Please dont hate me! - Page 6

[monkey's mom]

Originally Posted by m9m9m9

Why is it so hard to understand that the family bed may need to be disolved in some situations? It just doesn't work for everyone.

It's not hard for me to understand at all.

I was reacting to your statement that all the families express dissatisfaction with co-sleeping or their nighttime parenting arrangement. And that's just not so. There have been several families who wanted to continue their sleeping arrangements and they were told horror stories about the mother having emotional issues, the child taking over the role of the father, the children never learning to go to sleep by themselves and that if they wanted the nanny's help they must submit to her entire program of change.

And even in the cases where the families were dissatisfied with the sleeping/bedtime scenarios, to implement a plan where almost EVERY single time a mother/child pair is sobbing and/or begging for it to stop? Sorry, that's not "disolving" the family bed, that's smashing it into a million pieces in one fell swoop.

I am 100% certain that there is a better, less traumatic, more attachment-building way to move a child out of the family bed.

But, again, these nannies are not focusing on these children's needs. As long as the behavior stops, then it's a "success." I think that's a pretty dangerous message to put out there. And I think it's weird that people are defending it here.

[oliversmum2000]

actually i watched a fantastic episode of supernanny recently. the son was on the autism spectrum and she got an expert in her managed to get the little boy talking for the first time. she berated the mother for ignoring the children and not playing with them and not being nice enough to them. all she did was get the parents to talk to their children more and play with them more and be nicer to them. no sticker charts or naughty step or time outs, just hey you - be nicer to you kids.

[mittendrin]

Originally Posted by Manfa

But why does everyone seem to hate supernanny on this board???? I know next to nothing about this woman except shes known for making the naughty spot famous!

Is there's a PM facility? If so I would appreciate being sent any responses privately because I get the impression this might be a HOT topic and I don't want to be thought to be stirring the pot. Thanks, and sorry if this is a forbidden topic!

I didn't like a few episodes where she discouraged the family bed and talked a mom into early weaning but overall I like her. I do time outs for my kids and will tell them when their behaviour is "naughty" or bad. I do it in german, hehe, might sound cruel to some of you. I like her!

[mommaof3]

Originally Posted by mittendrin

I do time outs for my kids and will tell them when their behaviour is "naughty" or bad. I do it in german, hehe, might sound cruel to some of you. I like her!

Have you all read Alfie Kohn's article about SuperNanny?

Very interesting.

http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/supernanny.htm

[devster4fun]

Originally Posted by mommaof3

Have you all read Alfie Kohn's article about SuperNanny?

Very interesting.

http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/supernanny.htm

Thank you for the link! It is very interesting.

I'm a big believer in Kohn's principals, although I have yet to see them play out in my family. (DD is 14 months) I have read two of his books and research seems sound. I am curious to see how it works with our DD.

I know I am against formal time outs for many reasons....