may i just vent -- mother's helper (lack there of)

[Momma Aimee]

DS is 18 months old, I am 18 weeks pregant, it is summer...................

I have my hands FULL with the house, and him. I have a LOOOOONG list of things to do before baby gets here............ I can't touch any of it cuz i can't even keep on top of the house..............

i am still soooooooooooooooooooo tired

i have been loooking for a mother's helper since we were TTC.

I want somene , 13 or 17.... i don't care...... to come over and play iwth DS. AN older teen i could leave here 45 minutes to go to the bank and post office and get milk without dragging him along, or i could take them tot he park while i run errands. a 13 yo i could jsut take with us as extra hands......

I want someone DS will know, and have fun with, so i owuld hope after the baby comes they could still come one afternoon a week, or 2 or 3 at first, so DS can have some special time of his own iwht his playmate. ALso could allow me to get a little bit done so i don't cave under after my mom goes home when the new one is here.

I was looking for someone one or two afternoons after school and 1 to 2 full days all summer.

I am willing to work with their schdule, not just mine.


We live 45 minutes from Des Moins, roughtly.

The only home school groups i can find are based out of THERE. while i am sure there are HS moms closer, i can't find out how to find them.

No one is gonna drive from DM to be a mom's helper or babysitter here.

I contacted the 11 local churches -- in the 4 towns that creat our consoladted school distrcict..............i heard back from ONE. I asked to post a flyer, or have them suggest a name, or have them talk to parents or to yough group, of if they knew anyone. That one never found me anyone (going to e-mail them back)

I contacted the MS and HS -- and neither ever got back to me about if i was allowed to post a flyer or not.

I posted a flyer at the bank -- 1/2 of the pull tabs with my e-mail are gone, no messages ever arrive.

I have been working on this for MONTHS

I am at a loss of what else to do.

i know we live in a rural area ... but come ON....... I am a mile from the nearest house, not 100 miles.

aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh h

[sorteep]

do you ahve a local paper you could run a brief ad in?? good luck in your search..

[Momma Aimee]

hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[ABand3]

craigslist ?

[mittendrin]

Aimee, good luck w finding someone. Is there maybe a mom's group around and you could take turns w another mom watching her kids and she is watching yours another time in return?
Craigslist is a good idea, I personally had really bad luck w sitters from craigslist but it might just be the area I live in. Of course you could always spend $150 and go to an online babysitter service who can find someone in your area (or not) but imho that's a ripoff.
Gee, if you'd live close we could work something out.

[Mama Bear]

I am having the same issues. I was supposed to met a girl last week, but her boyfriend was in a bad accident and had some fractured bones so she cancelled b/c she was helping him. She was supposed to get back to me about this week, but I don't know if I will be hearing from her. And another girl we used to use during the school year is now travelling so much this summer, that I can't get her consistently either. It is very frustrating! I completely understand.

[Kontessa]

I go to a UU church so I know the people there so maybe it was easy for me because of that. I use the older teens that baby sit for the church already. They know and love my kids already and I trust them. The only issues I have is that they are not last minute sitters at all, they have lives LOL So I have friend I trade kids with, also from church.

What I am getting at mama is that I have been in your spot, had no community around me to help when I needed it. I lived like that for years and shunned churches. Only I found the UU, an all faiths church and I love it, I dove right in and I think it saved me, specially with hubby deployed. If your alone, try to get out some how ok!

Aside from my community rant, I also have seen wanted: ads in Freecycle, not sure if your area has that or not online. It is free and has helped me part with many items and I even got a good swing set from there once free. Keep trying poor mama. You deserve help and getting it should not be this hard!

[Googy]

Have you tried putting up a flyer on the bulletin board at your local library? I have a lot of friends who found good sitters that way! I've also seen a lot of teenage girls advertising their babysitting services there.

[Momma Aimee]

Is there maybe a mom's group around and you could take turns w another mom watching her kids and she is watching yours another time in return?

I had suggested this to a girl i know at church when she was pregant, she was all excited about it, now her baby is like 7 months old and she has only returned two calls to have luch, much less trade baby care. and frankly that last time we had luch, a bout a month ago, she seemed too overwelmed with her ONE...still not in a groove, and T's high energey just amazed her -- i do not think she could handle them both,,,, and she is 40 minute drive (not that i mind, i am used to 40 to 45 minute to do anything, but she seems to act like it is a loooong drive with the baby).

All the other moms i know either live in DM at least 40 minutes away -- agian not that i really care, but no one seems to want to come out here. and some work. beyond that thay all have babysitters, and friends and even family and don't need me.

the on-line baby sitter service i looked at let you view your area free (just not actually see ads or names iwthout paying) and there was no one in a 35 mile ratius of our house.

can we all say "Aimee feels isolaed" together class??

I tired al 11 churches within a 20 minute drive. we do not currently have a home church, we are looking -- another rant for another day -- but the few we have condiered are again 45 mintes away....i haven't really met any9one...but the people who do ask where we live seems freaked that we would drive 45 minutes, thus i am sure they would drive it to get here!!

I might try the libay -- though it is a one tiny room thing that is open only a few hours a week. but it dos have computers and the internet so maybe the teens do go there??? worth a try. thanks

Aimee

[Googy]

Sorry you're having such a hard time, Aimee. I feel for you especially because I'm an Aimee too! Small world, isn't it? I hope the library plan works out for you! Hang in there!

[canadiannancy]

I hope you find something! I am in similar posiions for different reasons, I have my 2 year old, 9 month old and am finding it hard to do everything I need sometimes, especially when I am soooo tired all teh time. I am sure we could find a babysitter, we just have no money at the moment and could not afford one. But even if the reasons are different, I still feel your pain...just wanting to grow an extra set of arms!

[GinaRae]

I think we have THREE Aimee's here in this DDC.

[Starr]

Try putting an ad in the local paper. Also hang up flyers at the library, grocery store, movie place... think where teens hang out. Do you know any other moms nearby who would be able to recommend someone? In a small town word of mouth is the best advertisement. Tell everyone you know that you are looking and hopefully someone will pop up.

[wwisdomskr]

Is there a teen center nearby? What about a youth services office for your town? A roller rink? A pool? Have you posted anything in "finding your tribe" for your area here at mdc?

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with this! How frustrating!

[Momma Aimee]

I have some good new s----- maybe

but first

Is there a teen center nearby? What about a youth services office for your town? A roller rink? A pool? Have you posted anything in "finding your tribe" for your area here at mdc?

no teen center

no roller rink

one pool, not opening this year due to money

I knwo teh few MDC moms locally that play together at playgroup -- all the kids are very young, none live closer than 40 minutes.,

BUT

we are in a new houseing area, community, whatever. only 7 lots, ours is 3 acres, allt eh rest are aound 10..........oney 3 other lots sold, one house is done and the lady lives there, and the other house that is 1/2 done..... well we talked to the guy last night for a long time. they are planning to be living it is before school starts in the fall. they have a son (his wife's son, his step son) who will be a JR in high school. the son looooved kids, has taken 2 child dev classes and babysitts now.

I am sooooooooo excited. It would happne till fall, even if he com,es out summer time he will work ont he hosue with his folks.....but he is in walking distace, maybe 900 feet from the bottom of our drive to the bottom of him (course add another 900 for the driveways ).......I told his Dad I would be sooooooooooo gadl to have him sit or play with Theo. I talked about one or two afternoon a week after school so o can have time with baby, and get stuff done, or SLEEP, and Dad seesm to think Son would really be excited about that, as well as babysitting !!!!

it is not gonna help this summer -- when i really need sleep.

but there is a small light at the end of the tunnel.

now to get DH over his freak about a boy baby-sitter......he didn't say anything last ngiht, but he has in the past.

Aimee

[Googy]

Great news!
If its any consolation, we had a male babysitter when we were little and he was AWESOME--our very favorite sitter. He was so much more fun than the girls--he built us forts out of old boxes in the basement, ran around with us outside in the yard, we had such a great time with him!

[fishface]

From the website www.sittercafe.com (which is how I got 1 occasional job and 1 regular job that evolved into a live-in nanny position!)

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