I'm all about G rated conception stories; I used an Instead cup and a needleless syringe.
I've been TTC with known donors off and on for over a year. It's been a major roller coaster ride. Last Christmas, my teenaged son ran away from home and the following day
came despite the faint second line that only ds and I had seen. I don't honestly know whether it was a chemical pg or if we had been imagining the faint positive. Whether it was the stress from losing my little boy or my hormones being out of whack from a chemical pg, my cycles went totally wacky after that; I had ben able to predict
's arrival down to the hour before.
Without getting into too much detail about ds's situation, it began to look like TTC would be a bad idea and also like Menopause was catching up with me; I felt like I had lost two children in rapid succession. It didn't help that dd turned 18 and suddenly I wasn't a mother any more, much less a dedicated experienced crunchy homeschooling homebirthing extended breastfeeding babywearing single mama, I was just a chronically unemployed bum.
One problem I had been having with TTC prior to my world falling apart is that I don't exactly produce a lot of EWCM. One day out of the blue I found a huge gob of it on the TP and then almost immediately received an email from my most promising donor asking me if I was ready to try again. He had no idea what had happened with ds or with my charts.
We made tenative plans at another attempt. I wound up with the first perfectly normal cycle since ds left, looked at the calendar and started feeling all woo-wooo when I realized that the best insem date, assuming that I was FINALLY getting back to my normal pattern, would be on Mother's Day. I must have asked KD a dozen times if he was SURE it was okay and that he didn't need to spend that day with his own mother. He said it was fine, so I popped the money order for his travel expenses in the mail and waited for
.
She didn't show.
I called KD to let him know that I hoped to reschedule, but since he is only available on weekends because of his work schedule, I wasn't very hopeful and I was disappointed that it totally threw off the timing for Shettles.
kept away for exactly one week. I didn't know what to make of my chart, but my intuition told me to hold off on the first insem (after KD had abstained for three days to build up a strong supply of healthy swimmers) until Saturday instead of doing it on Friday. We did one AM and one PM insem.
TBH, the way my life had been going I expected KD to pocket the money order and not show. It just didn't seem possible that anything good could happen in this world. I was amazed that he actually showed up, did what he said he was going to do, was respectful, and did not rape or murder me and dd.
It was too hard to actually believe I could finally get pregnant, I just wanted to enjoy the familiar routine of TTC and remember a time when I was a strong woman and life was full of possibility. I didn't use progesterone creme or any of the post-O supplements I normally use because I did not want to feel physically sick during my 2ww.
Two days after the insem, my temps did their characteristic (from when my charts made any sense) pre-O dip and then went up nicely and stayed up. Five days after O, I unexpectedly ran into an old friend I hadn't seen in six years or spoken to in two years. He hadn't known that I was TTC as a SMC and was very excited for me. At one point he put his head down to my belly and I don't know what he said to my kid, but she definitely sat up and took notice because I started feeling implantation cramping as soon as we got home.
I was kind of distracted by this unexpected reunion and suddenly I realized that I only had three more days left of my 2WW and then it would all be over, since I had pretty much decided that I couldn't keep trying with dd's tuition expenses and ds's therapy expenses (he does not live with me, but I do pay for him to see a MFT when he is willing to go) piling up and me only making minimum wage.
Yesterday I had a REALLY grumpy day; my friend had not returned my calls and all I wanted to do was find him and talk about why we had stopped writing each other and let him know that I wanted a fresh start. The house was filthy and there wasn't much to eat, so I really needed to stay home and cook and clean when all I wanted to do was hop on my bicycle in the warm sunshine and pedal the 6-7 miles to the town where my friend lives. I was also jealous of everyone on the TTC boards who was getting BFPs.
It was too late to make it to the dollar store, but Long's had generic digitals on sale, so I bought a two-pack. I was so grumpy that I didn't even have the sense not to waste a test after reading the instructions that said it was only 57% effective when used 3 days before
was due and to make matters even worse, I not only didn't wait for FMU, but I had a fairly empty bladder and had been thirsty and drinking tea all day so it wasn't very concentrated.
I was in total shock when the test unmistakeably read "Pregnant" and so did the other one at about 2 AM the next morning.
.
on the first try here too! And its my first pregnancy!
: I don't want to sound smug about it--I know so many people who've struggled. DD was also a first-try baby, though. We just seem to be fertile.
This time I was just watching my fertile signs and we took a guess and went for it.
I'm betting on another girl 
