Originally Posted by Manfa
If an adult was doing those kinds of things you would imagine they were suffering terrible bereavement. However, I genuinely don't think children doing those things are suffering that level of distress. They simply don't HAVE the philosophy to cling to, the ability to rationalise or control or express their emotions as effectively as adults.
What does this mean? Children still have emotions. They still have feelings. Attachment relationships are essential to children's emotional growth and development. This is an attachment parenting site, that belief is kind of core to the ideology here.
|No it WASN'T easy. No it wasn't nice. But life isn't! At what point do you learn that? IMO kids can be more reslilient and adaptable than many people give them credit for.
I don't believe that "Well life is not fair" is an appropriate rationalization for disrespectful parenting strategies that undermine attachment relationships.
I don't think "life isn't nice" is a factual statement. And I don't think it is parents' responsibility to teach that subjective lesson. In many ways, life is what you make it, kwim? And the things we cannot control are... well, things we cannot control.
I don't go banging my head into walls because life includes pain. And I do not harm my children in the name of "well life isn't nice anyway, children are resillient." There is enough for them to bounce back from that we cannot control. Let's not impose more trauma.