Why does this have to happen now?

[brittneyscott]

Remember the Murphy's Law that everyone keeps talking about? Well he's trying hard to get me too. My dad came to town unexpectedly Monday night. (A little history: He started doing drugs when I was 12 and has put my family through some real HELL. He gets violent when he does drugs and has tried to kill us all before.) No one knew he was coming and he doesn't know how long he'll be here.
So after he pops up Monday night, I wake up yesterday morning to losing my mucus plug. I know this could mean it's still a week or two away but I've already lost pieces over the last week or so and now it's a lot I'm losing. Plus the cramps and backache have gotten a good bit worse. My instincts are telling me today or tomorrow, which I'm excited about but now this.
He lurked around my house all day and I had to lie about needing to go somewhere to get him out of here. Now if I go into labor I can't let my sister keep DD at my house b/c I'm worried he'll come here to bug them and he can't be around them without someone to protect them. Plus I'm worried something will come up missing while I'm in the hospital b/c my crackheaded uncle is suppose to be in town too. Then I don't know how I'll keep him away from my house once I'm home with my baby and trying to enjoy and take care of my newborn son.
Why, oh why does this have to happen now?!?! (Sorry ladies but I had to get it off my chest)

[Marvelleaux]

Oh wow, that really, really sucks. I'm so sorry you've got to deal with this crap. I think this would be a great time to "pull out all the stops", push the red button and gather all friends and reliable family to help otherwise engage your wayward dad and protect your house from the nasty uncle.

Much luck and better vibes your way..

[mrsalf97]

Can you put him up in a motel for a week or so? Or just kindly explain to him that you are about to have a baby and need some privacy?

Tough situation!

**hugs**

[brittneyscott]

I can't put him up in a motel in town. I don't need him thinking I'll do that kind of thing everytime he needs somewhere to stay and I don't have the money. The hardest part is as much as I don't want him around I can't just be rude and tell him to not come here because if we upset him then he'll get emotional. Then he'll go out and get messed up on drugs and come back all cracked out trying to kill us all again. My mother and siblings can't help b/c they have the same problem with him and I don't really have any family to distract him. No one wants to deal with him. So far I'm the only one that has even seen him b/c everyone else is hiding out from him. And the worst part is he thinks he needs to stay in town to see the baby when it comes! NOOOO! I feel like a prisoner in my own home!

[willoLevin]

No offense intended, but, if he is DANGEROUS, you owe it to your baby (never mind yourself!) to get him out of your home.

Make any excuse you have to. Get your doctor/midwife to say your baby can't be around anyone except yourself and your husband due to some risk of illness. Say whatever you have to, but protect yourself and your family.

--willo

[wombatclay]

Oh geeze...that just stinks.

I agree with Willo though...if he is dangerous (and it certainly sounds like he is!) then you need him GONE right now. Even if he was just emotionally disturbing too you, you need peace and focus right now...not family psychodrama.

Is there anyone you can trust to ask him to leave if you can't bring yourself to do it? Is there an old restraining order or official document that someone can fall back on? Or just a friend (of yours or of his) that could divert him? You need space, and peace, and security and it sounds like he is NOT any of those things for you and your family.

Hang in there and hopefully he'll be gone by the time your little one arrives.

[sally Z]

sounds awful, hope things work out and he moves on

[brittneyscott]

Well he's still in town and now I'm pretty sure I'll be in labor by morning. At least if I'm in labor by morning he won't be around to find out and the hospital won't tell him that I'm there. So at least I'll get some peace for a couple of days. Once I'm home I'll have to have someone run him away from the house though. I just hope I go into labor tonight, that way I know my baby won't be stressed by my bad nerves right now.

[Iamhappy2BAmom]

Hmmmm... he sounds rather toxic. You know I've heard and seen women who have had children change and get really fierce. It's biological I think. Where all the matters to them is the well being of the offspring. I can't say I have exact first hand experience since this is my first child, but both my husband and I are starting to develop zero tolerance as far as our families are concerened. (eg His mom is an alcoholic and does really reckless things when she is drunk(even though she does not think so) and I said she is not allowed to drink around the baby.) Our circumstances are obviously not to at the level of physical harm as yours- but I trust that your baby will give you the strength to know what to do next. His/her safety will become the number one priority. Even if that means you have to issue a restraining order against him. You can't control irrational behavior- you might play by all the rules and he still will get emotional and do something horrible. Anyway, I wish you strength during this time. Don't let an addicts behavior hi-jack one of the most meaningful experiences of your life and you baby's life. Believe me, my husband and I know all to well how a relative can turn any event into an event about themselves. We love our family members dearly, but there is a reason why we see them 10 days total in a year at most if even.

[OTMomma]

I am so sorry you have to deal with this now. I am wishing you good positive birthing vibes!!

[brittneyscott]

I talked to the only other members of his side of the family around here last night and told them I didn't need this right now. So now there are some other people around at least to try to distract him. If he shows up here today I'll be pulling the plug on this "visiting" he's doing right now. This should be really lovely but I can't take this stress while I'm so close to having my baby. I have a history of anxiety, depression, and anxiety attacks (and guess what caused them?!) and I don't want them to affect the end of my pregnancy like this. Thanks for the support ladies. I really need it right now!

[awallrising]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this at all, let alone now. I hope your family pulls through for you. As hard as it is, try to focus on the baby & the positive energy that he will bring.