screaming in the car!

[mamakima]

Willa (2 3/4) screams in the car. I know she is doing it to get our attention but it really drives me crazy (and hurts our ears!). She looks right at her sister sleeping in the car seat next to her and just starts shreaking. It's really hard to remain calm as I usually have planned our car trip for Nells nap time because she doesn't particulary like riding. So if she wakes up 5 minutes after she falls asleep because of the little banshee seated next door...well, there will be no peace and quite that's for sure. We have music she likes to listen to and we sing and tell lot's of stories but as soon as I pause...
I get really angry. Any advice? I think I have to approach this with her before we get in the car. Should I "threaten" her....by that I mean say something like "I know it's can sometimes be hard for you to talk in a gentle voice in the car so I'm reminding you before we leave that I really believe you can do it. If it's going to be too difficult for you today we will just stay home." only problem is is that sometimes we really do need to go out (groceries, etc.) Thanks everyone...you all are invaluable!

[PikkuMyy]

I wouldn't call that a threat. I'd call that reminding her of what behavior you expect from her and giving her a chance to tell you that it will be too difficult. I would do some practice drives when you don't have to go anywhere. Start them short at first, so you know she can handle it, and then increase the amount of time. Give her tons of positive reinforcement for successfully keeping her voice quiet.

I'd also figure out if there are some special toys/books that she would like that you would only have for car trips (they'd stay in the car) so that she can look forward to playing with them while in the car.

I'd also pick a specific activity that you'll be able to do when you get home if the baby can sleep in the car. Something that would be much harder to do with a cranky, sleepy babe.

[dubfam]

I don't know if this would work for you since you have a baby, but when my ds did that we started just getting out of the car. We would tell him that if he wanted to scream that loud in the car then we needed to get out until he was done. We only had to do it a couple times.

It was really becoming a big issue before we started to just get out of the car.
Now he doesn't do it at all anymore. He knows we will just pull over and get out of the car (we stand right by the car so he knows we aren't leaving him) an it isn't any fun without an audience!

Oh, and we are really nice about the whole thing so we aren't feeding into it by giving him a reaction.

[dubfam]

I meant to say in my earlier post that we also make sure he has lots of stuff to do and we talk to him a lot while we are driving.

But the car is just boring at this age, and I think the screaming makes it more entertaining for them.