Originally Posted by UptownZoo
Well, I have a theory.
I have theories for everything. I take my armchair philosophy verrry seriously!
It's just a fundamentally weird relationship. I mean, DH and I have been together much, much, much longer than DH and BM were, but still, he had s-e-x with her. They had a child. They loved each other, once. And they don't anymore, but still, it's there in the background, even if I don't think about it. Good news? It doesn't happen to me anymore. Took maybe 4 or 5 years, but we have never gotten along at all well; I imagine if we were friendlier with each other it would have been easier.
I never had that feeling with my kids' stepmom. She didn't enter the picture until I was completely, totally, comfortably finished with my relationship with my ex-husband, so that helped. I like her. If I'd met her before my ex-h did, we'd be best friends now and he'd be single!
I used to think about that too. They were in love. He thought he would spend his whole life with her. He had his first child with her. They too were only together for 2 years and we've been together for 7. I don't really feel jealous, or worried that he still has feelings, it is just so odd. They are soooo different now,you wouldn't even think they could know each other.