s mama. It sounds like things are hard right now. First off, this is a forum for sharing birth stories, so you might get more responses to your questions if you post it in the
Birth and Beyond forum, or maybe even the "I'm Pregnant" forum. You could also post in the
Birth Professionals forum, and see if any of the midwives or doulas can help you.
I can't answer all of your questions, but I will tell you that I had contractions fast and furious -- and they HURT!!! -- in very early labor. I was barely fingertip dilated, even after having these contractions for several hours. Once my doula arrived and got me calmed down and relaxed, my contractions slowed waaaay down and mellowed out. They were hurting because I was tense and stressed out, not as an indication of how far into labor I was. So just because you're having contractions every 4 minutes does not necessarily mean you should be ready to have your baby.
What is the 36 week number based on? If it's based on measuring your fundus (when they put the tape measure on your belly), sometimes you actually measure smaller later in the pregnancy because the baby has dropped low into your pelvis. If they're guessing either your due date or the baby's size from an ultrasound, then I don't think I would pay much attention. I have heard so many stories of people being told their baby was 9 lb and they had to have a c-section
right away, and voila, the baby was 7 lbs. Ultrasounds are notoriously inaccurate at this stage of pregnancy. It boggles my mind that doctors rely on them for information like this, when it has been proven over and over that the margin of error is huge.
Also, when doctors start saying "should" with respect to birth (e.g., you "should" be dilated to 2 cm), I always get suspicious. Birth is such a unique process for each woman. Some women are dilated to 4 cm for weeks before giving birth. Some women are closed up tight, have contractions for a few hours, and then give birth. Some women are closed up tight, and it takes many days of contractions to give birth (that would be me!). There are no hard and fast rules or generalizations for this game, even though doctors try to make it sound otherwise. Do you have any scarring on your cervix? Many women have had cryo or laser treatments on their cervix to treat HPV infection, or pre-cancerous lesions, etc., and this can cause scarring that makes dilating difficult (at least in the early stages).
That's all the info I have. Try posting in the other forums, and I'm sure you'll get a lot more information. Good luck!
: Hello again. I went to the hospitle last night around 3am. I was having very strong contractions that were 4 minutes apart. But when I got there I found out that I am still closed. Last Thursday my Dr told me that the baby was very low and that I should be dialated to at least a 2. Also her heart would slow down every time I sat up. I was told not to sit up straight or bed over. And to do everything I could to get labor going. Scence then I have been to the hospitle 2 times. 
