catching your own baby - Page 4

[nolonger]

Originally Posted by hapersmion

Awww, you people are making me want a UC...

hapersmion

Is that supposed to be a bad thing?



I love this thread. It was very reassuring to me the first time I saw it and was definitely instrumental in helping me to feel confident about my decision to UC/UP. Although I had known since I was TTC that this was how I wanted to birth my final baby, I was a bit concerned about the logistics since I don't have a partner.

Thank you so much to everyone who helped me to understand that this truly is no problem at all, and actually a GOOD thing when it comes to birthing babies without a lot of unnecessary hassle.

[hapersmion]

Originally Posted by noordinaryspider

Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

Only for my husband. But things will work out.

hapersmion

[AngelBee]

Weird thing......for my last two births I had FULL intention of catching them myself. But during both births, I found lying on my side with my eyes clos the most comfortable position. I had NO desire to reach down and even touch the baby. I was in a zone. Really focusing. I made someone else catch both times as in the moment, I did NOT want to.

When the babies pass my pubic bone, it is a VERY intense time for me. Kinda like being tickled too much. Wanna laugh....wanna cry. I actually think I am having a huge orgasm.....because that will happen sometimes. Like feels really good and icky at once.

I don't know.....I don't know why I change my mind in the moment.

[cottonwood]

Not that anyone has to catch. I guess unless you're standing up! The baby will simply unfold onto the surface beneath or in front of the mother. There a great video -- can't remember what it's called, but it's old and takes place inside a hospital, and I think it was put out by the Bradley people, although nothing in it is remotely Bradley -- anyway, the mothers are all in a sort of semi-squat, half sitting back in pillows, and the baby simply sort of slides out onto the bed, and then after several moments or half a minute or so the mother picks the baby up. The process has been so gentle and smooth and she has been so inside it, that sometimes it takes a few moments for her to transition from birthing mode to mothering mode.

This is really what happened with me. I wasn't mentally thinking, "okay, time to catch my baby." With my first UC I was kneeling and she just unfolded onto the cushion beneath me, and I sat back and picked her up. I have no idea what the time frame of this way, it seemed timeless to me. With my second, I was on hands and knees and my husband simply put his hand under her head as she descended to the cushion beneath me, then again at some point I sat back and picked her up. It wasn't immediate, but it did happen in the time that it needed to be. So technically, I guess, nobody "caught". This thread was started only to dispell the myth that women can't catch their own babies, I didn't mean to imply that they should or that anyone should for that matter.

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds

Not that anyone has to catch. I guess unless you're standing up! The baby will simply unfold onto the surface beneath or in front of the mother. There a great video -- can't remember what it's called, but it's old and takes place inside a hospital, and I think it was put out by the Bradley people, although nothing in it is remotely Bradley -- anyway, the mothers are all in a sort of semi-squat, half sitting back in pillows, and the baby simply sort of slides out onto the bed, and then after several moments or half a minute or so the mother picks the baby up. The process has been so gentle and smooth and she has been so inside it, that sometimes it takes a few moments for her to transition from birthing mode to mothering mode.

This is really what happened with me. I wasn't mentally thinking, "okay, time to catch my baby." With my first UC I was kneeling and she just unfolded onto the cushion beneath me, and I sat back and picked her up. I have no idea what the time frame of this way, it seemed timeless to me. With my second, I was on hands and knees and my husband simply put his hand under her head as she descended to the cushion beneath me, then again at some point I sat back and picked her up. It wasn't immediate, but it did happen in the time that it needed to be. So technically, I guess, nobody "caught". This thread was started only to dispell the myth that women can't catch their own babies, I didn't mean to imply that they should or that anyone should for that matter.

No....I know. : Sorry if I sounded defensive. I was just thinking outloud. Like I wonder why I changed my mind? It never occurred to me to just let the babies be born on the bed and grab them after. I wonder why it didn't???

Maybe because I had seen the birth so many times in my head with me grabbing them AS the came out.......instead of grabbing them after.

[Belletheacd]

I have been following this thread since before I had my UC, just 7 weeks ago.

I had NO instinctive desire at all to catch my baby when he came out. I was on hands and knees on my bed, and at the last minute I instinctively pulled one leg up and he came out. My husband said he just kind of unfolded onto the bed, in a very gentle manner.

I had played in my head over and over that I was going to catch my baby. It just *seemed* like the logical thing to do, but at that moment it wasn't, afterall.

On a side note, I LOVE the fact that dh didn't try and touch or catch the baby as he was coming out. He just sat behind me on the bed and watched, silently, with my 2 y/o. I can't explain why this is so awesome to me. I guess it just shows how much he trusted me and trusted birth to not try and "help."

Even after the baby came out, dh just sat there and waited for me to turn around and pick baby up to see what sex it was. That sounds silly, I know, but it just touches me. :

[cottonwood]

Originally Posted by AngelBee

No....I know. :

No worries. Just wanted to clarify.

[AGlimmeringHope]

I'm 19 weeks and have been lurking on this board for a while...I've had lots of dreams of catching the baby myself. We aren't UCing as DH isn't comfortable with it (and I don't want his nervous energy around if I were to UC, but I still want him here) but have found a DEM who encourages moms to catch their own babies if they want to. This thread (especially all of the pictures) have helped me a lot!

[Contrariety]

: i'm not a UCer myself- i TOTALLY believe in it, but i'm just too much of a worry-wort- but i always stop by to try and gain some courage for future births. this is by far one of the things i am most curious about... how exactly you catch the baby? i'm so happy you posted this thread!

Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds

Yes, well, I guess I was thinking about the educated idiots. You know, the ones who get doctorates in anthropology and know very well that women mostly birthed upright up until the last couple hundred years, but still don't know enough about how a baby comes out to understand how a woman can easily catch her own baby. Seriously, I hear this argument used all the time to "prove" that midwifery is the natural default, from people who should know better.

as an anthropologist with a specific interest in traditional midwifery and childbirth, i kinda want to defend the discipline... it's not so much that anthropologists believe women CAN'T give birth unassisted. it's just that it is physiologically more difficult for human females to give birth unassisted than it is for our furry cousins. so anthropologists are inclined to believe (myself included) that women who had assistance were, reproductively speaking, more successful than those who didn't, so the practice became universal.

there something to be said for the fact that some form of midwifery/birth assistance is, more or less, a human universal. true, there are a few societies like the !kung where the ideal birth is an unassisted one... but it rarely happens to be the case. most !kung women give birth with the help of an elder woman. in the rare instance that a !kung woman successfully gives birth unassisted, it is rarely her first.

that being said... i SO wish i had the balls to do it all by myself!

[accountclosed3]

i've not seen any evidence that humans are somehow less capable of birth than other animals. i've also seen evidence that unassisted birth is a cross-cultural phenomenon, anthropologically speaking. there was a book that moonfirefairy linked a while back (a very old book with some vary archaic language) that spoke about birth among a variety of 'primitive' peoples (the term the book used, btw).

i think it's a bit of a leap to say that because births are also attended cross culturally, this gives evidence that humans are physiologically less capable of birth than animals--if anything, it only gives evidence to the idea that women in various cultures may prefer attendants, or that some cultures see birth in ways that would require attendants (which may not be due to any fears of a physical inability, but rather due to a cultural or religious need of another sort. for example, in some cultures the female elder is there to protect the mother and baby from spirits who might harm her or the baby--not because the mother isn't physically capable of birth).

i also don't think that it takes any real measure of 'courage' to birth unassisted. i think it simply takes the desire to do so. i don't feel very courageous about my decision to birth this way--it just makes complete sense ot me and feels natural and appropriate.

and even if it does take courage, courage is yet another trait that can be developed.

[Contrariety]

i didn't mean to imply that humans are less capable of giving birth unassisted... just that it is physically much MORE difficult for humans to give birth, period. Sara Hrdy has some great visuals in her book Mother Nature where she compares the size of a human baby's head to a mother's pelvis with other members of the primate order. it's crazy how roomy some of the pelvises of other primates are, and how considerably less difficult their births are (lucky gorillas!).

i agree with you that it would be a leap to say that because midwifery/childbirth assistance is nearly universal, humans are less capable of giving birth unassisted. i didn't mean to imply that at all. i think more than anything, it is a testament to just what social creatures we are... that we would have others present at such an emotionally and physically trying time. birth attendants also have very different roles everywhere you go- ranging from emotional support to c-sections. just because they are there doesn't mean that women absolutely need them to physically give birth.

UCing to me, is by far the most ideal way to give birth. i've never been a fan of an audience for ANYTHING... especially babies flying out of my hoo-ha

i think you are right about courage. it doesn't take courage to do something natural. there's nothing courageous about actually giving birth. if you are pregnant, it is an inevitability- no courage required to get there. i guess for me, it's courage i need to assuage my own fears of complications instilled in me by the medical community and also the nay-saying of close friends and family members.

thanks for the inspiration!

[accountclosed3]

i'm not sure that i agree that it's physically more difficult for humans to give birth than any other animal. i haven't read the text you mention, but that's just my general impression.

i mean, it doesn't make sense that one of the most successful animal species on the planet, which has only had advanced technology to "save" babies for the last 50 years or so, has a harder time giving birth than any other species.

i also want to point out that i don't necessarily see birth as "such a physically or emotionally trying time." from my perspective, birth is a time of great personal power for women, a time of great spiritual and emotional potentcy, dynamic physical development and strength. That's not to say that it isn't necessarily a "challenge" or an "extreme" experience--but that experience needn't be "trying" or "difficult" from an emotional or physical perspective.

this goes to the question or difference between "pain" vs "suffering" and the psychological perspectives of what is happening at birth. for me--if you read my post in the discussion about pain during child birth--the 'pain' of child birth physically (should it come) is something that is only increasing my physical ability, helping me to broaden my physical, emotional, and spiritual limits, transitioning me to a transcendent, new space in my personhood. i welcome this challenge openly and with joy (btw, i do this with all physical pain experiences and thus have what many have considered an "off the charts threshold for pain"). In fact, i believe that pain can be a doorway to an ecstatic experience.

and thus, the experienc eof birth wouldn't be trying--emotionally or physically--but rather exciting in it's very essence and nature.

and having someone there would be ok, i guess. though i agree that it does display/demonstrate our social natures.

[cottonwood]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Jesus

as an anthropologist with a specific interest in traditional midwifery and childbirth, i kinda want to defend the discipline...

I wasn't criticizing the discipline itself. There are some very fine anthropologists out there.

I'd like to respond to the rest of your post, but after sitting here for ten minutes working on a response, I'm realizing that I'm *way* too tired. Been moving furniture all day. I need to go to bed, not talk birth theory.

[zonapellucida]

OH NO the video is no longer available! anyone have a waterbirth on video or should I you tube mine I am curious becasue I have been gripping the side of the the tube and a MW helped with my home births.....