Montessori and AP

[Lashlock]

Hi Ladies, I"m a big lurker and dont post much (I dont have kids yet and dont have alot to actually add yet but I learn SO much from you guys. We recently picked up Montessori from the Start because we plan on doing Montessori type methods and having a montessori home with our kids (I was a montessori kid). We've been researching parenting methods for about a year and a half and are very strongly AP in our beliefs.. MFTS really seems to be anti AP and started concerning me in how anti-AP it really was, as I strongly lean towards Maria's beliefs and AP methods
I"ve dug around on the boards here and read that that book has irritated others in the same way and that montessori isnt actually that AP, so my question are:
1. How have you incoporated montessori with your AP beliefs
2. have you had any areas that did not match on principle or belief? for instance MFTS recommends weaning at 9 months :
can you co-sleep AND use a child bed..
it seems to recommend NOT picking up your children when they cry and I worry about baby wearing

[Drummer's Wife]

I actually think Montessori and attachment parenting have a lot in common. I am trained in AMI for ages 0-3 so I heard many lectures about Maria's beliefs and recomendations for the first few years of life.

Such as, the post partum period was termed the symbiotic period where mother (and father) and new baby bond without unnecessary interuption from the rest of the world and mom and baby are almost never separated. Literally, as baby should be held or worn in a sling not carried around in a plastic car seat or sat in any containers such as a play yard or baby swing, etc.

Montessori did advocate the use of a moses type of basket for the baby to sleep in in the beginning but in the parents room, right next to the bed. And I remember mentioning of cultural or family reason's for bed-sharing. Though she talks about a floor bed and eventually in the chlild's own room the important thing about sleeping arrangements are allowing the child to have as much independance as possible. So if they can climb in and out of the family bed (mattresses on the floor makes that easier) than it's up to each family to decided where they want to sleep.

As for weaning, my understanding coming out of training was that the weaning process started between 5-7 month but did not abruptly end at 9 months or a year. Weaning is a process so if MFTS says wean at 9 months I take that to mean introduce food as a way of weaning the child from the breast. But that's not the end all to nursing.

When I worked in a Nido we most definitely did not let babies cry. Their independance was encouraged by freedom of movement in the environement but they had to have a strong sense of trust in their care provider in order to fulfill that.

I do think Montessori and AP can work well together. They have many similarities as well as balance one another out.

We co-sleep mostly in the same bed but have had a small futon mattress on the floor for when we need our own space and our 2 year old is now starting to sleep in another room with his big bro. He is also still nursing at 27 months and I love wearing my 2 month old in a sling.

I consider myself AP and incorporate many Montessori ideals while raising our children.

I think they are both about "following the child" and it's all in how you interpret the suggestions.

[Lashlock]

ok that really starts to help me out.. I believed myself that both AP and montessori are about following the child and using alot of what are natural instincts and proven principles.. thank you for helping me guide more of my research and questions

[Flor]

From a totally unresearched perspective:

The parents at our M. school are the most AP group in our town. The teachers are loving and very knowledgable about child development and have always been respectful of the child's attachment to the parents. About the only AP thing I've found at our M. school is that parents are not encouraged to particpate in the classroom. Observe, sure, but only if you must. I've read the Absorbent Mind, and the Child in the Family and did not find them un-AP. And in practice, I find our particular school to be very AP in a city that is very un-AP.

[Boernemama]

A great website to look at is www.montessorifamilies.com It gives parents information on how to incorporate Montessori ideas in your home. My friend is the CEO of the company behind the website and did a lot of babywearing as well as breastfeeding until her daughter was ready to stop. Her daughter also slept in their room with a co-sleeper and when she was ready moved to her own floor bed. I agree with Drummer's Wife that really the most important thing is allowing your child to have as much independence as possible. If they want to sleep with you, Great! but when they are ready to sleep on their own, allowing them that freedom.

[chekhovgirl]

Pick up a new book called "How to Raise an Amazing Child the Montessori way" by Tim Seldin. It's a beautiful, simple book. I haven't read Montessori from the Start, but I know a lot of people have issues with it. That's pretty much why I didn't read it. I *believe* that Maria didn't actually have a specific philosophy for infants/toddlers- that other people structured these programs just based on her work with other age groups- somebody correct me if I'm wrong here...

I could write more on my experience with the philosophies of AP and Montessori, but I have to run, maybe I can check in tomorrow.

[ecstaticmama24]

We combine montessori and AP in our home, and it works quite well. We have a floor bed, and still cosleep (don't ask me how it works) LOL!! He basically spends half the night in his room, then comes in with us and nurses the other half. I also babywear, but encourage him to explore and walk whenever the opportunity arrises.

If you want to check out my blog, I posted a few pictures on how I set up my baby's montessori room. When I was trying to organize his room, I found nothing online, but based his room on ideas from Montessori from the Start, and also Michael Olaf.

http://www.andigoes.blogspot.com

Try to remember that you don't have to be extreme either way, and both styles of parenting compliment eachother beautifully.

Andrea