Originally Posted by Tani
I really have the strongest urge to take you by the shoulders and shake you, HARD.
I cannot even begin to imagine how you would think that losing your child -- even though it's a "small" risk -- is somehow less traumatic than periodically pissing them off by putting them in a car seat.
I certainly hope you never find out whether that's true or not.
It isn't, by the way. Risking a child's life is NOT worth it.
At least you do use a seat, which is better than way too many other parents out there.
Do you drive? Ever? Anywhere? If so, don't tell me about "risking a child's life not being worth it". Every single one of us who puts our child in an automobile ever
is risking that child's life, whether or not they're strapped tightly into a carseat or not. I'm comfortable with a higher level of risk with respect to the carseat aspect of it than many moms are. I'm also comfortable with a much lower
level of risk with respect to how much I drive with dd.
And, I can't imagine what planet you're living on that you think I'd find losing my child to be less traumatic than putting her in a carseat. It's not a matter of whether losing her would be worse...that falls strongly into the "well, duh" category. I'm well aware that if I have her out of her seat or she has the clip down and I'm in an accident, it will haunt me for the rest of my life. I'm also aware that listening to her scream and cry and beg not to be put in the seat for two years will haunt me for life. Since I never was in accident, the bottom line is...I did that to her for nothing
. If I'd been in an accident, the seat would have probably
made a positive difference...but since I wasn't, it made only a negative difference.
Basically, by putting her in a car seat, I'm saying that I think all her trauma over it is worth it, even if we're never in an accident at all. I don't think so. By abiding by the law, I'm pretty much saying the best outcome for dd is an accident...because then her suffering actually serves a purpose.
Go ahead and "shake me hard". Every time I take dd out, I do something to her that I think is bad for her, that feels abusive to me, that damages our relationship...and I do it because the "experts" have decided it's best. I don't agree - and it's not about stats re: kids who are in accidents. It's about personal risk assessment.
Funny...if I were tormenting my child by making her cry herself to sleep every night, because someone told me it as for the best, you'd all jump all over me...but hen I torment her with the car seat, somehow all bets are off.