Bradley Method Birth gone Terribly wrong-in need of support - Page 2

[GoddessKristie]

Originally Posted by mocha18

Hi Kristie,
Your baby must be 1 year old now, but I just joined this group and read your posting and wanted to reply to you. I hope you're doing better and know that your story is very common and it's not your fault that things didn't go as you had planned.
My first birth was very similar, though I was luckier, in that I did not require a c-section. The Bradley method is fabulous, but is very difficult to practise in most hospitals. I remember thinking before my first birth that I would be fine as long as my water didn't break early, but then it did. This is the same problem you had. Once that happens, as you know, one is at serious risk for infection, and can no longer afford the luxury of letting the body take its time to do what it needs to do. I agree 10 hours is not very long. I stayed home for 18 hours waiting for labor to pick up to a pace that seemed worthy of going to the hospital for a Bradley birth. But even I was getting very nervous about infection at that point, so I went in. The on-call doctor was quite irritated that I waited so long. I suspect there is still concern when on ampicillin because possibly other infectious bacteria are resistant to ampicillin, and so it is still a good idea to hurry things along. Not all antibiotics work on all bacteria.
For that reason, after a few hours walking around and still being at 1.5cm, I went for the Pitocin, which is something I believe was necessary. I think Pitocin is a valid way to go to help things along, but very difficult for women who don't want to use pain medication because there is nothing natural about those pitocin contractions! Also more intrusive monitoring is required with pitocin, making it even more difficult to deal with those contractions. In my case, after several hours of hard pitocin labor and still at ~5cm, I gave in and got the epidural because my doctor said it would be a long time before I would be fully dilated. Interestingly, as the anesthesiologist was leaving the room after administering the epidural, I felt the urge to push. Sure enough, in just minutes, I was almost fully dilated. It seems the relief of the epidural relaxed me enough to dilate. Who knew? So in that regard, I was very lucky. I was still a little upset though, because if I had known it could go that quickly, I might not have needed the epidural and could have had much more control over the pushing stage.
Moral of the story-- I think there's not much than can be done when membranes rupture in early labor. I don't think you made any mistakes in what you did.
I think your next one, if you choose to have another, will go much better like mine did. My water didn't break until I was about 9 or 10cm. Baby was born about 10 minutes later, healthy, alert, and beautiful (with a nice, round head). It was also a very very long labor (especially for a second birth), but was much more enjoyable without the stress of ruptured membranes.
I wish you all the best. You seem like a thoughtful person and I bet you're a great mother to your baby.

Thank you for this wonderful reply. And I want to thank everyone else who replied and who have sent Private Messages about Jackson's birth. Your support has been really wonderful, I'm so happy about the community I've found here at Mothering.

A year later I have made complete peace with Jackson's birth. I talked with a psychiatrist for three months after his birth and that made a big difference. She diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which I don't find surprising. I try not to revisit his birth unless I'm thinking ahead to the next birth and what I will do differently.
Everyone's input here has been a big help in that area as well. I am looking foreward to preparing my body in every possible way for our next baby. Thinking back there were a lot of assumptions made about my pregnancy based on my weight that simply were not true. I had one of the most healthy pregnancies of anyone I've known. Especially considering my weight! I truly feel that my body was created for bearing children and I had a perfect pregnancy. In the coming months as we prepare to get pregnant for the second time I will be bringing the aesthetic in line with the truth. I really believe that Drs (my midwife ended up being no better than a dr) automatically assume what your health (and subsequently your pregnancy) are like based solely on your appearance. We'll be nipping that in the bud. What happened during Jackson's birth was a combination of fear (induced by the midwife), and lack of experience. That will not happen again. I got a quick education in how firm you need to be with people who work at hospitals (regardless of their title), and we will be staying away from hospitals at nearly all costs.

If anyone wants to talk about their birthing experience or upcoming birth please feel free to contact me. I would love to help others who have been through similar situations, and to help other women prevent being taken advantage of in such a way.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for all your support and understanding.

[cathicog]

Originally Posted by RosemaryS-F

This is all making me very nervous--my husband and I are doing the Bradley method which I know from friends is a wonderful way to experience birth. My hospital is supposedly great, but do you know they will support you really? Can you refuse "treatments" like pitocin? It seems like they tell you all sorts of dangerous things that will happen to your baby, but then usually your baby is just fine. What can you do?

Read everything you can get your hands on about normal birth(Ina May gaskin, Sheila Kitzinger, Marsden Wagner, Penny Simpkin, Janet Balaskas, and Henci Goer), and try to have your baby at home! Walking into a hospital implies that you will do what they want, and most ladies are in no mood to argue when they get there! Not to mention most hospital staffs are well trained to manipulate to get the client to do what *they* want...please find a homebirth mw and have your baby at home. Especially the first one! It is just as safe(or safer) than a hospital birth.

[Twwly]

'...fear (MW induced) and lack of experience...'

That sums up exactly how I wound up with a hospital transfer and definite birth trauma. I am glad you are at peace with your birth. DS is 16+ months and I am not yet. I hope it comes soon.

Have fun getting pregnant with #2!

[gingerwinston]

Nearly Exact Same Experience

Reading your story was like reading my own. The only difference is that I had not taken Bradley classes. Other than that, everything, to the very detail of your story is exactly what happened to me. I was 2 weeks overdue as well, so that was also different.

I was put on Pitocin, coerced into taking an epidural at 6 centimeters, and next thing you know:

"Failure to Progress" and "Baby's heartrate dropping" led me right into a C-section!

This was my first child, so there's a lot to be learned. Next time around, I plan to research what I can do to help the baby not go so overdue. That would have possibly prevented me from getting induced with Pitocin to begin with (the doc wouldn't let me go past 42 weeks). I like the idea of letting the baby "come when he's ready", however, meconium was in my baby's lungs when he was born, and that could have been from going 2 weeks past my due date, so ideally, I would like to try things like Evening Primrose Oil and Raspberry Leaf Tea towards the end of my pregnancy to help prepare for labor, but of course, with some professional advice first. I also plan to exercise a lot more the next time around as lack of oxygen and stress can also cause the meconium issue while still in the womb. I would drink more water (a quart for every 50 pounds of body weight spread throughout the day). I would hire a doula and try to have a homebirth as well.

My c-section definately caused emotional trauma for me for at least a couple of months. I couldn't stop playing over and over again in my head how it wouldn't have happened had this and that been done differently.

Three things I have found that have gotten me past the hurt and have given me hope:

- I shower my son with love to occupy my mind.

- I dream about how my future pregnancies/deliveries will be different

- I've always been told my whole life that everything happens for a reason, both good and bad things, so I pray and ask God to open my eyes to those reasons, so maybe I can accept what happened more easily and move on.

After having a cesearean delivery, I felt like I had missed out on something. I felt like there was so much about the whole experience that I couldn't remember. All I could seem to remember is how I was crying and shaking hysterically throughout the entire cesarean delivery. I couldn't even speak about it for at least a month without crying.

Today, 3 months after my son was born, somehow, I feel okay. I am alive and well and so is my son, and we are also blessed to have a wonderful, supportive husband and father. I've been enjoying my son so much that somehow I have let the birth experience slip away in the back of my head and just let it rest. That's all I feel I can do.

For now, I'm taking lots and lots of pictures of my son and loving him with all my heart and soul. I am just grateful to even have him. When I was 18 years old, due to some health issues, my ob/gyn told me I may never be able to have children, and as a matter of fact, my husband and I lost our first child to a miscarriage. So my son is truly a blessing and I am just so thankful to have him even though he had to enter this world in a very traumatic way. I'm just glad he lived. Some mothers have still births. That seems like the ultimate tragedy that I couldn't imagine having to endure. Therefore, I just thank God for what I have and move on. I have no choice.

[~Megan~]

It sounds like you were violated over and over by your provider. She did not give you good advice, imo, and was not on board for your birth plan at all.

I'm so sorry for all the interventions and the painful outcome. I hope that with time you can heal.

[mkirby624]

I think your title is a bit misleading. When I saw this, I began to panic a bit because the Bradley Method is what I am using to have a natural childbirth. I feel that the Bradley Method is not what went wrong for you, but that your NMW was not supportive in respecting your birth plan. Rather than allowing you to give birth your way, she scared the daylights out of you by giving you the extreme of what could happen if your water has been broken for a long time.

Before your next child, I would suggest you read the Appendix of Painless Childbirth. The whole of the book I did not find useful, but in the Appendix it discusses things that will happen in the hospital and ways the doctors/nurses/midwives may try to speed your labor for their own convenience...it also mentions questions to ask so that you get real answers and truly know if there is an issue. If the baby is not in stress, there's no reason for Pitocin, which, as you saw, led to more medical intervention than you original hoped for.

I hope you'll try the Bradley Method again, but have a firmer birth plan in place. Now you're prepared for the push of hospital staff to "hurry it along" as opposed to letting you give birth the natural way, and you'll be better apt to stand firm against their insistence on medicine.

[GoddessKristie]

I'm sorry if my title is misleading, but the point is that I went in thinking I was going to have a Bradley birth and it went terribly wrong. You're exactly right about what happened and why it went the way it did. What really helped me understand the reality of my birth was a publication put out by the WHO about labor and delivery. It's written so that they layperson can assist in birth and know what is normal and what is not. I'd give many things to go back in time and read that publication before I gave birth. I highly recomend it. As a woman it was one of the most important things I have ever read and I encourage every pregnant woman I know to read it. It outlines in detail what exactly is normal and what is not, how long you can go in each stage and how you know you've progressed on to the next. It's a FANTASTIC resource for an expecting mother.
Here it is http://whqlibdoc.who.int/publication...59084X_eng.pdf
As for my next birth it will be at home with a midwife that I am already getting to know. We haven't even begun to TTC yet and I have already been talking with a group that is very promising. Regardless of the situation I give birth in I now have the information I need to be certain my birth is normal and natural.
Thanks for the suggestions!

[cathicog]

Originally Posted by GoddessKristie

So, at 4:20am on January 5th when I felt that little release I knew it was time. I hurried out of bed and to the toilet and yes! My water had broken! I was thrilled that today was the day I would meet my baby.

Like many first time moms, the first mistake is assuming that once the water is broken, you go into labor and have a baby. Not necessarily so.You should have been told to wait, and not come in til the ctx were 2-3 min apart, 60-90 seconds long. That would have taken several hours you could have spent at home. But the hospitals don't mind...

I called the hospital when my contractions were 30 minutes apart and they told me to come in. I was admitted and given a gown. I hopped in bed and with DH at my side I began practicing the Bradley Method. Things were going great and all the nurses thought I was sleeping while I was having contractions. I was relaxed and handling the natural birth surprisingly well.
Shortly after my admittance my NMW came in and said I needed to be started on Ampicillin for my GBS. Though I had decided I didn't want it, she pressured me by saying it would cause serious harm to my baby if I didn't and that they would do all manner of terrible things to him when he came out. I was scared and in pain and I trusted that she knew what I wanted and what was best for me and my baby, so I agreed. Shortly after agreeing she returned to say that my water had been broken far too long and that there was a risk of infection. I had no idea that it was a problem but when she suggested Pitocin I balked and said "no way." I wanted my baby to come out when he was ready.

You went in too early,at the hospitals suggestion, and they assisted you into the "Cascade of Interventions". In other words, they betrayed you. There is a saying I learned, "pit the mom til the baby is born, or crashes" seems to be the current mantra in many hospitals. The hospitals have nothing to lose. The moms and babies have everything to lose. That's not to say there arent times when speeding up a labor is needful, it just doesn't need to be done near as often as it is, especially in first time moms. Please have a homebirth next time, it is probably the ONLY way you will have a VBAC, and you can labor to your own timetable, and not someone else's.

My NMW was quick to assure me that if I didn't take the Pitocin I would develop an infection that would almost definatly severely harm or kill my baby. Again, being a scared new mother in a lot of pain who put her full trust in her NMW, I agreed. This was the worst mistake I have ever made.
Almost immediatly Jackson's heartrate dropped into the 120s (FYI: fetal distress is marked by a FHR of <120). My labor became more difficult and MUCH more painful-side effects I did not know were imminent.
Two and a half hours later my NMW returned to tell me things were not progressing quickly enough and she upped my Pitocin without giving me any options. Again, more pain. Jackson's FHR dropped again to right at 120 and stayed there. So, after another hour they upped it again. Again, more pain. This time I had to be put on oxygen because I was finding it difficult to breathe through the pain. An hour and a half after the last upping of Pitocin Jackson went into Fetal Distress.

120 is not a bad hr in and of itself, it is on the low side of normal. However you probably weren't allowed to get out of the bed to help the baby get in better positiion, turn himself, whatever, and they were artificially squeezing his head against the cervix, more strongly than would have occurred naturally.

Because my contractions were so hard, but my cervix was only dilated to 5cm Jackson's head was being crushed with each contraction and his heartrate was dropping into the 80s.
You can guess what happened next. Yup, an emergency cesarean.

Bless your heart. It isn't the Bradley method that failed, nor your body. What failed is a system of "health care" that insists that you stay in a bed, monitored like a criminal, and endure long painful labor, without moving. This is a crime in this country.
I cannot reiterate this enough. Find your nearest ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) chapter, and go to a meeting. Seeing other women who have gone thru this trauma, survived, and went on to give birth vaginally (many at home) can be a lifesaver, and can help you heal from the PSTD...And PLEASE have your next baby at home....safely... :

[inaweofmommyhood]

Hugs to you, Mama!

[gemasita]

I was so confused because I trusted my body and my baby to lead the way but how could my body be so very wrong? Why did I need so much intervention?

YOUR body didn't do ANYTHING wrong. I honestly don't think you needed any of the interventions you had. RISK of infection is not an infection. There are signs one can watch for and if those don't appear, nothing needs to be done. Plus, a baby whose FHTs are already in the 120's doesn't need more Pit. Some births take a LONG time and there's nothing inherently wrong with a long birth. Hospitals just can't have you there for days. That's the only reason they hurry women along - not because long births are "wrong." At home, it might takes days and that might just be the way a woman births.

I agree with the pp's that your MW failed you. I'm sure she was thinking of liability, etc. I think if you find a care provider that is more supportive and believes in your body's ability to give birth, you would have a much better experience in the future.

Again, your body did NOTHING wrong...it did all the right things!

[LilacMama]

I agree with those that say your body did not fail you. You got bad care. I'm so sorry Best wishes to you for your next birth and congratulations on the sweet, precious baby you had.

[inaweofmommyhood]

I am so sorry - if my CNM practiced at a hospital I would think we both used the same one. I'm not going to rewrite my birth story - it is on down the page a bit, starts out with: Pregnant again after 5 months...
I, too, am healing and still have nightmares and intrusive thoughts that I have to take by the reins.
Three things that I did learn from my not so pleasant birth experience: Not all midwives are Ina May Gaskin. Some people are just not honest, are pushy and are really self-absorbed (and it doesn't bother them to be that way). AND - I DO have a right to say NO and GET OUT!
We WILL get through this because we ARE strong women, great moms, and have wonderful husbands and babies that need us to be our old selves.
HUgs to you, Mama!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

your body wasnt wrong and it didnt need the interventions I am sorry that the MW out and out lied to you and scared you into doing things that caused your ds distress and ended in a c section.

[GoddessKristie]

Thanks so much for the support, ladies! It is wonderful to have a community like this where you all understand.
Cathicog: What's funny about my admission to the hospital is that my water broke at about 4:20am and I didn't even call until the cx were about 10 minutes apart (it was about a 30 min drive). I told them my water had broken and they said to come to the midwife office (rather than going to LD??). I went and got there around noon. They were all on lunch. I had to stand around knocking on the door for about 15 minutes with water POURING down my legs before someone came to the door and she said "what are you doing here?" I said "they told me to come here!" and she walked me straight over to my room where I stood for 10 more minutes until someone came in and when the nurse left I had to call after her and ask her to bring me a gown! Then the NMW came in and chastised me for not calling and coming in as soon as my water broke. I can only imagine if I had been there all day.
Here's a lovely list of the things I asked about and suggested that were immediately shot down as ineffective or not a possibility:
getting in the shower
getting in the tub (I wanted a waterbirth-which they knew)
walking to speed labor
standing
squatting
sitting in a chair
giving the baby more time before pit
all of these things were met with a condescending response about being inneffective, not possible and downright ignorant.

I will never give birth in a hospital again.
Thanks to the WHO pub I linked to earlier I know about FHR and normal L&D and if a provider tries to push me again she will leave our home and DH and I will be fully prepared for UC (which I'm considering anyway).

inaweofmommyhood: I read your birthstory and it was so shocking and terrible that I didn't know how to respond. I'm so sorry that happened to you and it really did ring bells for me. I think you and I were very similar on the day we gave birth. I just didn't know and I had someone bossing me around. I encourage you to read the WHO pub I linked to earlier and at least we both learned to stand up for ourselves and our babies.

Thanks again Mamas

[cathicog]

Originally Posted by GoddessKristie

Then the NMW came in and chastised me for not calling and coming in as soon as my water broke. I can only imagine if I had been there all day.

Chastising a grown woman as if she were an errant 3 year old, especially for something like this, is unprofessional and manipulative. I am sorry you went thru that!

Here's a lovely list of the things I asked about and suggested that were immediately shot down as ineffective or not a possibility:
getting in the shower
getting in the tub (I wanted a waterbirth-which they knew)
walking to speed labor
standing
squatting
sitting in a chair
giving the baby more time before pit
all of these things were met with a condescending response about being inneffective, not possible and downright ignorant.

Those were the very things, that in another practice, would have been encouraged and the very things that should have been done...I am so sorry you went thru this. i wish there were a way to determine which NMW practices were holistic, evidenced based, and which were not. But only word of mouth can pass that along. [/quote]

I will never give birth in a hospital again.

There is a place for hospital birth, but it shouldn't be the norm, and certainly shouldn't be as pro-surgery as they are.

[Juniperberry]

First of all, congratulations on your little one!!!

I'm so sorry you had such a horrible birth experience. Your story brought back my memory of DS1's birth. I hope you can come to terms with it soon... you'll never forget, but try to focus on the good things..that's whay I do. I went on to have a wonderful second birth which has helped.. I hope you can too!!

[kel32brown]

Here's hoping you get the birth you want,

next go round. Your heart sure shows in your writing.

[GoddessKristie]

Thank you everyone! Your supportive responses are very healing. I cannot even express..

[Susan12345]

Late to the post. Bradley method gone wrong

I am very late to this thread, but need some help with the abbreviations. Can you fill me in? thanks. I am sorry you had such a horrible experience. I hope you get the birth youu want next time, which may, God willing have already ocurred since I'm writing almost two years after the events.... S.

[GoddessKristie]

Thank you for your well wishes
I'm glad to know that people are still reading and hopefully learning from my story. I have not yet had another birth, but I will most certainly post about it when I do!
I'll try to catch all the abbreviations for you:
PTSD= Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
NMW= Nurse Midwife
GBS= Group B Strep
FHR= Fetal Heart Rate
SIL= Sister In-law
WHO= World Health Organization
DH= Dear Husband
IV= (just kidding )
If I missed any please let me know. I tried to catch them all.