5 year old still wetting pants.....

[whitewolfgrrrl]

I'm seriously freaking out over this. My 5 year old daughter has lately decided to wet her pants daily. She is starting Kindergarten in August and I'm scared to death of what will happen if she wets herself at school... I have tried so so many things and I am at a loss about what to do..... I'm 7months pregnant with baby #3, also and this stress is really getting to me..... HELP?

[peaceful_mama]

are you sure she doesn't have a bladder infection? I'd rule that out.

[chicagomom]

When you say "still wetting" do you mean she has never had a period without wetting her pants daily? Or is this a new behavior?

Pants wetting can be a manifestation of stress. If she was previously potty-trained and is now wetting her pants, it could be that your life-stress plus the stress of your upcoming delivery, plus the stress of starting kindergarten may be overwhelming her.

Assuming she was previously using the potty AND hasn't been sick (esp bladder infections or fevers that might indicate a bladder infection), I'd focus on creating opportunities where the two of you can hang out together, you can snuggle together and read stories, have some unstructured mommy-Dara time before the baby comes.

If she has never yet mastered the potty, I'd have her evaluated by her dr to rule out a physical problem.

Good luck!

[whitewolfgrrrl]

Thanks.

Yes, she was previously potty trained and this just started recently. Poor girl.. i hope she's not stressed... I think the mommy & Dara time is a great idea... Before i got pregnant we had one on one time together every night, but lately I have been so tired.... That's not an excuse though.. I'm sure this will fix itself.

[transformed]

I hate to be the one to say this, but wetting (it might be bedwetting) is sometimes a sign of sexual abuse. I dont want you to be freaked out, but I guess its something to rule out, right?

Here is a link I found to help you QUICKLY rule it out.

http://www.protectkids.com/abuse/abusesigns.htm

Jenny

[Ok]

I vote for ruling out stress and/or bladder infection. She could be feeling your stress, wondering what kindie will be like, wondering about the new baby... Or perhaps another level of social consciousness has hit. Or perhaps she's so engrossed with stuff she's forgetting.

Does she seem happy enough? Any "odd" conversations? Or, on a different note, is she pee'ing more often? Does her pee look cloudy? Any backache?

Given scheduled potty breaks at school (and peer pressure), I wouldn't worry too hard about this habit continuing into kindie.

((hugs)) to both of you.

[towsonmama]

We're encountering this in our household lately too. My dd is 4.5 and has been potty trained for about 2 years without any accidents. She's had five in the past week. I've noticed that it tends to occur when she's absorbed in an activity, either playing with friends/relatives or having computer time. I'm working on getting her to go to the bathroom as soon as she feels the urge. I hate to say it, but I've resorted to bribery again (ie. one week without accidents equals special craft prize).

[Starlitlexy]

Originally Posted by towsonmama

We're encountering this in our household lately too. My dd is 4.5 and has been potty trained for about 2 years without any accidents. She's had five in the past week. I've noticed that it tends to occur when she's absorbed in an activity, either playing with friends/relatives or having computer time. I'm working on getting her to go to the bathroom as soon as she feels the urge. I hate to say it, but I've resorted to bribery again (ie. one week without accidents equals special craft prize).

I am going through the exact same thing with my 4.5 son. He is way too absorbed in the activity and waits until the last minute. I'm thinking they think they will miss something if they go to the bathroom. He does a trickle pee and realizes he has to go and then runs to the bathroom. lol It is so frustrating.

[trinity6232000]

Originally Posted by Starlitlexy

I am going through the exact same thing with my 4.5 son. He is way too absorbed in the activity and waits until the last minute. I'm thinking they think they will miss something if they go to the bathroom. He does a trickle pee and realizes he has to go and then runs to the bathroom. lol It is so frustrating.

My dd just turned 8, and this still sometimes happens with us. I talked to her doctor, she's fine physically. I wonder sometimes if it has to do with growth spurts. It won't happen at all for months and months, then all a sudden within two weeks it will happen 3-4 times.

My dd was also late to train (4.5yo) she would #2 on the potty, but she said she couldn't always feel when she had to pee, it would just happen.

I had night time accidents until I was almost 12, so I imagine it might be a family thing. But dd hasn't had a bed time accident since she was like 3, she's always kept dry at night.

[treemom2]

Heck, my 6 year old (7 end of this month) still has bouts with wetting herself. Sometimes she gets so into an activity that she will wet herself (I always put extra undies in her backpack for school--in fact, the school asks all parents to do this because it's pretty common), if we are travelling she will wet herself often, if she is stressed or has a new routine she will wet herself. Thing is, she was potty trained in a day at 2 years old and didn't have an accident for a year after learning to use the potty! However, sometimes now she does have accidents, or at least a little leaking in the above situations! Once I think my DD may have had a bladder infection and couldn't hold her pee at all. . .but other than that, I think it's pretty normal to have bouts of accidents

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

My 8 1/2 YO DS has this problem sometimes too. Most of the time it seems related to total concentration on some activity and he just doesn't notice. I half joke that he is lacking some nerves in his penis because he geniunely seems surprised when I ask him to change his pants -- doesn't notice he has peed and doesn't notice his pants are wet. But it definitely increases when he is stressed about something. And there is definitely enough changes coming up in your lives to cause some anxiety in a child -- that would be entirely natural.

Interestingly enough, he's never done it at school. We have had to work with him to actually use the bathroom during recess so he doesn't have to leave class to go, but other than that, never had any issues.

Our approach has been to be very low key. If I notice he is wet I ask him to change and put the wet things in the garage. I only get upset when I empty his laundry and there have been urine soaked pants sitting in the bottom for several days -- just because the smell is so yuck. And even then I just ask him please to put wet stuff in the garage. Generally it resolves after he comes to terms with whatever he is stressed over.

[lyttlewon]

DD waits until the last minute to pee. She had an accident for the first time at a friends house. I have also known her to do it if she was mad at me or DH, like she was punishing us or something.

[Marsupialmom]

It also can be caused by constipation. The bm presing on the bladder causing mixed signals.

[nannysmom]

The same thing has been going on with my 5 yo DD for a year and a half. When we went to see the doctor, it was determined that her bladder had not grown as quickly as the rest of her body. The doctor said it will eventually catch up. We had some mama cloth custom made for her for school in the fall.

[jillmamma]

I myself had problems with this AT school in first grade when I was 6. It was almost every day for awhile, and my mom would have to come bring a change of clothes and help me with it. For me, I think a lot of it was adjusting to a new school, being an extremely shy and timid child who was afraid to ask her teacher to go to the potty (in K we had a restroom attached to the classroom, so that was my first experience with not having that), plus adjusting from 1/2 day where I could make it w/o going to all day where I could not. They had to be very patient with me, and work with me gently, and eventually I gained more confidence and was able to ask when I needed to go.

I wonder if your dd is sensing the changes coming with the new baby, and this is caused in part by the stress of that? I hope you can find a solution, but wanted to share my experience, and let you know that you CAN work through it (I am now 35, and have not had an accident in years and years. ).