Originally Posted by bryonyvaughn
IF the doctor or nurse at the hospital or home TELLS you what (s)he wants to do, you have every right to refuse it. Unfortunately some medical (un)professionals figure if they don't ask you won't refuse.
During vag exams medicos have aggressively stripped membranes without women's foreknowledge or consent. I had a midwife *accidentally* rupture my membranes during my first dilation check. That same midwife spiked my tea with both blue & black cohosh without my knowledge of permission. In hospitals just like in bars, for women's safety, they should only drink things they've seen opened or watched prepared from beginning to end. (It's corollary is why why heplocks are safer than IVs.) If the drink leaves their sight they should get another new one instead of drinking from the old. Women have had pitocin added to their IVs without their knowledge or consent. I know one woman whose midwife, without informing her first let alone getting consent, manually and forcibly dilated her from 8cm to 10cm to attach the vacuum extractor to her baby's head because she "cared for her so much (she) didn't want to see her in any more pain." Many attendants perform episiotomies, cut cords, suction babies, perform cord traction and even manually remove placentas without women's knowledge or consent. There are a lot of birth attendants out there who have great reputations and high standing in their communities and still behave monstrously.
While I'm very glad you were never victimized in such a way, I think it's important to warn women about common practices so they won't be caught off guard.
Exactly, I was subjected to much treatment like this. I was in lala land, saying "no wait what did you just do..." in a very weak voice, through alot of it... I am a strong person but was just so emotionally vulnerable... and hearing constant loud YOUR BABY COULD BE AT RISK IF YOU DONT COMPLY is a very threatening way to "force" someone into co-operation...
i had an IV threaded into my hand even though I didn't want it, I don't recall how that happened exactly, I just remember saying I wanted to drink water & if they had to they could put it in later... don't remember why she did it anyways, but I did contemplate taking it out (wish I had).
because that IV was in, they were able to administer nubain (narcotic) pretty much against my will, I said NO i dont want pain relievers, they said but your baby is in distress because you cant relax, so here you go it'll just take the edge off. but it made me fall asleep between contractions, and very nauseous, & drugged & groggy, i felt sick & couldn't wait for it to wear off.
also the DR ruptured my water bag without asking or telling me, i wouldve been happy to deliver him with it intact but he did it anyways, next thing you know he announced that there was meconium stool in the waters, i was angry because i "knew" it already & i also knew he burst my bag without asking, it was almost like a rape because he said he was just going to check me but there was an amnio hook in his hand when i looked down to see.
they insisted on fetal monitor, because my baby was "distressed" for whatever reason they determined. also had to keep a blood pressure cuff on me, the nurse kept putting it back on even though i wuold rip it off & throw It telling her i did not need it. she put it on like she was mad at me almost.
I didnt want the vagina exams, because they were hurting, to check my cervix. i said the lube burned & the nurse said it was nonsense i couldn't be feeling any pain from that, but it BURNED!!! i felt it!! they kept using it every 30 min to check me, & every time i felt like i closed up inside from the pain.
they pushed pitocin on me when my son was out, i had no intentions of EVER taking pitocin but since that IV was there they just went ahead & hooked it up. my son had just come out so i wasnt really paying attention to the nurse hooking up a bag or whatever, next thing you know
the doctor was pulling on the umbilical cord, my son hadnt been out more then 10 minutes, the doc pulled my cord & finally the placenta, i said no what are you doing dont do that it hurts what if it tears, i was in a panic, he said dont worry you have pitocin to help close you up or something to that effect, is when i realized i had the pitocin going into me without my permission.
he said he would stitch me up (very small tear), after he was done he told my partner, she only needed 3 but i put in 4 and he looked proud, my partner said why did you put 4 if she only needed 3, he said its called the husbands knot, if you know what i mean.
it was frustrating because it hurt to have sex afterwards it was too small there, he made it smaller & it looks uneven, he did cosmetic surgery (i consider it such) without even telling me till it was over.
and so forth.
alot of stuff, it just happens so fast (oh the cord, that was clamped & whacked so fast my head was reeling).
plus i delivered on thanksgiving, my "midwife" yeah right she wasnt on call so a MALE OBSTETRICIAN delivered my baby. i felt so let down & violated, like i couldnt fight for myself. i was even doing like one woman telling my partner just SHH, hold my hand & then i would close my eyes b/c i couldnt stop it, they talk over me louder then me & just do stuff without asking.
this is why i will not go to the hospital again, it was very hard time for me & they did NOT do as i asked or made me do things i would not have done if i was not in labor.