Manners

[Aliviasmom]

I'm getting sick of always prompting Alivia to say "Please" when she wants something from me or wants me to do something. So I've started saying "Oh, are you asking a question?" and she immediately says "Please!" I want her to realize that there is a difference between a demand (which will be followed less frequently by me) and a request. (Such as "Hold me hold me hold me." vs "Hold me please")

[limabean]

I don't mind if DS doesn't say "please" as long as his request is said in a respectful tone of voice. If it's a demand said with a sulky face I might model the appropriate phrasing, like, "Will you please open this for me, Mama?", or I might even say, "My goodness! I'll wait until you're ready to ask me nicely" before doing what he wants.

But if he says with a smile "Open this, Mama!" because he's in a rush and excited about playing with the toy inside, I just open it without insisting that he say please.

(But yeah, the holdmeholdmeholdme thing gets hard to listen to sometimes -- it comes out as more of a whine usually! )

[greeny]

I like my kids to have manners when asking for things, so I usually say gently, "Would you please say 'please'?" if they don't (or ask rudely), and they always do. In fact, they generally always say please on their own now.

And dh and I make sure to model "pleases" and "thank-yous" too.

[LynnS6]

At 2, I'm pretty calm about that. I tend to say "Oh, is that the same as "can I have some water please?" if I'm irritated.

For our ds, I say " how can you ask that politely?" We've modeled and practiced until we're blue in the face, so he KNOWS. I once heard a mom look at her child (about 8 or 9, I think) when she had demanded something and say "excuse me, were you being rude?"

[nova22]

When my 3 or 4 year old kids snap at me or make a rude demand, I have a whole ton of responses I use.

Most common: "Can you think of a way to ask nicely/politely/respectfully?"
Also: "Try again, but this time be polite."
Or: "I'm sure you can think of a nice way to ask."
Or: "That's a very rude way to say you want [x], how about saying 'may I have that please' instead?"

I know all moms have some things they care adamently about, and some things they let slide every once in a while...for me, one of the "adament" things is manners.

[Aliviasmom]

Yes...I am talking about the "demands". She has just gotten so dang MOUTHY lately! She just tells me what to do or not to do and it has me :. I don't make her say it EVERY time she asks for something. Just when she's whining or demanding.

[canadiyank]

We talk a lot about "polite words." For a long time I just give them scripts..."Water please, mama," and they repeat it back. Eventually I just (kindly) say, "Try again" and they remember. Same with, "Thank you." I just hand them the water and say, "Thank you, mama," and they catch on. I tell them to say it loudly enough so the person can hear them (or until the person says, "You're welcome," lol!).

I've seen it mentioned (but never tried it myself) to (kindly) tell the child to come back in a few mins. and try again, the reasoning being anyone can remember when reminded, but if they really want it they'll come back using the polite words of their own accord and that'll stick better. Like I said, never used it, but it makes sense to me.