I was so tempted to lie and say I formula feed! - Page 2

[artgoddess]

Originally Posted by babygrace

some of these babies actually sound overweight! opposite end of the spectrum, i guess.

There is no such thing as an over weight BABY.



to the OP:

It's all so subjective either way. If that ever happens again I would just say, "Oh well, you never know, all babies are different and I think she looks perfect" I had an exclusively BF'd pudgy boy as well, my MIL teased that I must produce heavy cream. But really it's just that every baby is different.

[mamasophy]

Sounds like you handled the situation well - honesty without judgement is always OK. I'd feel the same way though - I'm always worrying about making someone else feel bad! Like if we're discussing risks of formula, I rerally hesitate to say anything in front of someone who has ff (they can't do anything about it now!), so I'm careful. BTW, my (now 90 lb, tall and very skinny) 12 yr old was 27 lbs at 5 months old!! He looked like the Michelin Man!! And he was EBF then - no food until 6-7 months! Once he could walk, though, he skinnied out! I always said I made WHALE MILK! BTW, I actually envy moms with what I call "normal" or "average" sized babes (7 lbs at birth, etc) - mine were HUGE (9-10lbs) and gained a pound/week! My back!! Oh well, we're big in my family!

[mzfern]

Originally Posted by babygrace

some of these babies actually sound overweight! opposite end of the spectrum, i guess.

Which babies are you refering to? For ebf babies, it's not possible for them to be "overweight" -- bf babies are the size they're meant to be.

ETA: Oops, cross posted with art goddess!

[Ruthla]

I bet her little girl is the perfect size for her, and your little guy is the perfect size for him! You having a big baby has NOTHING to do with her "success" or "failure" as a nursing mom.

[Neth Naneth]

You know my ds is kind of tall and although he is with in the charts he appears to be slimmer than some of the other babies his age. If someone was to asks me if he was breastfed (which he is) or why he was "small", I would be honest and say it was his genes, I am sure that petiteness ran in the woman's family. It is unfortunate that she blamed it on BF'ing though.

[phreedom]

Just like adults, babies come in different shapes and sizes. Some are big, some are not. I hate this idea that all babies are supposed to be huge and chubby and if they are not you must be starving it. Especially if you are BFing.

My daughter was bigger than most of my friends children that are about the same age as her for the first 4 months of her life. She was/is EBF. Now at 8 months she's smaller than most of them. She's probably about 16-17 lbs and about 27 inches. Small side of average. I've read (somewhere?) that BF babies tend to be smaller (on average) than FF babies, but that's not necessarily because BM is inadequate. I've seen FF babies that are tiny, just as I have seen BF babies that are enormous.

My little girl is also built kind of funny. She is petite but still chubby. I mean you can see her ribs and sternum...but she has major chubby cheeks and rolls on her legs.

[Neth Naneth]

Originally Posted by phreedom

I've read (somewhere?) that BF babies tend to be smaller (on average) than FF babies, but that's not necessarily because BM is inadequate. I've seen FF babies that are tiny, just as I have seen BF babies that are enormous.

How interesting, all of the breastfed babies that I have seen were on average larger than FF babies of the same age. Again all babies are going to be different.

[earthmommy2]

I hope that she wasn't too sad...I know when I was EBF my dd who is now 3 and weaned, i felt like I was starving her...even though i wasn't. She is just little. She would nurse for 15+ min per side and was always slow to gain weight...even now, and I felt so sad thinking perhaps I wasn't helping her...but my awesomely supportive Ped told me I was doing everything right...

Of course now I have a moose of a baby boy who at 7 wks already looks like he has meatballs for feet and I"m sure he's eating well...

Some are just wittle things...like my DD.

[elanorh]

If you run into her at another BBQ or etc. this summer, you could always tell her, "You know, I didn't have chance to tell you when we talked last time - so much of baby weight gain is genetic; I've a couple good friends who've had small babies AND large babies"
(after all there are several in this thread )

-- And share some of our stories.

Ina was a skinny thing, tall and skinny actually (so she looked even more skinny - 95% for height, 3-10% for weight). I was actually afraid someone would call us in to CPS! We were certain we'd have all skinny babes, after Ina -- after all, dh and I were our mothers' smallest babies too. Instead, we have a MOOSE in SJ. She's huge! Still 95% for height, but also for weight too. My mom had 7 babes, all about the same weight at birth (other than the preemie) - she had three CHUBS (#1, #3, #5), two skinnier ones (#2, #7), and two "average" ones.

In terms of the "bf so she's smaller" comment -- I know I've read in several places that bf infants tend to weigh about 1 pound less (as a cohort) than ff'd infants when they reach 1 year of age -- I think Kellymom talks about this; that bf'd infants gain faster than ff'd from 0-3 months; at the same rate from 4-6 months; then "lean out" more from 6-12 months. So, there may have been a partial truth to what she was saying/telling herself.

I'd imagine she's been getting a lot of pressure, and could use some support. If you get the opportunity to befriend her more, go for it. Even though I knew we were doing everything "right," I honestly still felt like maybe I was part of Ina's weight gain issues -- until we did the very same "right" things with SJ, and had a big baby instead.

I too think it's bizarre - we want our babies to be TUBS (no one wants a 50/50 baby, they all want a 90/90) -- then start worrying about their weight when they're older. Incidentally, my mom's biggest baby is the skinniest of all my sisters, she probably weighs 120 pounds today after three kids!

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by momtoalexsarah

As others have said,each baby has their own pattern. My ds was 24lb at 6m - 31 at a year, older DD was 19 at 6m and 24 at 1 - today at 3.5 and 2.5 they are only 35lb and 27lb so they are small now but big at one.
My youngest is just a mite of a thing - she was 17lb 6oz at one and at 15m is only 18,2 but is doing just fine

wait, are you saying your kids are small? or big? I'm confused...:

[HarperRose]

Poor woman. She's probably being told her dd is small and she feels bad about it.

DS: ebf for a year, 9lb 8oz at birth, 28 lbs at 12 mos.
DD: ebf for a year, 7lb 14oz at birth, approx 18 lbs at 12 mos.

Every kid is different.

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

wait, are you saying your kids are small? or big? I'm confused...:

I think she's saying that they changed over time.

[gottaknit]

Statistically, bf children are smaller. (Patience please while I look up the link to a recent medical study. )I think the typical pattern is chubby bf baby gradually slims down to toddler on the petite side.

This is exactly what my DS did. He was 95%, then just didn't gain much weight after 15-18 months. Now he's 15%. And perfectly height/weight proportionate.

ETA: Trying to add link but it's not working Aaarrrgghhh!!!

[hipumpkins]

...and let's not forget the charts are based on formula fed babies not breastfed. they actually redid the chart a couple years ago but I'm not sure if pediatrcians are actually carrying it. i know mine doesn't.

[VanessaS]

My oldest was always (and still is) rather small and skinny and my youngest is HUGE for her age. Both exclusively BF.
My midwife says that as long as they are developing well, don't worry.

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by hipumpkins

...and let's not forget the charts are based on formula fed babies not breastfed. they actually redid the chart a couple years ago but I'm not sure if pediatrcians are actually carrying it. i know mine doesn't.

I *just* came upon another thread referring to the charts. Here's one of the links posted:

http://www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/en/

[Juvysen]

I feel that mama's pain... my DD was big for her age until she hit six months and now she's on the low end of the percentiles (except head size... I ended up with tweetie bird, apparently ). She was still being pretty much exclusively breast fed and started slipping down the "normal" charts. People still always say "oh, she's a peanut". I've stopped trying to explain that she's normal for her and just nod and say "yep".

[katheek77]

My baby gets breastmilk AND (necessary) formula supplements AND solids (she's 12.5 months).

She's in the 3.8 percentile for weight, and 36 percentile for height. Some babies are destined to be skinnier, regardless of what/how much you feed them. And others will be chubby.

Looking at what the PP said, oddly enough, my DD has always been solidly at 75th for head circumfrence.

[sharon71]

You handled that quiet well momma.
My DD will be 2 in 2.5 weeks and weighs 30lbs and is 36 in. people are always dropping their jaws at her size when I tell them my DH is 6ft 7 in and weighs about 210 they are even more shocked..I honestly don't think she's all that big.

[gilamama]

i think it is super that you were so sensitive to that mama.

but... an anecdote.

dh's bf (best friend)'s wife ebf their 5 mo. she is the size of a 2 month old. to me that is just sad. yes they are skinny people but, i think that means they all need to eat more. i know the mom on ly eats chicken once a week and no fish and i dont think she takes vitamins. i beleive her baby is small b/c her breast milk is lacking. i am not an expert but arent babies supposed to grow the fastest of their whole lives in the beginning? and the growth slows down? hence the sizing of babies clothes. new born. 3 months, 6 months, 12 months, 18, months, 2 years, 3 years etc... i feel bad for those tiny babies, this one wasnt meeting her milestones so maybe that is differnt. i hope the baby you met is just petite not. really tiny and nderdeveloped for her age.