Can't believe I'm actually considering this...

[StrawberryFields]

I didn't find out the sex with ds and it was wonderful. It was exciting, it was emotional, it was everything I hoped it would be. It was people laughing and chattering and exclaiming, "It's a boy!" It was making the phone calls where people were on edge waiting to hear whether they had a new grandson/granddaughter/niece/nephew/etc.

Because we tried Shettles for a girl and because I am hoping for a girl I am thinking about finding out this time. But here is the kicker : I don't necessarily want or want to pay for a routine ultrasound. We had one with ds and it was a whopping $650. Since I wasn't planning on having a diagnostic ultrasound (unless there is some indication that we need one) in this pregnancy, I would be paying the full $650 just to find out the sex. That is totally not happening. Soooo in the back of my mind a little naughty Amanda has been considering shelling out the $75 to go to one of those fetal-foto places and getting a simple 10 minute 2D gender check. There is one near us that will do a 10 minute 2D ultrasound, check the gender and print 2 pics for you.

I can't believe that I'm even considering this. Someone talk some sense into me, please! I'm not totally sold on ultrasounds being harmful so I am not *too* worried about that, I guess that it just that I know one isn't medically necessary and I feel like it's pretty darn ridiculous for me to consider going in just to check the gender. But I think I want to know.

[mom3b1?]

Originally Posted by StrawberryFields

I can't believe that I'm even considering this. Someone talk some sense into me, please! I'm not totally sold on ultrasounds being harmful so I am not *too* worried about that, I guess that it just that I know one isn't medically necessary and I feel like it's pretty darn ridiculous for me to consider going in just to check the gender. But I think I want to know.

Well, it's not the worst thing in the world to do, LOL. Maybe you could slow yourself down by cutting a deal with yourself. Make yourself wait a week, instead of doing it impulsively. If you still want to do it, then do it.

OK?

Kiley

[azyre]

I had several US's with my daughter and didn't find out at any of them, but not for lack of trying, the technicians either couldn't see or didn't check or didn't care to share even if they knew

This time I am planning a midway 20 week one and I am gonna ask again DESPITE enjoying finding out at the birth last time - but I wonder how much of that was her being of the preferred gender? I dunno, seems fair to have a go of knowing as I had one of not knowing, so I can do a proper comparison

I must admit I like getting suprises for other people's pregnancies, the anticipation is longer than when you find out half way through. And when really it comes down to what clothes and names I'll be choosing, it's not *that* big a logistical nightmare to not find out.

Ok, i've confused myself more now LOL I reckon I'll ask but if I cant find out it's no big deal

[MamaBBrown2003]

I know that if I were REALLY hoping for a specific gender, I would wait until the birth to find out. I know so many women who find out early that they aren't having what they wanted and lose several weeks of enjoying the pregnancy because of their disappointment and subsequent guilt over feeling disappointed. I think with all the postpartum bonding hormones swirling around, that kind of disappointment is less likely with a surprise. I'm always too caught up in "perfect baby bliss" to even care about the gender at the birth. Does that make any sense?

I really don't have much of a preference, though. All 3 of mine have been surprises, and I intend to do the same this time. My exception would be if I suspected multiples. If I were to find I was expecting twins, I'd want to find out what gender/s ASAP so that I could be as organized as possible beforehand. If there's any uncertainty or question about the # of babies, I'll be booking an US to get a head count and an equipment check. LOL!

[Greeneyes0506]

I'm the opposite, I found out with all 3 and am considering not finding out this time.

[ellymay]

Our insurance covers a 20wk u/s. I am oposite of you I have always found out w/ my other 3 children and I want to do things different this time. I am not sure how to talk you out of it though other than just think of how exciting it will be to wait till the very end pushing your baby out and you get to see for yourself what it is

[StrawberryFields]

So you guys don't think I am the worst MDC mom ever for going to a keepsake ultrasound place?

I wonder if my insurance was supposed to cover my 20 week ultrasound and they didn't and I got screwed. It seems like everyone else was covered. Hmm.

[LawrenceDoula]

I had both the routine ultrasound my first time around, and because we couldn't tell that time I had the 3D one later.

I really regretted it. My mom and mother in law both were there, and it just seemed so invasive in some way. Suddenly everyone could see my baby which up until then only I had that close relationship with. It was a weird feeling.

So this time around and I going to do my best to not find out. Wish me luck, I know the temptation is hard!!

(and I don't think you should feel bad or judged if you choose to, it is your choice)

[flapjack]

I would check with your insurance company- it sounds really weird that they won't pay for a 20wk ultrasound. I wouldn't go to one of the keepsake places though, if having a girl is that important to you you want to be pretty darned sure that your answer is accurate.

[Nature]

I've found out three times, and am really hoping not to find out this time. Course, I said that last time too and I caved.

[eilonwy]

I'll have a level 2 ultrasound between 16 and 22 weeks with this one because my BooBah had a prenatally-recognized kidney problem, so my other kiddles are at higher risk. I'll probably ask because I like to know things in advance... that is, if I can't see it right there on the screen. The technology is so good these days that with all three kids, I was able to recognize their bits as soon as they showed up on the screen. I was sure Bella was a boy until the technician put the transducer on my belly; I was watching the screen and I went, "Oh my gosh!" and started laughing. She asked if I wanted to know the sex and I was like, "It's a girl, I saw girl bits!!"

In any case, I don't think it's all that bad. I'd wait until you're pretty far along, though, because at 20 weeks they still have room to cross their legs and turn. I couldn't see BooBah's bits on the first or second ultrasounds (I had a whole bunch while they were trying to find her kidneys) around that time. If you wait until 25-26 weeks, you've probably got a better shot at finding out.

[StrawberryFields]

Originally Posted by flapjack

I would check with your insurance company- it sounds really weird that they won't pay for a 20wk ultrasound. I wouldn't go to one of the keepsake places though, if having a girl is that important to you you want to be pretty darned sure that your answer is accurate.

Man I wonder if I can go back and complain about the last one, in 2005. If it was covered that would be fine but it's not worth $650 to me to know the gender and have a few pictures so that is what is holding me back, kwim?

$75 I can swallow though.

[StrawberryFields]

OK I looked it up and I think the reason I have to pay so much is outpatient diagnostic ultrasound is billed at 20% and I have to meet my annual deductible first. We have a high deductible health insurance plan with an HRA through our employer. So since we rarely use our insurance it would likely cost us a pretty penny this time around as well.

[delightedbutterfly]

Not in your DDC but...

I had the opposite reaction of what another mom said. We didn't find out. I was 100% positive it was a boy. even after i birthed and they didn't tell me right away i was sure it was a boy. I had a hard time dealing with it when they told me it was a girl. I didn't really let on but i was very shocked. I didn't get my son.

This time i'm thinking of finding out I will be happy for another daughter but don't wanna say ohhh this is different and this is different it could be a boy. I don't want any letdowns. I want to be happy for either a girl or a boy. I would rather do it pregnant. Now my problem is that hubby wanted to know last time and i didn't and now for our next i think i wanna know and he doesn't:

[justmama]

I"m going to find out. I probably won't have insurance at that time(20 or so weeks) because we are going to have a gap in our coverage unfortunately but I will be going to a keepsake place. I found out ith both girls and I'm a huge planner. I don't like to be suprised. And because we have to move before this baby and get a new car, we are on a budget. We just need a few things but I need to be able to consignment shop throughout the pregnancy to be able to clothe this little one!!! So I'm going to find out. I don't think you are a bad MDC mama at all! I don't think I could wait to find out even if I didn't NEED to know.

[StrawberryFields]

Originally Posted by brymommy

Not in your DDC but...

I had the opposite reaction of what another mom said. We didn't find out. I was 100% positive it was a boy. even after i birthed and they didn't tell me right away i was sure it was a boy. I had a hard time dealing with it when they told me it was a girl. I didn't really let on but i was very shocked. I didn't get my son.

You know, after reading your post I really feel like this is it, this is what will happen to me if I don't find out and the reaction I will have if we have another boy. I think I need to find out this time. I haven't made a final decision but the responses on this thread were really helpful, I loved hearing everyone's thoughts and experiences!