult at times for me too, particularly in the last month of pregnancy when nursing my DD. I am of the child-led weaning camp, but I will say that what worked best for us was up front honesty - I just told my DD that my nipples were feeling sensitive, and that I'd like to make this nursing session short. I'd let her know this ahead of time, not during, if at all possible. If it occurred during a nursing session, I let her know as gently as possible that I'd like to end the nursing session, and offer an alternative (my daughter's favorite alternative is fiddling with my belly button). Counting down works - for both of us. Also, you may find singing a song (as a time limit of sorts) helps. Finally, you can pick & choose, if possible, the times when nursing is particularly painful or uncomfortable, and offer a different activity for those times, or sit in a different position. I always found, throughout m y pregnancy, nursing lying down was the most uncomfortable nipple-pain-wise. For naps, perhaps a ride in the car, or a rock in the chair after a timed nursing session would work?

I can tell you that nursing a toddler after having the baby is working well for us, though my little baby toddler seems HUGE to me now! Its SO much more comfortable (though we have to work a bit with my todler's latch... & teeth - ouch! I notice them now!), and its wonderful for dealing with engorgement while my little one is still getting into the swing of nursing.

Hang in there! I think its WONDERFUL youre still nursing. It is such a great way to keep in touch with your toddler with a new baby in the house.

[AuntG]

Originally Posted by willoLevin

I can't even imagine coping with nursing considering how sensitive my breasts have been at times during this pg. I think you are Supermom!

--willo

I agree!

[sebarnes]

Oh, I feel your pain! I feel like this with DD, also. What has saved our nursing relationship is limiting the amount of time she nurses. When I start to feel like I am going to throw her through the wall, I count to ten, and then she knows it's time to unlatch. I can't imagine what you feel like during that 20-30 minute nursing!

I am just holding out that it will be better when the new babe comes. I know it has gotten better since my colostrum came in (my milk dried up when I was about 20 weeks, which was when bfing began to drive me batty!!).

[wombatclay]

Thanks all...I knew I couldn't be alone!

I don't plan to wean (though when I got pregnant dd was nursing 8-10 times a day and THAT had to change...and we did night wean towards the end of the first trimester), and I know I'm almost "there" in terms of nursing through pregnancy. I think I'm just "wearing thin"!

We've had a lot of luck limiting how long she nurses in the morning and evening, it's just the nap that is the sticking point. She is totally focused on having the nipple in her mouth till she is all the way out. Any "early de-latch" results in the non-stop screaming. Even though she is really pretty good about being "gentle" and helping mama at the other nursing sessions. And her Bubka (my mom) and DH can both get her to sleep without nursing...

Soon, soon, it will be better soon!

[boheime]

There is something magical about that nap time nurse isn't there? Even though bed time is the hardest for me, quite a while ago dd started nursing at bedtime and then unlatching before snuggling to sleep. At nap time though, she needs to actually nurse until she is out.

[saratchka]

DD stopped nursing of her own accord about 5 weeks ago, but I do know exactly what you mean. I was ready to rip my skin off after about two minutes of nursing. I'm sure DD was aware of my negative feelings, and I feel some guilt that I probably contributed significantly to her weaning, but I have to admit that it's really been a relief not to have that experience several times each and every day. I'm definitely open to her starting to nurse again if she wants to, but so far she doesn't seem to indicate that she will. Only time will tell, I suppose.

Nap time was, by far, the hardest time to adjust to. Within a couple weeks, both DH and I could read and cuddle her to sleep in the evenings, but getting her down for a nap takes much more finesse, and I find myself coming up with excuses to run errands that will have us in the car and on the way home when naptime comes around. : I know that's not the best solution, but it has worked well for us in a pinch. Other things that have been known to work are reading softly to her when she starts to act sleepy and wearing her on my back in a mei tai while I do something monotonous, like dishes. Occasionally she'll be playing or reading alone in her room and when I peek in on her she's flopped down on the bed and fallen asleep on her own - which is amazing to me!

Anyhow, I don't have any words of wisdom. Just wanted to be another voice to tell you that you're not alone! You deserve a big for sticking this out. Good luck to you.

[buffybutt]

I used the same phrase to dh about nursing my son who is 19 months old the other day, I want to throw him out the window:

Its just so hard to have him in my lap and twiddling and playing and then so tired but wanting more nursies before bed and ahhh,......


but I do have to say, we should be so proud nursing through pregnancy isnt cake and we did it, almost , the newbies will be here anyday and Im so happy that ds and I have this close bond still

Hang in there mama and vent anytime

[SuzymomofLaura]

Oh I can relate to that nipple pain! My DD (2,5) nursed until half way through my second trimester, and then my milk dried up completely, and she 'weaned' of he own accord. Since I had come to expecting I'd tandem nurse, I too was concerned about how child led her weaning actually was .
Can't you, maybe just once or twice () sneak off and have someone else put her to bed for her nap? Or does that mean she won't nap at all, period? Just a thought, you're so close to the end now, as a sort of treat for yourself (you've held up like a heroine so far!!!)