Now, About those consultatiebureaus...

[mrflowers]

Edited

[LilWin]

Visiting a cb is voluntary, and they can't *make* you do anything. Also vaxing is voluntary, and I think it will be a looong time before mister Rouvoet will be able to change any laws regarding that.
To be honest, we do the cb visits because we did decide to vax, but I've made pretty clear I don't want any advice unless I ask for it. All the things they just mention without me asking, it really goes past me, I ignore it.
At our cb they always know who we are just because I'm the only one who refuses to supplement vitamin K and D. None of the other parents refuse, I can't believe it! : Anyway, all the checks they do regarding weight and growth can of course be done by a family doc as well, but it's just that most docs don't *want* to. It takes up precious time they need for other things. And the whole system is set up to keep record of children through a CB. There are antroposofische cb's that are much more understanding of non-vaxing and are also more BF-oriented.
As I said, I don't think much of what I have seen and heard there, but I go for the vax and don't ever for advice there. My mom always says the advice they give there is much more for people who aren't into finding things out through books or the internet or who are very insecure about parenting in general. I think my mom's right!
BTW, our dd is also called Lily.

[PumpkinSeeds]

We've had no trouble with our consultatie bureau. They don't give us any parenting advice at all. They only ask me if I have any concerns about their development and whether they're eating and sleeping well. That's it.

When my son was nursing they didn't say anything either way about it, but they weren't terribly helpful when he went on a nursing strike. When they asked about vax, I just said that we are following the advice of our ped back in the states who supports our nonvax position.

They haven't even said anything with regard to homeschooling. I just said that millions of children in the US are homeschooled and this is what we have chosen for our kids. Occasionally they ask about peer contact but we have really active social lives so it's a moot point.

[rzberrymom]

If you're not going to vax, I don't really see a point in going to the CB. At ours, it was mainly about charting the baby for height, weight and head circumference and then the vaxes.

As far as the parenting questions, it completely depends on the staff at your CB. The doctor at ours was very intrusive, very critical and probing of our parenting (I think a warning signal went off when I carried DD there in a sling), and we really had to struggle to avoid the vaxes. Needless to say, we stopped going. They sent us a letter about every month for 2 years, and then they finally gave up on us and sent us our records.

The antroposofische cb's are another option, and we gave it a try. They were very understanding of non-vaxing, but they weren't happy with extended breastfeeding (they told me I was ruining my then 12 month old DD's psychological health when I had to nurse her during the appointment). And it costs a small fortune if your insurance won't cover it--we have OHRA which I'm told is one of the best, but they only covered half the costs.

I say, build a relationship with your huisarts and/or a homeopath, and get the parenting information from any basic parenting book rather than from a CB.

[sarahmck]

I've heard lots of stories of consultatiesbureaus giving bad advice. Mine advised me strongly to nightwean, and also told me that DD would never develop the necessary muscle tone for speech if she didn't eat bread at 6 months. Whatever. I feel that the consultatiebureau can really steer parents who don't look into things for themselves badly wrong.

That said, we don't vax and they give us no problem about that. They occasionally mention that we're due for one shot or another and I just remind them that we don't vax and they say okay. They are also reasonably supportive of DD's continued breastfeeding. I didn't mention it at her 24 month appointment, but at her 18 month one, they commented that it was great that she was still nursing. Of course, they also asked if she was getting enough dairy products, which to me shows their utter cluelessness about nutrition and breastfeeding, but I just said yes and that was that.

I like going to the CB because I like getting DD weighed and measured just for our records, and I also like to let them see a breastfed, unvaxed toddler and perhaps make a mental note that she's basically never been sick. I think if we all don't go, we lose the opportunity to do our part to show the system that our way works, too. (Or perhaps better, but that's another post!) As long as you give them the answers they want to hear for their less-informed questions -- "How's she sleeping? Great!" -- you avoid the heartburn with them, and you do get the advantage of them hopefully catching anything that might be wrong with your kid that you perhaps don't know to look for yourself.

Oh, and if you start at one CB and don't like it, be aware that you can switch. I would also call your intended CB first and ask them how they feel about not vaxing. If they give you trouble, switch to another BEFORE you are an established patient.

[mrflowers]

Thanks, everyone! I'm learning a lot. I think that I'll call the local cb when we have a house, and see what their stance is. It would be nice to know the kids' heights and weights. I don't really know that for either one of them right now, and I feel like such a bad mom! I just have a habit of not taking them to the Dr. unless they're sick, and since they rarely have anything that we can't treat at home, they don't get weighed or measured very often. If I look at the cb from that perspective, just as a way to keep informed on their growth patterns, it sounds like a good idea.

[SuzymomofLaura]

Mercy you crack me up: feeling like a bad mom because you're not aware of their exact measurements!! Sounds to me you are the best! Visiting the consultatiebureau is indeed voluntay, and don't you worry about that mr. Rouvoet, I'll bet your children will be healthy and happy grown ups before there ever will be people sent after parents that choose not to make use of their services! Every visit there with our DD gives me a splitting headache, mostly because of the useless and unwanted advice, but also because they dutifully write down the answers you give them, and then ask the same stupid questions again the next time you're there. Might be a good thing for parents that want their advice, or are very uncertain or maybe very young. I'm longing to skip the visits to the CB with our babe #2 altogether, but DH likes the measuring/weighing part and the chat with the kinderarts, so maybe he should go, and I'll keep my sanity
In addition, for those who want to vax, or partly vax, it is also possible to go to your huisarts for that, but then you'll have to pay for it, whereas the CB is free of charge.

[PippoMom]

Just wanted to chime in - we had registered a few months before we actually moved and had a ton of CB cards in the mail, even though we'd explained the situation - and because we weren't home when they dropped by, our son was put on some sort of danger list and it took a while to get him off it. so that was pretty annoying.
however the first home visit we finally did have was great; the woman was extremely friendly and open-minded, very positive about AP issues and also very sympathetic about our (pregnancy) loss three years ago - not at all the usual ok-let's-move-on-from-that! attitude we've encountered with eg our gp/huisarts...
I think what helped with our first visit to the cb was to pretty much go in there making it very clear we were well-informed, at least regards to our son particularly re: diet (still-bf ds no dairy or eggs). I think she saw we were pretty clued-up and I imagine did not offer any un-asked for advice because of that? She didn't ask questions about sleeping or anything like that, and seemed quite happy about the bfing.
Anna

: : : :

[lostintnl]

I'm not the hugest fan of CBs but that is mainly based off of my experiences. It started off on the wrong foot with our first home visit. The male nurse "cleaned" my DDs healing belly button without even asking permission. I was furious.

My next experience with him was days later when I believed that I had thrush based off of red nips and what I had learned through kellymom.com and BVN and I was told that I had a low milk supply.

I soon after asked to be transfered to another nurse in the practice.

We choose a delay in vaxing and refusal of the BMR and that was not well received. In the end it is not "their" child and my DH and I reminded them of that.
We also chose for late introduction with solids due to major food allergies in my family. You would have thought I was starving DD even though her growth curved never dropped.
This all took place in Tilburg.

When we moved to IJsselstein. I had DD weighed and measured and was politely reminded that she did not have her 4th dktp or her bmr and I told them we were on a delayed schedule for BMR and I don't plan on giving her a very unnecessary 4 dktp(which is stated in the vax bijsluiter). They refused to let her see the doctor if she was not getting vaxed:

They can't even comprehend that we are still nursing and can't say that I enjoy going there but I do like the fact that we have her growth documented.

Sorry for the rant.

OP:
CB visits are voluntary and they can not do anything to your child that you do not want them to do. My apologies for taking over your post.

[mrflowers]

No no, you didn't take over! I really like to hear everyone's different stories. I learn from them. I have a theory that it is very good in NL to start off on the foot you want to continue on (not that it's ever completely in my control, but hey...), and hearing from you guys who are currently in NL helps. 'Cause I'm not even there yet, and things may very well have changed since we last lived there.