or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › Pregnant w/ #1 in our 30s June Thread
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Pregnant w/ #1 in our 30s June Thread - Page 15

post #281 of 312
First of all -
PiePie : :

Welcome to 36! I'm one day older than you!

I have two questions - what do Braxton Hicks contractions feel like?

And then I'm just wondering how anyone can expect to have a 'painless' birth? Unless of course you are totally doped up? Am I missing some crucial info here??? I've been thinking it's going to hurt and just trying to accept that the pain is normal for the process not a warning as is usually the case.

Lane - I'm planning on a water homebirth. We've already got the birth pool, it's very big and deep. My sister is lending me her yoga ball too so I'll be using that if it helps. I've always considered myself very left and definitely a feminist but to be honest I'm just doing what is normal here, not really bucking the system or fighting patriarchy... although most foreigners or expats don't have homebirths just because they come with their own country's expectations of the kind of care they should receive so maybe I'm a bit different in this way.

Have any of you been reading the birth stories here on MDC? Just wondering.... I'm reading lots of stories and I've been watching births on youtube. It is so amazing! I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that in just 11 weeks that'll be me! Aaahhhh!!!!

Btw now when my baby moves my whole belly changes shape, it's both super cool and very strange.

Yesterday for my birthday, DH and I went out for dinner and ended up arguing about baby names - and not in a fun way. I guess I'm feeling stressed about not having ONE name and I'm just tired of how inflexible he's being. All he does is say no to every name I suggest meanwhile he doesn't suggest any. I'm getting upset just writing about it. He's so stubborn! ugh.

So Emily you can change my age to 36.... is this mid thirties or already late thirties?

Elizabeth - we are also going to get the charcoal bottom for the bugaboo but we are still arguing about what color to get for the top.... did I mention that my DH is stubborn. If it were up to him he would go for just black the whole thing... but come on it's for a baby not an accessory for him! I want some bright color like the green. Have you considered the pink for the flannel? I've seen that combo around here and it's very pretty - and that coming for someone that avoids pinks just on principle!

Anyway thank you for the congrats on my niece - she's really beautiful and sweet. I'm going to be the proud aunt and share some pics!

Zaia - http://i124.photobucket.com/albums/p...na/1stbath.jpg
Phoenix (my 2yo nephew) sporting a homemade playdo moustache - http://i124.photobucket.com/albums/p16/hazieluna/mr.jpg

Anyway chow for now!
post #282 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by dctexan View Post
Cher - How are the kids settling in?
So far, so good. They're enrolled in day camp via the YMCA (thank goodness for the YMCA!) so are having a pretty good time there. I made the mistake of telling them that they'd get to go fishing during one of the weeks of camp, and now they keep asking exactly when that is (not for another couple of weeks)! I think it's a good sign that they're so eager to go.

DH & I, on the other hand, are slightly frazzled. We're used to our quiet little life here in our quiet little house, and the sudden change has got us both freaked. We enjoy them, of course, but we keep looking at one another with that slightly dazed expression that says "Oooh. When The baby comes, we'll be outnumbered!":

Still haven't felt any movement yet : and it's driving me mad. I keep putting the hubster's hand on my belly and going "Oooh, what's that?" and he keeps having to tell me "It's just your pulse, honey." Nuts!

Cher
16 w 2d w/Biokid #1, loving aunt to N (8) & T(6)
post #283 of 312
Happy Birthday Piepie and Natalia (even if it's a day late)! Natalia - you are still in your mid-thirties!

Emily - I noticed my age isn't listed. I'm 31.

Cher - glad to hear that things are settling in with the kids and they like camp. I hope you feel your baby soon! It's an amazing feeling, but the first two weeks I felt it, I thought it was a gas bubble. Now (I'm 25 weeks) baby moves all the time, especially when I'm trying to go to sleep! It took about a month after I first felt the kicks before DH could feel them from the outside. Now, each night he says good night and puts either his ear or hand on my belly and the baby kicks him a few times. Very cute.

Dee - I'm also feeling a bit behind with the childbirth prep. I'm just taking the class offered at my Birth Center, which starts in two weeks. I haven't really read anything about prepping either. I am taking a prenatal yoga class which teaches some relaxation techniques, so maybe that will help?

Dee (again) - I had my thyroid checked after my second m/c. My TSH was 3.8, which is considered slightly high by some doctors (They normal range was decreased from a max of 5.5 to a max of 3 or 3.5 a few years ago, but not all docs have adopted the new change). My primary care luckily decided to treat it, so I'm on a small dose of synthroid, which has helped some other problems I've had a lot. I got my thyroid checked once a month in the first trimester, and will get it checked again at my next appt. For some women, the thyroid levels out, but for others, they need even more help. Mine has stayed pretty steady so far.

I chose a stand alone birth center for my birth. My midwife will do either homebirth or birth center birth, but at the birth center I have use of the birthing tub and insurance will cover the birth. For a homebirth, I would have had to rent a tub and pay for the entire birth. I had originally planned a hospital birth (partially from not knowing what other choices I had), but the hospital near me recently (Jan. 2007) changed the rules and a midwife can only deliver during business hours (and how many babies are born Monday-Friday between 8am and 5pm?)...
post #284 of 312
Happy birthday, PiePie! I hope it's lovely.

Happy birthday, Natalia -- I didn't realize it was yesterday! (Your niece is BEAUTIFUL.)

Thanks for answering my questions about homebirth. (Natalia -- I'm glad to be reminded I'm not the only one.) It's illegal for a midwife to attend here too and also my insurance ALMOST CERTAINLY won't cover it, but the upside of this is that midwives are way cheaper here than almost anywhere else I've heard of. I had forgotten about that money wrinkle. Yes, I'm using student loans for part of it. What, you thought I only bought shoes with my student loan money? (Rebecca: I hear you about having conflicted perspectives.)

Dee and Grace-- congrats on movement. It's so exciting... maybe even more exciting than first hearing the heart. My babe gets nuts around loud music as well. (There's that old wive's tale that the babe will be born 5 mos. from when you first felt movement.)

Dee, I don't think you're behind! (Also if you want copies of some cds pm me.)

27 weeks today. Officially the beginning of the 3rd trimester, I think. Belly has gone past cute to slightly alarming. Movement has changed too. It's not just sweet little taps anymore. Now nerve endings that have probably never had to register touch before are being asked to transmit the feel of limbs rolling across them. A head or a butt circumnavigating my whole waist FROM THE INSIDE. Occasionally, thrashing. It sometimes feels like there's an animal in there, and she WANTS OUT.

Natalia... I think what's at issue is the definition of pain. I've read several birth stories where women experience labor as pressure or discomfort, more than "pain," which I think for some people signals something more like suffering, if that makes sense. If you don't automatically withdraw from unfamiliar/uncomfortable sensation, then you can experience it as sensation more than pain, or as physical pain unaccompanied by the suffering of mental anguish that we often cloak pain with (fear, worry that permanent damage is being done, etc). Of course, this has to vary a lot depending on the physiology of the individual woman. But yeah, there are some stories out there where women don't experience any pain. Not sure what to make of those, but I figure, why not accept that as part of the possible birth spectrum?

I told you guys that my husband really wants to give the baby the mn of Pixel, yes? Seriously. Pixel. So if you're having name difficulties... at least your husband doesn't want to name your kid Pixel.
post #285 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by dctexan View Post
#1). DH is NOT comfortable with the idea of a HB. He is already kinda freaking out about the fact that I am going natural, trying for a water birth, that I am refusing all sorts of interventions. He is willing to play along with my wants/desires as long as it is all done under medical supervision. In a hospital setting DH feels secure in the knowledge that there are medical people all around who can swoop down and intervene if necessary (i.e thereby preventing my "crazy ideas" from jepordizing my life or the life of the babe).
This was my #2 reason for not going for a HB. The #1 reason was that I am on some level not comfortable with it, not trusting my body, etc. I would be more open to it for #2. I am going with a BC within a hosp., would prefer a free-standing BC but that's not available here : , if confronted with OB in hosp. vs. MW at home, it would have been a harder choice for me.

BTW, my DH used to be more skeptical of natural childbirth, but now he is convinced it makes the most sense physiologically!! He still worries, though, that if I don't get my dream birth experience, I will feel like a lesser woman, and he worries about that, so he doesn't want me to put so much stock in natural childbirth.
post #286 of 312
: Pie Pie!


: Natalia! (belated)


Grace congrats on feeling movement! Isnt' it amazing?


Back later for more...
post #287 of 312
Thread Starter 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATALIA & PIEPIE!!!!!!

36 is still mid 30s. You aren't late 30s until 37/38

Dee - I don't think you are behind on birth prep, sounds like you are reading and thinking and doing the things you need to be doing. You might want to start looking for a birthing class - just because (at least in ATL) there are very few "crunchy" classes available and they fill up pretty quickly. However, if you plan on taking a hospital class (or getting private lessons or have a lot of choice) you should be fine. Oh, the one book i found most helpful in preparing for labor was Birthing From Within. Now, thre was a lot of stuff that was waaayyy too "out there" for me (like visualization exercises, writing a letter to your baby, birth art, etc. I could take that or leave it, whatever. But I think in terms of talking about the birth experience and getting me ready to laor, that book was the best.
I too am VERY freaked out by the epi. I am MORE freaked out by the idea of an IV though (because I've had IVs and I know how crazy they make me. So uncomfortable). I worry that having an IV means that I will be pressured into all sorts of "helpful" interventions. I also very much equate IV with being a patient and i am trying super hard to avoid that role. One thing I am really liking about my prenatal class is that even though the focus is on helping us achieve/attempt a natural birth - the instructor really sets us up to understand that just because we want something doesn't mean it is going to happen and that it will be okay. The important thing is to be able to make an informed choice about what the next best thing might be and coming to peace with "doing the next best thing".
I know you asked Becky about doulas, but I wanted to chime in that a great resource for me (DH and I hired a doula as well) was the local find your tribe here on MDC. You might want to post over there and ask for doula recs.
Also, thanks for that link to the iron article. So far my RLS treatment plan has been iron supplement, calcium supplement, & magnesium supplement. I was going to add a vit. C supplement, but I eat like 3-4 helpings of fruit per day (plus take multivit) so I think I am getting 10000 times the RDA rec for vit. C anyway.
As for thyroid - my midwife does not routinely screen, but I asked her to check during my third appointment just because I was so freezing cold all the time. Apparently everything was fine. If you are concerned you can just ask them to run the test at your next visit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace24 View Post
I had to go observe Phantom of the Opera this evening as I'm taking over for one of the violinists for the rest of the summer. Baby either likes it or thinks it's waaayyy too loud cuz I got my first real kick tonight! I could feel it from the outside with my hand! So cool!
Julia - Woohoo for movement from the outside!!!! how exciting! The very first time I felt movement from the outside was after a yoga class. I know you practice yoga, so I kept meaning to mention it to you so that you could be on the lookout. I am so happy for you.

Natalia - For me BH feel like a tightening of the uterus - like a tiny muscle cramp or something. If I put my hand on the lower part of my abdomen, it feels rock hard, and very taunt. It isn't what I would call painful, but it definitely feels like something - maybe discomfort? I will get them if my bladder is full or if things are tight across my lower belly (like a seatbelt on a longish car ride).
LOVE the pic of Zaia!!! She is so lovely. Your sister must be on cloud 9.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmu204 View Post
So far, so good. They're enrolled in day camp via the YMCA (thank goodness for the YMCA!) so are having a pretty good time there. I made the mistake of telling them that they'd get to go fishing during one of the weeks of camp, and now they keep asking exactly when that is (not for another couple of weeks)! I think it's a good sign that they're so eager to go.

DH & I, on the other hand, are slightly frazzled. We're used to our quiet little life here in our quiet little house, and the sudden change has got us both freaked. We enjoy them, of course, but we keep looking at one another with that slightly dazed expression that says "Oooh. When The baby comes, we'll be outnumbered!":

Still haven't felt any movement yet : and it's driving me mad. I keep putting the hubster's hand on my belly and going "Oooh, what's that?" and he keeps having to tell me "It's just your pulse, honey." Nuts!
Cher - Glad to hear the kids are settling in. Wow, that must be such a change to go from 2 adult to 2 adults and 2 kids (with another on the way!!!) Sounds like you are adjusting well though.
As for movement, I think you should start feeling it some time in the next month. I think I felt my first flutters by just at 18 weeks (and they were really, really, light). You must keep us posted!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jpiper0430 View Post
Emily - I noticed my age isn't listed. I'm 31.
Gottcha Jen

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~minnow~ View Post
27 weeks today. Officially the beginning of the 3rd trimester, I think. Belly has gone past cute to slightly alarming. Movement has changed too. It's not just sweet little taps anymore. Now nerve endings that have probably never had to register touch before are being asked to transmit the feel of limbs rolling across them. A head or a butt circumnavigating my whole waist FROM THE INSIDE. Occasionally, thrashing. It sometimes feels like there's an animal in there, and she WANTS OUT.
I hear you on this. I hit the third trimester and was like "Whoa! Nothing about me is "cute" anymore". The good news is that you are in the home stretch. All of those thumbs, bumps, and growth means the babe is getting ready for her big appearance.
Thanks for the name reality check. I AM super glad DH doesn't want to name the kid Pixel. Our kid may be nameless, but he isn't Pixel. It might be time for you to pull out the veto power Lane.

So, are any of you taking a prenatal yoga class? I can't remember. If not, I have to say I HIGHLY recommend prenatal yoga. It has given me some really excellent coping skills and movement ideas for labor - plus it is like having a built in pregnancy support group where I can talk to about local resources and experiences. I LOVE IT.

Alright, enough. I MUST do some work.
post #288 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by dcgrl View Post

Re: Birthing from Within--I picked it up at the bookstore yesterday. I think it looks great, but I know my husband, and if we find ourselves in a childbirth class where we're asked to draw what we envision our labor/birth to be like, he'll either walk out or draw a sausage-shaped wife giving birth to a sausage-shaped son. He refuses to play pictionary because he can only render sausage-shaped shapes.
Oh my gosh this cracked me up!!! My husband would do the same thing (and frankly, I'm a bit weirded out by it too, especially using the non-dominant hand)!!! I get that it works for some people, but having been raised with a therapist mom who was ALL into every hokey, new-agey thing for a while there I still have my "you want me to WHAT" reaction to some of it... My dh can draw well, but I would end up with a stick figure me and a stick figure baby popping out.

Please know that I really am not knocking it for the people it works for. I truly believe that for a large number of people this stuff will work beautifully, it's my own repression and odd relationship with my mom that makes me not comfortable with it for myself.
post #289 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace24 View Post
I had to go observe Phantom of the Opera this evening as I'm taking over for one of the violinists for the rest of the summer. Baby either likes it or thinks it's waaayyy too loud cuz I got my first real kick tonight! I could feel it from the outside with my hand! So cool! And sorry in advance, baby, but there's nothing I can do about the volume...earmuffs on my belly won't help!
Yay for first big kick!!! I can feel this one moving from outside even when she just rearranges herself now. I Love it!!! There's something very cool about feeling it in and out. I bet she loves the music - she was probably conducting!
post #290 of 312
Elizabeth... she probably did love the music, but give her six weeks. We'll both hate it by then.

Happy Birthday Pie and Natalia!! Welcome to 36, it's been my best year! (It's the year I got pregnant! So it's been lucky so far...)

Um, if I take one of those birthing classes, I have to DRAW?? Oh crap.
post #291 of 312
Grace - I imagine 6 weeks of any music would drive you nuts... Still, it's so cool that you have such a creative job! I would love to have an actual "skill" - alas coordination is not among my strong suits!

Natalia - I like the pink, but I think I'd burn out on it and it also can't be used if we do this again and have a boy next time... Dh also isn't thrilled about a pink stroller, but at least he's on board on an actual COLOR! And, Zaia is beautiful!

Minnow - Pixel, um, hmmm... See, if it were you I'd think pregnancy hormones, but for your husband... I'm sorry. Can you get him a puppy? That'd be a good puppy name... And I'm with you on the belly size! I'm 26 weeks already (holy cow!!!) and am starting to flip out at my size. I have no idea how I can continue to get bigger for another 14 weeks! I'm no longer 'cute' by any means, but people do tell me I look 'good' which I guess means not pale or sickly? It's hard to feel good when I am fat EVERYWHERE (I have arm cellulite), frizzy hair with my gray growing in, and acne. Yeah, I'm a vision! Dh is getting more comfortable with my belly and will rub it now and feel for the baby more. He's also pushing his face into it and making odd noises at her. At first, I swear he was freaked out by it and was scared to touch it.

Okay - it's 5:30 and I have a ton of work left to do - I'm off to write!
post #292 of 312
Oh - one more thing...

I love this thread!!! Thanks for making me feel so at home!
post #293 of 312
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dcgrl View Post
Re: Birthing from Within--I picked it up at the bookstore yesterday. I think it looks great, but I know my husband, and if we find ourselves in a childbirth class where we're asked to draw what we envision our labor/birth to be like, he'll either walk out or draw a sausage-shaped wife giving birth to a sausage-shaped son. He refuses to play pictionary because he can only render sausage-shaped shapes.

laughup

Oh my goodness, I can't believe I forgot to comment on this.
Our very first exercise we had to do for our birthing class was draw our most vivid birth image on a white board. I am not artsy fartsy so I wasn't thrilled with the assignment, but I played along. I drew a stick figure preggo women walking upright, with a birthing pool, dim light (represented by a lamp) and a birthing ball. At first DH drew nothing. I then pretty much forced him to go draw (I was like, "DH there are 6 couples in this class, do you REALLY think you will be able to get away with NOT drawing your image?"). He "drew" a question mark. Can you say "cop out"?
post #294 of 312
Quote:
Becky how did you find your doula? I really want one and was surprised at how inexpensive they are, considering how much I think they can help.
Believe it or not, I googled "Doula" and my county and state and came up with a list of names. I emailed a bunch of them, only a few got back to me. Out of those few, I talked with one on the phone who felt she was too far away, and met with two others. I really liked one especially so that's who I chose. Glad to hear prices aren't too bad around you. In my area they're around $750-850 and up.

Pie! Happy belated birthday! Sorry I missed it!

Natalia, happy birthday to you too! Your niece and nephew are adorable!

I just love that all you guys are feeling such forceful movements. I still just feel thumps and bumps sometimes... I keep bringing it up at my appts and keep getting told it's due to the placement of my placenta, which is apparently cushioning most of her movements. I wish so bad I could feel her more... she always has a nice, strong heartbeat so we know she's ok, I just never get those take-your-breath-away or "whoa!!" kind of kicks and movements.
post #295 of 312
Happy belated birthday Pie and Natalia!

I just freaked myself out by going to the birth stories thread. I need to just not go there anymore - I keep thinking I'll be able to find some stories about positive hospital births, but even the titles freak me out. Too many sad/upsetting/miserable stories that I just can't process. I wish they'd set up a separate forum for positive stories and support-type stories so that I don't have to hear about the trauma people experience... I'm scared enough! I feel for them, but I will be in a better position to be supportive once I actually have this little one!
post #296 of 312
Natalia I'm sorry your DH argued with you about names (not in a nice way) while you were out to dinner on your birthday. That's terrible.

I think I just started having Braxton-Hicks "surges" this past week. It doesn't hurt, it just feels weird, like there's a bowling ball down there or something. Heavy and tight and round.

Cher good call on YMCA camp! Keeps them occupied for at least several hours a day while you're getting adjusted to each other. I hope the frazzled-ness settles down soon.

Jenn that's awesome that your DH is interacting w/ the belly/baby every night. My DH had "a moment" when he first felt her kick and he's felt her every night since then & loves it. He jokes about how she's a night owl like him and I told him they'd be great friends, rocking together at night b/c I'm a morning person. It's totally real to him now. I'm so happy! We even talked about getting a rocker/glider at yard sales, which is a huge deal b/c he works nights and hates getting up early, especially on his days off.

Thanks Jenn and Emily for the thyroid info. I may ask my doc but I think everything's fine - I'm hot more often than I'm cold, for once in my life! I can't remember why I was worrying about it!

I feel better to know I'm not really behind on birth prep. Emily I just put Birthing From Within on hold through inter-library loan, along with some others I've seen recommended like The Birth Partner and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I'm also scared of having an IV for the same reason - I don't want any "helpful" drugs slipped in when I'm not looking. I wonder if nurses hate doing hep locks? Freedom of movement is a biggie for me too.

Emily I know you know this, but I had to put it out there that calcium and iron inhibit each other's absorption so they should be taken at different times of day. Vitamin C promotes absorption of both. Don't know anything about magnsium but I'm guessing it's like calcium. :

PiePie I think my DH is more in favor of natural childbirth than I am. I don't want to let him down (or myself for that matter) but I'm trying to be open to all possibilities and recognize that it's a crazy experience and crazy things happen. I have strong preferences for how it will go but they may not match reality. Don't wanna set myself up for a letdown b/c I'm already at increased risk for PPD.

Lane I loved your description of painless childbirth as an option within the spectrum of feelings. Seriously, remind your DH that in 30 years "pixel" will be the equivalent of "cathode ray tube" - obsolete technology. I think it's kinda cute (in a Pixie way) but I would veto it immediately as well.

Elizabeth - yeah I have a hard time with the birth stories so I stay away from there. We'll have our own stories soon, and hopefully they'll all be good!

Becky that was a good way to thin the pool of doulas to the ones who are actually interested! I'm lucky they're only about $350 here, so I feel it's totally worth it. Some doulas-in-training do it for free b/c they need to attend 3 births to get certified, too. Sorry you're not feeling much movement - I've heard anterior placentas can obscure a LOT of movement too. How's it going with closing on your house and securing daycare?
post #297 of 312
Happy belated birthday Pie and Natalia!

I just freaked myself out by going to the birth stories thread. I need to just not go there anymore - I keep thinking I'll be able to find some stories about positive hospital births, but even the titles freak me out. Too many sad/upsetting/miserable stories that I just can't process. I wish they'd set up a separate forum for positive stories and support-type stories so that I don't have to hear about the trauma people experience... I'm scared enough! I feel for them, but I will be in a better position to be supportive once I actually have this little one!

Edit - sorry for the repeated post - my computer is being extremely slow and I clicked "send" twice. This shows you HOW slow the computer is being... It took it a few to post the 2nd time!
post #298 of 312
Bump!

Not much to say, I just like it when we're on the front page.
post #299 of 312
BIRTH BOOKS: It's too early to say what would be the most helpful, but out of what I have read I would recommend Simkin and/or Sears.
post #300 of 312
PiePie I feel like you have read everything. And I know you work a ton too. Are you still able to read on your commute? Or are you just a superhuman reading machine?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: I'm Pregnant
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › Pregnant w/ #1 in our 30s June Thread