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Pregnant w/ #1 in our 30s June Thread - Page 8

post #141 of 312
thanks everyone for the kind thoughts here and on the other thread... I hope I didn't scare anyone - fwiw I would absolutely do it again at the birth center. I am feeling better about the birth (oh yeah - I DID do it huh? hormones are crazy right now), better in general (less pain 'down there'), except that I seemed to have caught a cold somehow without even going anywhere ?! Gabriella is doing well despite my worrying about every little thing. Interesting that she has some rough awake periods for a few hours between 1-5 am, which is about when I could never sleep when pregnant. I am going stir crazy though. I miss walking my dog, I miss my schedule. I am not a patient person (it's been one week today). Patience is no doubt the first of many lessons Ella will teach me.

My mother is still here and TG because we really need her. I had originally planned to have a one week baby moon just to ourselves. Hah. So glad she came early (especially being home 10 hours after birth). She may be leaving at the end of the week and I'm scared about that.

Julia - we've been thinking about an au pair too in the long run. I'm on maternity leave (from teaching) in the fall though will still be going in most-time, just hoping to bring baby with me.

Dee - I had a feeling this was going to be a boy all along, so it was a surprise. Pink has really grown on me in the last week!

I'm still freaked out about the 'life change' you guys are talking about. It's almost a relief when it actually starts because then you can start taking it one day at a time. Big thing for me is I do alot of work in remote places hiking around. In theory you could do that with a breastfed, healthy baby, but in practice?!
post #142 of 312
On the lightheadedness, I'm also 24 weeks (today), so I know in my head it's probably related to timing. And, it's mostly in the morning, after I've eaten. I eat as soon as I wake up... I may also be slightly anemic, so I've upped my iron and protein intake. My tummy is still bothering me, but it's slowly improving. It's just SO hard to sleep with it since every movement has to be very careful and slow...

Child care - an au pair is that cheap???!!! I'm going to be paying approximately $800/month for daycare near my work so that I can see her easily whenever I want to. Or maybe slightly less if my parents end up taking her a couple of days a week. The nanny/au pair stuff I've looked into is well over $1000/month, so what services are you looking at? I am also really torn because the child care center where I work is literally NEXT DOOR (I mean in my hallway, not the next building) to my office, so I could pretty easily nurse and only have to pump sometimes. But, the facility isn't that great... The one 4 blocks away is GREAT, but is a 15 minute walk, so it would be much harder to just bring her back to my office to hang out when it's quiet and/or nurse... Ugh!!! It's so crazy to think about leaving her with anyone, but I adore my job and I make more than 50% of our income... I don't think I'd be a good stay-at-home mom...

I'm also NOT a cook! My husband cooks sometimes, but not all the time. We eat well, but it's really easy-to-prepare, simple stuff. And we eat out a lot... I think at first I'll have to start making a ton of stuff and blending it for her over the weekend for use throughout the week, but who knows what we'll end up doing. I'm still finding a child birth class. I cannot believe how fast this is going by!

In other news, we spent a bazillion dollars at the baby-stuff store last night... I really wanted a nice, comfy, recliner/rocker and it was very important to my dh that it was not ugly (he has very strong and modern tastes). So, we dropped almost $1000 on a d*mn chair!!! It's soooo comfy though! Now I have to wait 6-8 weeks for it to get here... And we got a crib mattress. The store had two organic mattresses on sale for 50% off so we got the natural rubber one (more comfy). Now we just need everything else!
post #143 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganone View Post
So, we dropped almost $1000 on a d*mn chair!!! It's soooo comfy though!
Worth every penny!!
post #144 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganone View Post
On the lightheadedness, I'm also 24 weeks (today), so I know in my head it's probably related to timing. And, it's mostly in the morning, after I've eaten. I eat as soon as I wake up... I may also be slightly anemic, so I've upped my iron and protein intake. My tummy is still bothering me, but it's slowly improving. It's just SO hard to sleep with it since every movement has to be very careful and slow...
Consider asking your caregiver about dumping syndrome. I get it when I eat "too much" or if I drink much at the same time as I eat. Basically what this means is that the blood rushes to your full stomach and doesn't get diverted from the uterus because that's important, so it leaves your brain. The thing to do when it happens is lie down -- it goes away soon... but it is very disconcerting!
post #145 of 312
Natalia I'm so scared of the impending changes in my life that I consciously don't think about them. How's that for dealing with a problem? Like others have said, we will deal with the changes and somehow everything will get worked out. A couple weeks ago I got so stressed about everything that I was a nauseous ball of nerves. I realized that stressing is not good for me or the baby so I've backed off but it's lurking just below the surface.

I believe CJ when she says it's a relief to have the life changes happen b/c it must relieve some anxiety about the unknown. But right now, I need a drink just thinking about it, dammit. Crazy that we can't have one when we need it the most, huh?


Julia the au pair idea sounds wonderful! I know what you mean about having a 20 year old stranger living with you - it sounds really weird when you put it that way but it could be a great thing for you to have reliable affordable care for your baby.

Elizabeth congrats on the chair & organic mattress. A rocking chair/glider is very high on my list & one of the most expensive items as well. I went shopping on Sunday but froze up - I couldn't even begin to make a decision about what to buy. It seemed so unreal to be surrounded by all this stuff that I suddenly need. Hooray for going through with it, even though it cost a lot!

ETA: I added new u/s pics and a belly shot - link is in my sig.
post #146 of 312
Hi all.
Oooo, Elizabeth, what chair did you get?

You know, I have a slightly different take on the "life changing" thing. Not that I'm not scared about it, sometimes a lot. But here's the thing: I was ready for my life to change. I felt like we were in this rut, in this sort of dead zone. We'd both been in grad school forever. DH has been working on his dissertation for six years. SIX YEARS, PEOPLE. He's nearing forty (well, he's nearing thirty-seven) and has not begun to save for his retirement.

I started to look around, after semesters of inching toward the degree while spending sixty-five percent of my energy teaching entry-level classes that I was so burned out on... and I thought what do I want? What do I know I want to do? One answer was, I knew I wanted a baby. I also knew I wanted to spend more of my time and energy doing work that I ENJOYED and FELT PASSIONATE about.

So changes are happening slowly. I invented the baby by drinking tons of herbal tea and lurking on the TTC boards until my cycle cooperated and it worked. We're moving to a new house -- can't help but think the change of scenery will be good. I'm slowly trying to work on the other part. Putting less of my investment into the classes I have to teach at this point that aren't what I WANT to teach, and taking the absolutely terrifying step of not teaching anything in the fall, scraping together rent from student loans or quarters in the couch, and staying home and just doing the baby thing. I hope, some writing too, but at least I'm going to enjoy this baby, and take a break from where I was and see if I can get to somewhere I like better.

Would like to say more personal stuff but what with the pregnancy insomnia from 4-6, the roofers that arrived at 6:15, the pounding on the roof right above my head that began at 7, and oh yeah, the exhaustion from the teaching of the high school students that began this week along with the roofing (high school students are SO much more tiring than college students!)... my brain is kind of mush. Happy Wednesday to all!
post #147 of 312
I'm with Lane...I was ready for my life to change! I still have career goals but timing worked out to focus on baby first. I'm tired of focusing on me, I can't wait to focus on someone else! I'd still love to have time to get to the gym though, while MOSTLY focusing on baby Gotta have something for me, right?

Dee, great belly pics, and what a beautiful u/s. Can't wait for mine! How are you guys doing with thinking pink?

Elizabeth...when the chair comes, we want pics! I think the most expensive thing we get will be a nice recliner for the baby room. If you have to be up in the middle of the night nursing, ya gotta be comfy. Besides, DH and I are old and our backs hurt...things like good furniture are becoming more and more important. The daycare situation you have sounds good...how nice to have baby right next door. The au pair is going to be more than $1000 a month...not sure if I typed it wrong...it averages out to about $270 a week. I'll go find the link when I'm done posting this.

Here's a funny story about that:

DH decided to do his own research and called one of the au pair companies to talk to someone in person. I had joked to him that I didn't want an au pair that was prettier than I was...not because I don't trust him...I absolutely do...but because when I'm recooping from baby and feeling gross and yucky and fat, the last thing I want bouncing around my house all day is 20-old, perky-D-cupped Inga from Sweden who needs a fall-back career in case the beauty pageant thing doesn't work out. So anyhow, when DH talked to the woman at the au pair agency he told her "My wife's only request is that we don't get an au pair who's prettier than she is." (!!!! Now I look like a real jerk, right? !!!!) The woman says, "Well, I'm not sure we can do that," (Ok, I know she's never seen me, but still, rude?!) DH then says (or claims to have said) "Well it shouldn't be too hard because my wife is extraordinarily beautiful."

Mmmkay, I can't believe he said that to her. I think he's trying to get lucky I'm so embarrassed.

Can you tell we're newlyweds?

Got another pesky headache...I usually wait til later in the day to take something, if it gets more intense...because the tylenol doesn't usually get rid of it, it merely lessens the intensity. Augh.
post #148 of 312
For anyone interested, here's the link to the au pair agency DH called... they're all pretty similar, and the fees turn out to be almost all the same.

http://www.aupaircare.com/
post #149 of 312
Julia -- thanks for sharing that story. Hilarious!
post #150 of 312
i can't wait for the baby to change my life either. which doesn't mean i don't have fears about the new life. dh's fears seem more pronounced though.

on a frivolous note, i ordered pregnancy sandals today. mephisto helens in patent leather. at $130, way more than i should spend, but my feet are going to be carrying a lot of weight this summer, and i want to treat them well. and they are going to be swelling up, so open is good. and it is getting hard to deal with any shoes that aren't slip-ons. our birth instructor emphasized how hard it is to put on shoes when in labor.
post #151 of 312
i need to get back to work, but i have to share a major fashion faux pax on my part. i am wearing a maternity dress that i received as a hand-me-down from another mdc'er when i was about 20 weeks. it was above the knee but not obscene. well, today i am 30 weeks, my belly is a lot bigger, and the dress is a lot shorter. i keep getting these looks -- everyone must think i am very unprofessional...
post #152 of 312
Grace - (Sorry, unless they're in sigs, I can't remember names!) I realized in the middle of the night that OF COURSE you wrote $270/week and I just read $270/month. Duh! No one gets child care that cheap!!! Blame it on pregnancy-brain. You're dh is a smart man!!! And I'm sure you are gorgeous! Mine lovingly points out how fat I'm getting - gee thanks sweetie!

The chair is very similar to this one, but I can't find the exact model on the web. It's from this store, too. We have light grey couches, so we got it in grey with a hint of blue microfiber. (This chair cost more than our couches! But it is the one thing I was willing to spend money on.) It glides and reclines, and will glide while reclined, or you can lock it to not glide.
http://www.goores.com/goores/product...UU3VC3KBJFFME&

Pie - I'm sure you look very sexy in your micro-mini maternity dress. That's so funny! I have legs that haven't been exposed above the knee in many, many years...

I just found out that I get basically no maternity benefits - I can use my own sick and vacation. Not that I have much, since I've been here a year and a half. Woohoo!!! I had a hormonal melt down and then talked to my dh, who laughed at how messed up the Legislature is because they exempt themselves from the state's employee benefit laws that they WRITE, and reminded me that we used to live on just my salary, which at that time was less than he makes now, and that we did just fine and WILL do just fine. I'm still freaked out, though, I really thought I was eligible for the state's disability and paid family leave benefits... Bummer!!!

Thanks for helping to pull me out of my melt down - catching up with you guys helped calm me down.
post #153 of 312
Elizabeth, You are in California and this is happening to you!?!?! Holy crap! The rest of us preggo Americans have been wishing we could take Cal's plan.
post #154 of 312
Elizabeth, I'm a state worker in NC and discovered the same thing re: maternity benefits. Nice, huh? I almost cried when I found out. Since you've been there over a year, you'll be entitled to FMLA, 12 weeks unpaid leave. Not much consolation, but it's something.

I envy my Canadian friends more than ever!

PS: I'm new here, due 11/23 with no.1, a boy.
post #155 of 312
Welcome dcgrl!

Elizabeth - I love the chair! I hope you get lots of use out of it! Sorry about the maternity benefits you have, but I'm sure it will all work out. I get 12 weeks unpaid leave from the FMLA, which is not what I'd like, but better than it could be.

CJ - Thanks for the update. Glad to hear Ella is doing well! I'm sure you'll be back to a more regular lifestyle before you know it!

While I'm really fearful of becoming a mom, and keep worrying about the life change, it is a very welcome change to my life. I've wanted a baby for a number of years, but DH and I decided that I should finish my master's degree first (did that last Feb). I was really excited about everything until a few weeks ago when I started going crazy. Of course, last night I was thinking that I can't wait to meet my baby and start life as a family of three! Then, ten minutes later I was thinking of everything I "needed" to finish before the baby arrived. Lucky for me, DH reminded me that the only things we really need are diapers, since I'll be the baby's food source and we won't be putting baby in the crib for at least a few weeks.

In other news...DH finally felt the baby move. He was in Norway when the kicks started getting strong, but Friday night he felt a big kick (I actually think the baby got a running start and head-butted me). Then last night, he had his arm around me and the baby was just kicking his arm over and over. DH was really excited, so even though I wanted the babe to stop so I could go to sleep, I kept still for awhile.
post #156 of 312
New faces! Hello, DC Girl!

Okay... I just got offered a class for the summer session that starts next week. This would run concurrently with the high school class I'm teaching now, only it would go on three weeks longer (till almost mid-August). We also move during that time. It's a class I have never taught before. The syllabus is written (it's intimidating as heck!) but I've only read one of the books on it. It is an upper-level literature class, which is a big change (for the better) from what I've been doing, but it's in a genre about which I'm no expert.

It's a chunk of money, which makes me feel WAY better about taking the fall off, but it disqualifies me from medicaid.

What to do what to do? I feel the right answer is yes, but will I so regret this in a month or so when I'm nearing eight months along and it is hot as heck? Is this the decision to do jobs for small money rather than focusing on writing and long-term movement? Will it keep me from exercising as much and relaxing, or will it make me more productive and obviate the worry of taking the fall off? I feel so confused. Lucky -- my director offered me the job partly BECAUSE she knew I was worried about money in the fall -- but confused. This is very out of the blue!

Thanks for letting me talk through this.
post #157 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajennvt View Post
hi lovely mamas to be! : my name is jenn
: Jenn!! Yay!

Julia, regarding child care, we're going with a home-based daycare for 3 days per week. So far, my employer is letting me do 2 days per week from home. As long as that doesn't change, this is our plan. If they try to get me back up to 5 days per week I'll have to seriously re-think things. As it is we will pay for 4 days of daycare so I can be flexible with one of the days off and it's almost $1,000 a month (crap's expensive here).

CJ, glad to hear from you! Glad you and Gabriella are doing well.

Elizabeth, damn. That sounds like one amazing chair. I bet you love it! I hear you on the crappy maternity benefits. Seems like most people don't get much (unless you live in Canada!).

Dee, cute baby bump! (Love your PJ pants!)

Hi dcgrl! Welcome!

Jenn, yay on your husband feeling the baby! My husband felt his first kick on Mother's day!

minnow, I'd take the job, but I'm a freak about extra cash. I actually just took on some extra temporary responsibilities at work in exchange for a nice chunk of change that should be finished by the time I come back from maternity leave. Right now I'm psyched for the extra money, but ask me again in August how I feel about the decision!
post #158 of 312
Thread Starter 
Lane - I have to say hell no to the 2nd teaching job. For me, teaching is super stressful and time consuming. I cannot imagine taking on a second all new prep if I were in your position - that is a heck of a lot of extra work. Even if the money is good, it really might not be good for you or the baby to push yourself to the limits of your endurance. Plus you are moving for goodness sake! Be sane women.
post #159 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by dctexan View Post
Lane - I have to say hell no to the 2nd teaching job. For me, teaching is super stressful and time consuming. I cannot imagine taking on a second all new prep if I were in your position - that is a heck of a lot of extra work. Even if the money is good, it really might not be good for you or the baby to push yourself to the limits of your endurance. Plus you are moving for goodness sake! Be sane women.
Emily, thanks for this. I need to hear this because I need to take this seriously because I am really vulnerable right now. For various reasons our financial picture is trickier than I thought and I've been saying "It will all work out" and this sort of feels like an answer to that. Plus, first week back to work and I'm feeling that energy, like oh, I'm way more productive now that I have responsibility each day. The money would be really nice; we HAVE to get a new bed some way or the other. I have to figure out by tomorrow morning. Okay that's good advice. "Be sane." Must meditate on that.
post #160 of 312
PiePie - Yep, we have great benefits IF you are included in the state disability insurance plan, which I am exempted from. The nice thing is that dh will get to use the paid family leave stuff when I got back to work so that the baby can have an easier transition and more time at home. 00000000

Minnow - I'd be so torn on the job, too. It sounds like A LOT to take on, though! And teaching is hard - you can't have a low-energy day with that...

Jenn - glad your dh got to feel the baby move! Mine did like once, but I swear now every time he touches me she stops moving. It's bizarre. And then she's most active from 4-6 AM. That'll be fun when she's born!
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