He won't tell his family.

[Carlito's_wife]

Maybe I am over reacting due to hormones but I am really upset right now by the fact that my husband doesn't want to tell anyone I am pregnant. Mainly his family.

We have been together 5 years and every step of the way his family (mainly his older sister) has taken every step they could to seperate or come inbetween us.

I finally met them a few months back and they were very polite to my face as was I to them. A month later Carlos and I got married and the drama went to an all time high.

His mom told me several times when we met that she wanted a grandchild. I am kind of taking it like she meant by anyone but me. Carlos is so scared to tell them so I guess that means he feels it will cause more problems.

I don't know that I want a man to father my child if he can't even stand up for his wife or aknowledge his child.

Why would he want to keep something that is supposed to be the happiest times of our life a secret. He has really pressured me to get pregnant for the past 6 months or so. Why would he do that if it was something he wouldn't want anyone to know?

[flapjack]

I'm right in thinking that he's a stepdad to your others, yes?

DH and I are having a similar discussion and ultimately, what it comes down to is a fear of death: and in particular, a fear of miscarriage. I think an early loss is way harder for men to process than we realise because there is the assumption that all lost babies are genetically abnormal- or, "his fault." It's a big issue for his masculinity, especially with repeated losses, and DH is blaming himself. It's hard to watch, it really is. Particularly in a traditional family (is your hubby Italian, by any chance?) I've seen them tear a young couple to pieces blaming them for a loss.
If your hubby is still being hesitant to tell his family at 12 weeks, then I'd kick up a fuss. For now, though, I'd let him have his own issues.

[ellymay]

((((HUGS)))) dh was not wanting to tell his mom either and this is our 3rd child together 5 between the both of us!!!! And he was still scared bc of her horrid reaction last time we just didn't want to tell her so he said well we'll just send her a card LOL but I talked to my sil and she told her for me. I think for some reason it can be hard for men to tell their moms especially though I don't know why. Maybe he is afraid of the bad things they might say maybe he just can't get the words out. IDK but ((((HUGS))))

[Carlito's_wife]

Well his father just passed a year ago and it seems like as of right now Carlos is the only one in the family that may have a child to pass the name on. His younger sister can't have children and his older sister is so caught up in corprate america and the after work coctails that no one sees children in her future eather. I feel as though everyone is pulling me 2 directions. I got the pressure of making sure there was a little boy to carry his name but the pressure as well to try and keep my joys a secret for fear making those friggin people upset.

I swear, I am really at the point where I feel like I want nothing to do with them. They have caused so many problems that I honestly feel I would go to any lengths to make sure they stay out of my life and my babies life.

They always have the worst things to say about me. I heard them tell my husband one time that they all felt I had forced him to marry me. I almost choked on my own vomit when I heard that. He told me if we weren't married by the time he went back to Iraq then he would leave me. Which gave me only one choice if I wanted to be with him.

Those people are impossible. I wish I could cut them out of the picture. They really know how to make me feel like crap and I don't have the slightest idea what I ever did to them.

I know he is not telling them because he is scared to. When he told them we were married they told him that he had disrespected their family and he was just walking all over his fathers grave.

These women have some serious issues.

[Jezzy]

We haven't told DH's family either. Just my mom and my sis, and you guys I am also not sure when we will be telling them. When my dh feels it is the right time then thats when they will find out. It isn't because he is afraid of their reaction. They will be estatic, she even calls herself grandma to our 6 month old puppy!