I found out that I was pregnant with our first baby in June of 2004. I was thrilled! I wanted nothing more than to be a mother.
I wanted a drug free natural delivery and pregnancy. I knew I wanted that from the moment I had my BFP.
Within days of finding out I was pg I began to have the most horrible overwhelming nausea. I also began then to vomit uncontrollably. I would throw up all day every day. I even had to wake up in the middle of the night to vomit. I was 145 pounds when I conceived. By the end of the first trimester I was down to 98 pounds.
The first OB/GYN I was seeing was so unsupportive. She wasn't concerned about my weight loss. She did nothing to help me. I felt like I was wasting away. I would lay on the couch all day just wanting to die.
I switched OBs. The new OB was so alarmed by my weight loss and my sunken appearance that he immediately diagnosed me with Hyperemesis. He put me on a drug regime of Zofran and Phenergan. Those two drugs allowed me to begin to eat again and I slowly began to regain the weight I had lost.
By the end of my pregnancy I was still vomiting all day every day but I had gained weight and was back up to 113 pounds by 9 months.
They diagnosed me with gestational diabetes halfway through my pregnancy. The OB/GYN enrolled me with a home healthcare company who specializes in "managing" gestational diabetic patients.
: They sent a nurse to my home who then told me that I had to go onto a 1000 calorie per day diet in order to prevent having a macrosomic or "big" baby. She told me I was allowed to eat only the 1000 calories and only in specific portions at specific times during the day. This was the beginning of h*ll for me. I followed their diet because they told me I would be harming my baby if I didn't. I was starving. So I was throwing up all day long and starving myself on 1000 calories a day.
They began to do weekly ultrasounds at that point. I was now "high risk". At the ultrasound 3 months before my due date the u/s tech went out to get the OB. He came back in and said that my placenta was disintegrating. He told me I had to go on strict bed rest and do fetal kick counts every hour. If the baby didn't move enough I was to go straight to the hospital. I ended up in a vicious cycle of going to the hospital over and over. They would say "oh the baby doesn't look good" here drink this orange juice and get your blood sugar up. Then they would send me home again.
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I finally decided at this point that the diet was too little food for me and the baby. I began to eat my normally healhty diet that I had always eaten. I continued monitoring my blood sugar. It was always normal even on my regular diet. I NEVER had an elevated blood sugar on my normal diet.
The OB told me he was going to induce me 3 days before my due date because he was going out of town. I agreed to the induction because I didn't know any better.
On January 25 I had my last visit with the OB/GYN. He told me he was going to do a vaginal exam to see what was happening in there. While he was in there he stripped my membranes quite forcibly. I screamed and he pulled his hand out covered in blood and said "Oh I should have told you I was going to do that before I did it huh."
I went in on January 26, 2005 for my induction. The nurse stuck me 12 times trying to get an IV. Then they started the pitocin. The OB came in shortly thereafter and broke my bag of waters. I really don't even remembering him asking he just did it. I was laboring well and tolerating contractions. They had me NPO (no food or drink) and strapped on my back in bed on the monitors. They all kept asking if I wanted meds for the pain. I kept saying "NO" emphatically. I was making this work drug free the way I wanted it to.
My OB came in at about 2:00 in the afternoon and told me I HAD to have an epidural. I asked why and he told me that it would make me progress faster. I told him I really wanted to do this on my own and he then told me that if I didn't have the epidural I was going to end up with a c-section because I was taking too long. I had only been in labor since 6:00 A.M., it was 2:00 P.M.
When they came in to do the epidural the nurse checked me I was 85% effaced and dilated to a 7. They put in the epidural and then set me straight up in bed. Within 5 minutes I was telling the nurses my face was numb and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I remember seeing grey stars everywhere.
I woke up with a whole team of people in the room. I had multiple IVs and they were trying to get my blood pressure back up. I was numb all the way to my neck. I was now a prisoner in a worthless body that I couldn't even move.
Then Calen went into distress. His heart rate began to drop lower and lower. The OB put my legs up in the stirrups and checked me I was fully dilated and effaced and he wanted me to try to push. I tried and tried. Calen's heart then stopped on the monitors.
The OB apologized to me and said "I'm sorry Molly but I have got to get this kid out." I saw him take a scalpel and cut me. He sliced from the bottom of my vagina all the way through both sides of my anal sphincter. I had to have 250 stitches to close the incision.
Calen was born with a nuchal cord. He was blue and not breathing.
They resuscitated him in the delivery room. I got to hear him cry. They then took him away. I would not see my son again for over 9 hours.
I was in extreme pain for months afterwards. I had a huge knot on my spine from the epidural that was horribly painful. I had stitches everywhere in my most sensitive places. I then developed stitch granulomas. The stitches that were meant to dissolve did not. I had to have corrective surgery to have those removed.
I still have a hard time with Calen's birth. It makes me cry just thinking about it. I am so glad my little boy is safe and ok and here in spite of everything that happened.
On a brighter note....My DD Ella was born 6 months ago. She was born in a free standing birth center. It was an intervention and drug free birth. She was born occipital posterior presentation after 4 hours of labor and 15 minutes of pushing. I had a small tear that required one stitch. It was such a beautiful birth and such a healing experience.
Thanks for reading!
ETA: My baby that was supposedly going to be HUGE because of my gestational diabetes was only 6 pounds 1 ounce.
I wanted a drug free natural delivery and pregnancy. I knew I wanted that from the moment I had my BFP.
Within days of finding out I was pg I began to have the most horrible overwhelming nausea. I also began then to vomit uncontrollably. I would throw up all day every day. I even had to wake up in the middle of the night to vomit. I was 145 pounds when I conceived. By the end of the first trimester I was down to 98 pounds.
The first OB/GYN I was seeing was so unsupportive. She wasn't concerned about my weight loss. She did nothing to help me. I felt like I was wasting away. I would lay on the couch all day just wanting to die.
I switched OBs. The new OB was so alarmed by my weight loss and my sunken appearance that he immediately diagnosed me with Hyperemesis. He put me on a drug regime of Zofran and Phenergan. Those two drugs allowed me to begin to eat again and I slowly began to regain the weight I had lost.
By the end of my pregnancy I was still vomiting all day every day but I had gained weight and was back up to 113 pounds by 9 months.
They diagnosed me with gestational diabetes halfway through my pregnancy. The OB/GYN enrolled me with a home healthcare company who specializes in "managing" gestational diabetic patients.
: They sent a nurse to my home who then told me that I had to go onto a 1000 calorie per day diet in order to prevent having a macrosomic or "big" baby. She told me I was allowed to eat only the 1000 calories and only in specific portions at specific times during the day. This was the beginning of h*ll for me. I followed their diet because they told me I would be harming my baby if I didn't. I was starving. So I was throwing up all day long and starving myself on 1000 calories a day.They began to do weekly ultrasounds at that point. I was now "high risk". At the ultrasound 3 months before my due date the u/s tech went out to get the OB. He came back in and said that my placenta was disintegrating. He told me I had to go on strict bed rest and do fetal kick counts every hour. If the baby didn't move enough I was to go straight to the hospital. I ended up in a vicious cycle of going to the hospital over and over. They would say "oh the baby doesn't look good" here drink this orange juice and get your blood sugar up. Then they would send me home again.
:I finally decided at this point that the diet was too little food for me and the baby. I began to eat my normally healhty diet that I had always eaten. I continued monitoring my blood sugar. It was always normal even on my regular diet. I NEVER had an elevated blood sugar on my normal diet.
The OB told me he was going to induce me 3 days before my due date because he was going out of town. I agreed to the induction because I didn't know any better.
On January 25 I had my last visit with the OB/GYN. He told me he was going to do a vaginal exam to see what was happening in there. While he was in there he stripped my membranes quite forcibly. I screamed and he pulled his hand out covered in blood and said "Oh I should have told you I was going to do that before I did it huh."
I went in on January 26, 2005 for my induction. The nurse stuck me 12 times trying to get an IV. Then they started the pitocin. The OB came in shortly thereafter and broke my bag of waters. I really don't even remembering him asking he just did it. I was laboring well and tolerating contractions. They had me NPO (no food or drink) and strapped on my back in bed on the monitors. They all kept asking if I wanted meds for the pain. I kept saying "NO" emphatically. I was making this work drug free the way I wanted it to.
My OB came in at about 2:00 in the afternoon and told me I HAD to have an epidural. I asked why and he told me that it would make me progress faster. I told him I really wanted to do this on my own and he then told me that if I didn't have the epidural I was going to end up with a c-section because I was taking too long. I had only been in labor since 6:00 A.M., it was 2:00 P.M.
When they came in to do the epidural the nurse checked me I was 85% effaced and dilated to a 7. They put in the epidural and then set me straight up in bed. Within 5 minutes I was telling the nurses my face was numb and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I remember seeing grey stars everywhere.
I woke up with a whole team of people in the room. I had multiple IVs and they were trying to get my blood pressure back up. I was numb all the way to my neck. I was now a prisoner in a worthless body that I couldn't even move.
Then Calen went into distress. His heart rate began to drop lower and lower. The OB put my legs up in the stirrups and checked me I was fully dilated and effaced and he wanted me to try to push. I tried and tried. Calen's heart then stopped on the monitors.
The OB apologized to me and said "I'm sorry Molly but I have got to get this kid out." I saw him take a scalpel and cut me. He sliced from the bottom of my vagina all the way through both sides of my anal sphincter. I had to have 250 stitches to close the incision.
Calen was born with a nuchal cord. He was blue and not breathing.
They resuscitated him in the delivery room. I got to hear him cry. They then took him away. I would not see my son again for over 9 hours.
I was in extreme pain for months afterwards. I had a huge knot on my spine from the epidural that was horribly painful. I had stitches everywhere in my most sensitive places. I then developed stitch granulomas. The stitches that were meant to dissolve did not. I had to have corrective surgery to have those removed.
I still have a hard time with Calen's birth. It makes me cry just thinking about it. I am so glad my little boy is safe and ok and here in spite of everything that happened.
On a brighter note....My DD Ella was born 6 months ago. She was born in a free standing birth center. It was an intervention and drug free birth. She was born occipital posterior presentation after 4 hours of labor and 15 minutes of pushing. I had a small tear that required one stitch. It was such a beautiful birth and such a healing experience.
Thanks for reading!
ETA: My baby that was supposedly going to be HUGE because of my gestational diabetes was only 6 pounds 1 ounce.
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Thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry that you had to go through so much when you shouldnt have. I can see that you have a lot of mama strength. Good for you for giving birth again...the normal way. Congratulations on your beautiful children. Thanks again for sharing.
I'm so sorry things went so horribly, congrats on your second birth, it sounds like you had what it took all along, some other people just got in the way! You're one strong birthin' mama! Congrats!
