I am still disappointed that the OP is getting criticism and not validation and sympathy for her horrible birth experience. I wonder if she'd been in a hospital and an OB or nurse had done the same thing whether she'd be getting more support than she is here. :
I don't think that was truly the intentions of anyone.. but people were responding to both parts of her post. This mama needs major support- that's a fact. I doubt that is ANYONE'S ideal birth experience and my heart mourns for her loss. She has every right to grieve and go through a full range of emotions- but I think people were just trying to educate and make suggestions, even if they weren't done as gently as hoped.
Fwiw, I'm a hospital doula, and I've never seen a doctor NOT tug on a cord. Never. Not once. Not ever have I seen a doc leave the placenta alone to come out on its own. Le sigh.
Same here. It terrifies me to see it- especially on my clients! That's why I talk about the effects and ALWAYS have it as part of my deciding process and birth plan for choosing a midwife.
Like someone said.. there are bad apples in every profession- WE have to be the ones to educate ourselves FULLY and be stringent on our interviews with health care providers. FWIW, direct entry midwives are actually MORE experienced with homebirths than most CNM's. Their schooling generally involves birth center and homebirth rather than a more hospital environment. While it's a fact for low risk women to have a better chance with midwives in general- there are midwives who definetely should NOT be practicing.
to the op. I definetely understand the pain of such a hurtful birth experience. My first birth is still hard to talk about. However, maybe you can educate yourself as much as possible to help others educate themselves about the birth process and choose better providers. A good recommendation is:
Henci Goer's Thinking Woman's Guide TO a Better Birth.