May '04 babes are growing up to be CHILDREN. - Page 10

[Mama Faery]

I'm here, for a moment.
Thinking with love of you all, been feeling kinda...well, great about our summer, because there's all sorts of fun stuff going on for us, Newport this week (starting Friday, till next Friday) and then my younger brother is coming to visit in mid July (haven't seen him since January of 2000! ), and THEN I am going to NY state to have a fangirly weekend with some fellow AFI dorks who are actually MY AGE and then...Hawaii. and and

Things with Rowan have been not great, I dread any outings, this morning's birthday party was HELL, and well...we have at least two more this summer, one next Saturday for an adult friend of ours (but there will be many toddlers there, toddlers he KNOWS, but he will still freak out, I guarantee it) and then another toddler birthday in July. I want to sequester myself and my son because I don't want to deal but I also want to FORCE the little poop to GO and DEAL, and I always end up having to do a little of both. He FREAKS, then sits alone for upwards of an HOUR, and then he'll play happily for the last hour or so. Nothing I can do but what I'm doing.

I HAVE read the book that has been recommended, Raising Your Spirited Child, but I think I ought to check it out of the library for a second perusing. I have a hard time with all the "advice" out there, I've been feeling rather cynical about it. Because talking to actual parents seems to help more, because well, no matter what sorts of advice and ideas the books have, it's still a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants sort of deal. We are in HELL for a little while, and then, all of a sudden, it's over...only in time for something new to start up to take its place!
Sometimes it's nice to talk to other mamas and know that they're either going through the same sort of thing or have gone through it, and emerged intact. So I am trying to keep a handle on it, though this morning I thought I had lost my sanity along with my soul. This afternoon was better, he's napping again occasionally and it makes for a more pleasant Pooperton until bedtime.

Annika, I don't think we've met! I'm Renae. Anyone else come on board while I've been AWOL?

I you all and I hope no one's written me off! I still think of you ALL, ALL the time!!

Oh, another time-taker...I am the lay minister at our church this weekend. I am giving the service (with the help of many others, but EEP! Still!) and I am excited and freaking the f*&k out at the same time! Hahaha.

So, there's my update. More again another time.

[KKmama]

Oh, dude...

I was hesitant to offer advice in the first place because I know sometimes what is needed more is just a hug (but I gave advice anyway . I also want to reiterate than yeah, everyone's child is different, and anything I/we offer may not fit. At all.

If it helps at all... T was a *real* handful at 3. Moreso than everyone else's 3 year old it seemed. (I had my private moments wondering if he was okay, if I was just a crappy parent, etc.) But we're through it. And one of my closest friends IRL... her dd is even more of a handful. She's the 4.5 yr old I mentioned above (who said lovely things about T today)... she is an amazing, complicated, deep child, but she is difficult. And she has been since she was, oh, about 2. It's not a phase; it's who she is. Some kids, even with great parents and parenting, are just that way.
So just hoping I for one didn't offend you...

Good luck this Sunday. I'm giving a service myself in July.

[Mama Faery]

Originally Posted by KKmama

Oh, dude...

I was hesitant to offer advice in the first place because I know sometimes what is needed more is just a hug (but I gave advice anyway . I also want to reiterate than yeah, everyone's child is different, and anything I/we offer may not fit. At all.

Oh oh oh! NO worries, KK! I didn't mean my FRIEND'S advice! I meant books, and magazines, and BabyCenter, THAT sort of advice!!!
Hearing from REAL mamas that I KNOW, mamas who have some sort of real idea at what I'm going through...that is SO TOTALLY OKAY!!!

I was actually telling Joe that one of the good things about sticking around the party this morning was hearing from other parents of 3 year olds and knowing that there ISN'T anything "wrong" with Rowan...I mean, he practically had a panic attack today when we got there.

Which actually leads me to a question; would you stop going to parties altogether at this point? I just wonder if going to my friend's party this weekend would just be stupid, driving an hour (when we will be in Newport!) just to have to deal with upwards of an hour of panic attack, knowing that eventually he'l get over it?

I dunno.

No, PLEASE feel free to share your experiences/thoughts with me! Sorry I wasn't more clear. My brain has truly been utter mush lately.

I can barely read books and magazines I WANT to read. Haha.

Okay, off for something sweet, like ice cream.

[TurboClaudia]

renae: i totally could have written your post about the birthday party like every week for the past 17. there is a group of local mdc mamas (west side of portland) and we get together pretty regularly, and marek KNOWS all the kids, talks about them all the time, but every time we go anywhere to meet up with them (a house, the park, the fountain, wherever) he does this "mommy, i neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed you..." thing and wants me to pick him up, and just observe the rest of the crowd and be on the sidelines and pick him up and half the time i have stefan on my back in the ergo, the other half stefan is nursing or needing my intervention to protect him for ebullient 1 year olds, so i really don't have the time or the hands or the strength to be holding a 3 year old for as long as he wants to be held. inevitably, i offer him food or he asks for some snack, and then he sits for a while and surveys the situation and starts to engage in play.

but i have resorted to asking him shortly after we get to wherever and he's not engaging, "we came to play with our friends, with paul and henry and ruby and naia and whoever, but you seem to be having a hard time. would you like to stay and play or would you like to go home? going home is okay, if you want." it's a pain in my ass, especially since the mamas have become good friends of mine and it's nice to connect with parents who parent the same way we do. i left once when i just couldn't deal, and i have walked him outside at least a few more times and he always asks (no, whines) to go back in but doesn't immediately engage. i know that's just his way of doing stuff, but it really is a pain in my ass. thankfully the mamas know it's his modus operandi and they just give him his space. the kids are usually too busy playing to notice, but sometimes they are very persistent at wanting him to join and that's a learning curve for marek, too, to tell them, "no thank you, i don't want to go on the climber right now" and be okay with it and for them to learn to respect his space.

i feel like i'm not making much sense but that's probably more the flu-ey thing i've been fighting all day which started with a sore throat and moved to achey body.

jess, if you're reading this, i think we'll have to postpone tomorrow for a bit because i don't want to infect you and ebin and your household. marek and stefan appear to have drippy noses from the whole deal that don't seem allergy related.

okay, off to wake my napping 3 year old. : last night going to bed was hell because he napped from 3 to 5 and tonight he's napping from 545 to 615. grrrr.... he really needs to nap earlier but he never winds down enough during the earlier time frame.

~claudia

[Sarah'sMama]

[QUOTE=KKmama;8425327]Ack, Juice! Sorry about the bladder/kidney worries. I hope you get results soon. :hag



Wow, KK, aren't you the picture of upliftingness! Offering a hag! I thought I'd seen it all....until now

Juice, keeping my fingers crossed for good news. :hag oh wait! I'll give a

Renae, no advice, I'm not sure what I'd do in your shoes. On the one hand, you want to follow his lead and make him comfortable, but on the other hand, you have needs and wants that need ot be met as well. I think I'd probably go, and talk alot about the party to him before hand. Let him know what to expect, and let him know who will be there and maybe what you will be doing. And maybe give a little guideline of how you would like him to act, little pointers, like if he is scared, come find mama, or if he needs x, ask y sort of thing. Katie does soooo much better in a situation if she knows ahead of time what's going on, and what to expect. I do alot of talking to her before we go somewhere that she'll need to be quiet and cooperative. HTH, if not, here's a :hag or , take your pick.

[jstar]

a :hag or a love it.


ugh the achey thing is the worst-- i hope it isn't a major illness claudia. i had a very close call with mastitis on friday night. big sore boob with a mega red stripe on the sore duct and then i started to get achey. ebin decided to feed for hours and hours which saved me. and i probably posted about this already but i have no memory :

i bought a ring sling today and then grocery shopped with ebin! success. he is sleeping right now so i should wash the bigger kiddo

i watched the birthing video and it just looks sort of unreal to me. wacky stuff that birthin'


i think i'd keep going to parties with rowan, renae. it is probably the best thing rather than avoiding social things. but maybe hold rowan as much as possible til he warms up (?). or leave early if he gets too overwhelmed.

i definitely think they're all so different and what works for one may not work for another. it is kind of hard to offer advice when you don't know a child in real life kwim. i do a lot of things i didn't think i'd do. and its all by the seat of my pants

juice - i hope you get results soon on the strep test. that would be very worrisome. and that sucks you're feeling tense and on edge. your week sounded really intense though! even when all that is 'normal' your body might just be saying 'whoaaa stressout!' i hope things chill out a bit for you

[Miss Juice]

Morning, gals. No call from the ped yesterday but I have ot assume no news is good news. I'll call them this morning once they open. I'm actually feeling a lot better this morning. AF showed up last night and I put my grumpy self in bed extra-early, so I'm feeling more rested. Less stressy overall. Never experienced anxiety as a symptom of PMS before, but I guess it's possible?

Thanks for the :hag and the s :

Yay for shopping success Jstar! I feel so accomplished when my errands run smoothly.

The party thing is tricky, isn't it... I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been mentioned, but here's a Allison is also a much easier 3-year old (so far) than Caitlyn was. Or I'm more resilient. Or something.

TC : for quickly passing symptoms.

[Miss Juice]

Ped update - strep culture was negative. YAY! So we just have to go back in 6 weeks to do a repeat UA. Fun, fun, getting a 3yo to pee in a cup. (Guess it might be easier with a boy?)

[Sarah'sMama]

Yay! for negative cultures for the juiclet!

Going strawberry picking this morning.

[KKmama]

Ack, did I wish Juice a :hag? Oh carp. : for me... Yea for the neg culture!

Renae, wasn't sure if you meant us... I got plenty of unsolicited advice when T was 3, and it really me. Also... one of my good friends has a son for for quite a while just wouldn't interact at play groups, birthdays, etc. We all just let him play by himself, in another room, whatever. He's out of that phase now. Another friend has a little boy who just doesn't deal well with busy busy social situations. They tend to make their stays brief. I think it's totally okay to do things differently if that's what your child needs. (Saying that--sometimes, Mama needs to get out, and compromise has to be learned by the child, too.)

Jacquie, I wouldn't mind hearing that you and yours are okay... I read in the paper this morning that a bunch of people in your area are being evacuated because of a forest fire...

We finally got T's Trail A Bike. Got it put together (rather too late last night) and I just *had* to ride it around the block with him. Z was up too late and totally fell apart at bedtime--the gasping cry, y'know. I snuggled him to sleep, feeling guilty. I think I'll hook up the train (bike-trail a bike-trailer) and go for a ride around the neighborhood this morning. Then wait for the plumber, then go to the store for T's chocolate chips for cookies.

[jstar]

yay for the negative strep culture!

getting out of the house in the am has never been my forte. and mr. big child had to be at school by 9 with sack lunch in hand for a field trip today. i set my alarm and went into the whirlwind mode and was feeling smug until i couldn't find the car keys. frantic searching ensued and then i finally found them buried in the couch cushions. phew that was a close one. we got there at 8:55 i thought dh had used my keys to lock my car last night because i told him my back window was still down. nope - he didn't get that i meant 'will you go close my window?' (which i should have just said). so all night my back window was down with the marathon thrown in the back. amazingly the carseat was still there (thank you godesses) and i don't think any cats or racoons slept in the car. and i live in a pretty high crime area!

now that my visitors are gone and isaac is at school i have this 'guilty' feeling that i'm just lounging at home. i wonder how long that will take to pass?? my new life of leisure! which is more like the life of laundry!


diaper questions for ya'll. i switched to cloth again now that i am down to 5 sposies and my MIL is gone. anyhoot. my question: i can't get around the nighttime concept. what do you do for night for a newborn? the prefolds get so wet so quickly i hate to have him in one for hours and hours. and last night he fell asleep at 11 and we were in bed until 7:30 with only one barely-awake feeding (stuck a boob in his mouth at 4:30). so no dipe changes that whole time (i had him in a sposie). i can't imagine he'd be that content in cloth? should i stick with sposies at night? previous nights when he's woken more i've changed him 2 or 3 times. but if he's sleeping....i'm not inclined to wake and change him

so i quit doing the trifold and started using the snappi and no more leaks! awesome.

[orangecanoe]

Jess...at night we've always used fuzzi bunz or something with a doubler topped w/ fleece. Or just use the sposies...no biggie!

tired. that is all.

[TurboClaudia]

fleece or microfleece layer next to the skin or fuzzubunz or happy heiny for nighttime here, too. once they stop pooping at each feeding, that is. i change with every poop or when wet with newborns.

feeling better but still headachy and drippy nose. stefan had a bit of a fever last night and now a drippy nose and marek has a drippy nose, too.

need lunch.

~claudia

[mamameg]

hey y'all. just popping in to say hi. lots of ups and downs here. today is down, just trying to keep my head above water. trying to remember that when i feel like this, i need to reach out, not retreat. so this is me, reaching out. love you guys. :

[orangecanoe]

Megan---- ***hugest hugs*** Is there something you can do for just you today?? Sounds like a day for us to meet at Starbucks and let the kids run crazy while we relaxed! ....oh the darn distance!

[mamameg]

oh heather.... something just for me today? now that's just crazy talk. actually, no, nothing like that is in the cards. john is out of town for work until late tomorrow night, and my mom's sister is visiting, so she declined any help for me this week. we are supposed to meet a friend at the library in an hour. i guess that means i need to feed the kids some lunch or something. oh yeah, that. :

[orangecanoe]

Days like today when I wish the girls were cats and could fend for themselves...kwym!! Steal away from the kiddie section and get yourself a book at least!! I'm avoiding the library atm, what with the $20 in overdue fines looming! :

[mamameg]

wait, does spacing out on the web while my kids beat on each other count as doing something for myself? if it does, i've been doing that all morning! :

oh, don't even get me started on library fines. i don't check books out at all because i am the WORST at returning them on time. if at all. : :

[Miss Juice]

meg.

Here's a real story from our house this morning to make someone smile.

DD1 (5.5 yrs) starts yelling at Allison.
Me: (from the kitchen) Please don't yell at your sister.
DD1: She's pouring lemonade on Ethan's head.
Me: Allison, we do not pour lemonade on people. (another thing to add to the list of "things I never thought I'd hear myself say to another human)
Allison: No, mommy! I asked Ethan can I pour this on you! And he didn't say NO!
Me: Well, he doesn't exactly talk yet, so you'll have to take my word for it.
Allison: No, mommy! I asked him! He didn't say no!

What more can I say?

[Sarah'sMama]

Love ya meg!

Maybe thsi will make you smile!

At the strawberry patch, there was this retired couple picking berries. They were both bent way over rummaging through to find the berries. Sarah says to me, wide eyed, "Mom, I see a BUTT!" The man had the biggest butt crackage evAR. Not just an innocent coin slot, but a full moon. Luckily he was far enough ahead of us that I don't think he heard, but I qucikly told her to be quiet about the man's butt.