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May '04 babes are growing up to be CHILDREN. - Page 8

post #141 of 268
EL took all my thoughts with regards to your post, Renae. You had me thinking about control and rules and how to navigate that difficult territory with a 3yo. Alison is ace at this - she is a middle school teacher with an early childhood development degree after all. A lot of what you are describing is the same stuff I struggle more with than Alison does (it takes me 20 minutes to get out of the house with eleanor when it'll take her 2 minutes). Maybe there is parenting class that would be helpful - here there is a great parenting program with age specific classes that I sometime think would be helpful to me. Just a thought.

I am thinking I will go to Michigan in a day or two because the news today is that my dad is coming home for hospice care tomorrow rather than stay at the hospital. He's stable and alert and my mom would like help in a few days to get organized rather than during the transition. I will keep you all posted and I appreciate your thoughts.

okay, off to bathe - something I can't recall the last time I did :
post #142 of 268
Oh my goodness.

Hugs to you, Lisa. I am glad things are clearer now. I'm sorry you are going through this and am watching your graceful process with admiration and respect.

Claudia, Happy Birthday to your first! Been thinking about you.

Same to you, Miss fresh Juicy juice. Except to your second.

Emmalola, your mama's behavior sounds difficult and frustrating. I think it is hilarious you appropriated a wild snake for a pet. I did that when I was in middle school, with a few worm snakes we found in the woods. Lasted about a week before my mom made me get rid of 'em.

Heather- Hope E feels better and YOU, too! Was the inhaler for you?

Renae - Lily is doing a lot of the same. I find it extremely difficult to follow through with limit-setting. I feel it is important and agree for the most part with emmalola. It is hard for me to find a balance between respectful, parent-led limit-setting and the distasteful idea of "punishment." I think I have a complex. DH is too hard on her (for my tastes), yet I resort to things like bribes when my patience wears thin. Which I don't like, but I don't know what else to do. The main problem is that we don't have time to think about this stuff and create a unified plan for dealing with what is, I truly believe, normal 3-year-old stuff (that drives me absolutely BONKERS because I am already stressed to my limit with other stuff in life right now).

I finished my big paper and had one of big exams today. Blah. One more biggie tomorrow and I am done, oh plus a bunch of excruciating data entry that I have been avoiding all quarter. Also must start thinking about packing for this 2-month trip that is happening in 2 days. O. M. G.

I need a nap. Like a 24-hour nap.

post #143 of 268
OK, I just got back froma board meeting for preschool. It ended early (10PM)

3 yo are the worst. Even J does these things and N asked me why she is being so difficult. And J is so mellow and easy going. This is causing major sibliing issues because J is not willing to just go along with N anymore, only she would if it weren't for some preprogramed 3yo thing that is occuring. Instead she resists whatever N suggest, and she is not used to compromising at all with J (though she is great at it with others) and then J will hit N. This all started june 1st. Yes, exactly 1 day after turning 3!

I don't think that both parents have to parent the same. We are different people and we can have different techniques. Not that I would call what DH does a technique but :
I do think that it is important to be a united front in the moment and to back each other up in the moment and work out any dissagreement later. DH is very good about this and even if I am being totally unreasonable he will back me up. We often discuss later and realize that I could and should have handled something better. I am not very good at not taking over for him when he is supposed to be in control so that is something I need to be working on.

and when the above fails - yell really loud!

post #144 of 268
Thread Starter 
Random replies (ISP was down yesterday)....

Lisa, I'm glad you're going to get out there to say good-bye to your dad. I agree with everything that has been said. This is a difficult time, to say the least.... I've been thinking of you and will continue.

The 3 thing/difficult age/setting boundaries/agreeing with partner about parenting... doing a lot of nodding my head, but not necessarily about Z (T was a *much* more difficult 3 yr old, to be perfectly frank... I think Z got his "difficult" stage in a little younger, more like 2). I also have to use different techniques with Z than I did with T, so I hope everyone is remembering the proverbial grain of salt. I guess the thing that helped me the most with T was getting out (ironically) when he was driving me crazy. I think I've told you guys about our "going for a trike ride" technique. When Z was a little baby, some days, I think we'd go for 5 or more rides around the block. He would just be going crazy, and it seemed to focus him a bit (and focus me). And the nap. And making sure he got enough to eat. He is *still* such a creature of habit. Otherwise, just . I agree about the whole limits things. With T and setting limits, sometimes, I'd just have to remind myself (over and over and over): "This is developmentally appropriate! This is developmentally appropriate! This is how he's learning limits!" And I can say that now, at almost 6, he "gets" limits really well, does really great with them at school. (Conversely, when he has no limits--ie, with my mom--he's so d@amned good at working the situation.)

Have I mentioned that I have cracks all the way around both nipples from L and teething? :

Gonna try to reconstruct and time-stamp-edit yesterday's blog post...
post #145 of 268
OMG, you guys are still around? WOW!!! I belonged to the May 04 Due Date Club and kinda lost touch after I had Lukas. I didn't even go on MDC much and am now active in the Oct and Nov DD Club. This is the first time in ys I checked teh Toddler Forum again.
I even remember some names...WOW!
I guess a littel update is overdue: Lukas just turned 3 and is a very active, very energetic and dramatic child. He fight with and imitates his older brother as much as he can. Since he's such a handful he was sure to be our last child but I recently lost a whoooole bunch of weight and apparently the diaphragm didn't fit anymore. So #3 is due end of October :

It's so great I found you guys again, will keep posting along
post #146 of 268
Annika, I remember you! Congrats on your newest! Many of us have had subsequent muffins as well...several still baking in the oven as we speak...

TOTALLY EFFIN EXCITED LADIES BECAUSE I am going to purchase (most likely, it's still not a done deal) a Toyota RAV 4! 1998! I am so psyched. Just today it's all goin' down so I am just beside myself.

Thanks, Uncle Sam! Yeah baby! Head of household two dependents!!!! Single motherhood pays off for once!
post #147 of 268
reading along and i've been wanting to post. i should be heading for my nap right now (oh precious window of opportunity!!)

hugs and thoughts for lisa xoooox. i'm glad you are going.

it is good to hear the 'limits' talk for me. i'm a super softie by nature with the 'won't he just want to be good because he wants to?' thoughts. but after my mom and dh were both telling me our dear isaac was walking all over me i had to change my approach. and it has definitely paid off. part of it was working with doug to decide what was ok. what was not. how we handled tantrums. what we set for the rules. and he is consequently a much more pleasant child now. and wow he listens sometimes! :

babo calls.
post #148 of 268
I am leaving tonight and will be back next week - I feel I should tell you all this even though it's not exactly unusual for me to have a week pass between posts. Thank you all for your thoughts and good wishes...it really does help and matters a lot to me.
post #149 of 268
Lisa. Thinking of you and your family.
post #150 of 268
lisa: peace and love and lots of MMF hugs to you... for your father

post #151 of 268
Lisa- I am so glad you are able to go. s

Annika- yes, I remember you! You had a different user name back then. And I also remember you checking in with us once when the kiddos were about 1 or so. Good to hear from you again, and congrats on the little one in the "oven."
post #152 of 268
Claudia- I don't think I ever wished M a happy birthday. Happy very belated birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, I am thinking of you in your watchfulness with S. That would totally stress me out. I think you are much better about being even-kealed about these things.

post #153 of 268
i'm starting to remember what that waking up every 2 hours all night long thing feels like : LOOPY!

i should be paying bills right now. the looooooong overdue paycheck finally arrived. yahooty

happy bday to miss allison too! (or spelled alison?) my brain is fried.

i can't remember if i got to post about it but i was heading to that babywearing class at zenana spa the other night. i got there and got out of the car and then realized there was some smoke coming out of the roof of the building next to the spa. by the time i realized the building was really ON FIRE my car got totally blocked in by firetrucks. about 8 of them showed up within 30 seconds. so i was stuck and there were many ladies holding babies hanging out on the corner for a little while. finally i realized my car was not going anywhere for at least several hours so i had doug come get me. of course isaac knew i was at a fire and he is *obsessed* with fire trucks. so he had a screaming tantrum that he couldn't come see it too. i took pictures for him and he also saw it on the news. not quite the babywearing thing i was expecting! isaac keeps saying 'there was a fire at your meeting!' yep.

ok. babe is content sitting in his poopy pants but he needs a change!
post #154 of 268
Lisa, thanks for the update.

jstar, that is crazy about the fire. I hope everyone was ok.

I remember you too, Annika. Welcome back!

Elsanne - congrats on the wheels.

We are leaving tomorrow morning. Packed this morning and now I'm about to go to Bodyworlds with a friend. Next time I post I'll be in Maine!

post #155 of 268
Sesame Place, take 2 derailed by *cold* weather! : I actually had to dig out sweatshirts for the girls to wear to the park this morning!

Sarah----take me with you!! I can't wait til our trip there in August. Where are you visiting?
post #156 of 268
Wow, it is so bleeping hot here it is insance. DH and I have been bickering because I am too haot and tired.
I am going to shower and then go to bed. I had a beer to help that along.
post #157 of 268
Thanks for the welcome, guys. I can't believe how many of you from the original DDC are still around.
Gonna take ma a while to get caught up

I'm excited, going in for my 20 wk U/S today. We'll find out the sex of the baby, as I've had enough surprises this year. First the pregnancy, which was totally unplanned. What WAS planned, was dh's vasectomy end of March
Then my mom got diagnosed w cancer, luckily w chemo she's going to be ok in 1/2 year or so, but it was an eye opener: we've decided to move back to Germany next year to be closer to my family. Finally, I've been homesick ever since I've stepped foot on American soil

Send some open legs vibes my way, please... Update later today
post #158 of 268
I've had an interesting few days....check blog for deets!

Annika, whaddya mean "open legs vibe"? I am sorting through all the vibes I know how to send and I just can't find that one...
post #159 of 268
open legs= cooperating baby!! How exciting! Sounds like we're due around the same time.

Els---wowza! Thinking of your friend...how scary! yay for woo-woo car though!! That cracked me up.

Today has been a day so far. Tried to salvage by making some muffins but my teaspoon measure was nowhere to be found so guesstimating left the muffs a bit off. oh well. must run to grocery store and get something for din-din. tgif!
post #160 of 268
Open legs! I hope everything turns out well, annika!

I'm just completely tapped out. Not sure if this is run of the mill depression or just exhaustion. My mom's visit was really difficult (never chose a therapist as your mother!) and the lentil has been super SUPER clingy and needy. I just want to sit in the tub and cry. No, what I really want is a few days to myself without everyone in my family telling me that they NEED me. sigh.

Lisa- thinking of you.
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