Midwife almost killed me... - Page 5

[DucetteMama21842]

Originally Posted by Quirky

Wow.

I am still disappointed that the OP is getting criticism and not validation and sympathy for her horrible birth experience. I wonder if she'd been in a hospital and an OB or nurse had done the same thing whether she'd be getting more support than she is here. :

I don't think that was truly the intentions of anyone.. but people were responding to both parts of her post. This mama needs major support- that's a fact. I doubt that is ANYONE'S ideal birth experience and my heart mourns for her loss. She has every right to grieve and go through a full range of emotions- but I think people were just trying to educate and make suggestions, even if they weren't done as gently as hoped.

Originally Posted by YumaDoula

Fwiw, I'm a hospital doula, and I've never seen a doctor NOT tug on a cord. Never. Not once. Not ever have I seen a doc leave the placenta alone to come out on its own. Le sigh.

Same here. It terrifies me to see it- especially on my clients! That's why I talk about the effects and ALWAYS have it as part of my deciding process and birth plan for choosing a midwife.

Like someone said.. there are bad apples in every profession- WE have to be the ones to educate ourselves FULLY and be stringent on our interviews with health care providers. FWIW, direct entry midwives are actually MORE experienced with homebirths than most CNM's. Their schooling generally involves birth center and homebirth rather than a more hospital environment. While it's a fact for low risk women to have a better chance with midwives in general- there are midwives who definetely should NOT be practicing.


to the op. I definetely understand the pain of such a hurtful birth experience. My first birth is still hard to talk about. However, maybe you can educate yourself as much as possible to help others educate themselves about the birth process and choose better providers. A good recommendation is:

Henci Goer's Thinking Woman's Guide TO a Better Birth.

[Bestbirths]

Sorry to be dramatic sounding but its true...part of me posting this is to heal myself aswell as inform others out there planning hombirths.

The op said her intention is trying to heal herself and inform others planning on homebirths. This makes me think that she does want dialogue about hemmorrages, truth put, gently or not, it's hard to say gently that exausted stressed out or poorly nourished mom's hemmorage more. It's dangerous and could be deadly for the OP to give advise to NEVER let your attendant put their hand in your uterus. I think she wants to be educated and it helps us all to be educated about the third stage. It's something that I don't think is talked about enough. Its hard to look at your birth critically both at your attendant and yourself to see what could have been done better. But this kind of discussion is what makes birth safer in the longrun for everyone, as we all get educated on how to make birth better for babies and mothers. I think the OP's intention was she want's other women to be educated about how hemmorrages are supposed to be handled. In my opinion, that is healing. Sympathy, while nice and needed, and I sure feel it for the OP and anyone who hemmorrages, will only get you so far in the healing process. Validation, ok... Knowledge about what is supposed to happen and differing opinions about how the third stage is handled and how that effects your choice of birth attendant...that is what is going to get a mom to the point that she feels safe having another birth after a traumatic one.

[o4smommy]

thanks for all the support, but i quit coming to this post because of all the flaming...

Bestherbs: I was NOT hemmoraging..my placenta didnt come out and at 30 minutes exactly she inserted her hand and lifted the margin to release it...My MIL a labor room rn was at the birth, plus i have the placental pathology reort showing the trauma to the placenta were she inserted her finger

[mwherbs]

so I am wondering if you are replying to bestbirths or mwherbs-- I think that you said this -- some of my posts have been to other's experiences -- I understood that you weren't hemorrhaging before and in your case I would not have tried to manually remove your placenta- and incase I haven't said it before sorry that this happened to you-- as a side note- when I had my second baby-he was born in 1 hour half of that time was spent driving to the hospital - well that doc who was in hospital and caught him also did ROUTINE manual removal of the placenta- didn't even wait 5 minutes- plunged his hand in and scooped it out- and how I know he did it routinely is that he delivered most of the other babies born on the ward and the other gals and I talked about it. At the time I didn't even know to ask if a doctor or midwife would do such a thing-- I am thinking it is just terrible that you basically have to become a provider in order to know and anticipate what someone might do

[applejuice]

...There have been 3 or 4 cases notes in history where the placenta took up to 24 hours. But usually if no sign of bleeding, pushing urge ...

When I was pregnant with my first child, I learned about complications of the third stage of pregnancy and what the time constraints are for delivery of the placenta. I was born at home UC in the early 1950s, and I asked my Father how long it took for the placenta to be born after I was born as I as a preemie. My Father said it was over twenty-four hours and I was shocked. My mom was fine, no problems. He asked his associate to come over and help, and he took his time; he showed him a way to massage and manipulate the abdomen to deliver a stubborn placenta, which he used in the subsequent deliveries. My mom did not want to go to the hospital.

[Bestbirths]

Originally Posted by applejuice

When I was pregnant with my first child, I learned about complications of the third stage of pregnancy and what the time constraints are for delivery of the placenta. I was born at home UC in the early 1950s, and I asked my Father how long it took for the placenta to be born after I was born as I as a preemie. My Father said it was over twenty-four hours and I was shocked. My mom was fine, no problems. He asked his associate to come over and help, and he took his time; he showed him a way to massage and manipulate the abdomen to deliver a stubborn placenta, which he used in the subsequent deliveries. My mom did not want to go to the hospital.

That is amazing to hear stories like this. I wonder what exactly they did during the massage too.

I am sorry if you thought I was flaming, it wasn't my intention at all. If the OP wasn't hemmoraging, that was bad management. I was under the impression because of the Bristol trials that chances are higher that a CNM and Doctor is going to be more agressive with the placenta, and even some DEM's, and a more rare jewel of a midwife is the kind who will let the placenta deliver in it's own time when everything is fine.

[Nicole B]

Thanks so much for sharing your story
I'm so sorry your perfect birth turned so wrong at the end
Thank God you and your family are OK:

[o4smommy]

thanks Nicole! I appreciate it and eeveryone who has supported me....


and to the others...i am in no way downing MW's..im as crunchy as they come!

i think if were all educated enough..maybe as a society whole...we wont even need MW's...We'll deliver our own babies!

[AntoninBeGonin]

Originally Posted by o4smommy

i think if were all educated enough..maybe as a society whole...we wont even need MW's...We'll deliver our own babies!

Damn right!

I'm sorry you haven't yet had an ideal birth experience. Maybe your third delivery will be better!

[GradysMom]

I had bad midwife exp too...

here is my story

http://mylifeeditorials.blogspot.com...n-section.html

[Mackenzie]

Originally Posted by o4smommy

jrose, im so sorry that happened to your parents...i know what your father felt,,,my husband was overwhelmed, they thought they were gonna lose me...and have to raise my son and a new baby along with planning for a funeral. please do make sure no one ever messes with your placenta and let any pg friends know aswell.

having IV access would have helped get fluids into me fast, all MW's should carry an IV kit..i just assumed they did...assuming was my fault...

alegna,obviously a hep-lock is intrusive, but if you have no problem with it, why not rely on the safe side? its not like it hurts or has side effects...it was just an idea..and every birth is "normal" until something happens...and nothing seems "necessary" until we need it. hindsight is 20/20 i guess.

i still have a longing for that "beautiful birth", maybe the 3rd time will be the charm..either that or it will kill me!

I will refuse an IV or a heplock or anything like that iwth my next birth. They don't necessarily hurt but they are execeptionally distracting. My MW convinced me to have one with my last, saying that she was very good at it and I would nto even notice it.


I fixated on it my entire labor.

[mrskennedy]

OMG! I cannot believe she did that to you!!! And they can't admit your baby without your consent, no matter what they say. But they could have called CPS I suppose, and I've been there and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy! You did well, and all you could! But I don't believe that MW! She shouldn't be licensed, and you should have known she'd never attended a birth before. Never came up?! )
to you, mama!!!

[mrskennedy]

Originally Posted by o4smommy

thanks Nicole! I appreciate it and eeveryone who has supported me....


and to the others...i am in no way downing MW's..im as crunchy as they come!

i think if were all educated enough..maybe as a society whole...we wont even need MW's...We'll deliver our own babies!

UC'ers DO deliver their own babies! Although I don't know many who call it delivering--catching, or not calling it anythin but having the baby is more common, at least that's what I've seen. Anyway, I caught my own baby, and I agree that if we're educated enough and don't let society's expectations and fears affect us, we can take control of our own pregnancies and births. And we should.

[Bestbirths]

There is another option besides a hospital birth, CNM type midwife who uses the same interventions as a doctor, a medicalized or fearful homebirth midwife, or a UC, its called a CPM, certified professional midwife. You still have to interview them like anyone else, but they are typically not associated with a hospital or doctor practice and specialize in home births and are trained in the art of using herbs and homeopathics and the natural art of birthing. There are also DEM's, Direct Entry Midwives. You still have to interview them, but there your chances of uninterfered with birth are higher than with a CNM.

[Quirky]

Wow, Bestbirths, I hope you're not saying all CNMs are "medicalized or fearful homebirth midwives who use the same interventions as a doctor." That is a huge and incorrect overgeneralization. My CNM with my second dd was as hands-off as you can get and totally respected my decisions on what tests to have and how to do them. She didn't touch me ONCE during my labor and delivery -- my labor was totally, 100% uninterfered with.

For this pregnancy I'm seeing two CNMs who are very similar. I know a lot of women who have homebirthed with them and have had nothing but good things to say.

I hope I'm misunderstanding you because it's just simply not true that all CNMs are like you describe. Certainly some of them are IME and I had a crappy birth center birth with a CNM. But you can't tar them all with the same brush.

[True Blue]

FTR, I gave birth in Florida with a DEM as well. They can give IV's, they should have them with them. My MW could even give me IV antibiotics for GBS if I so chose, and I am almost certain she had some pitocin just in case as well. Her MW's should have had these supplies, and for SURE her doppler should have been in working order.

I'm so sorry this happened to you! And what is even more appalling, than the original actions on your placenta itself, are their actions afterward and minimizing the urgency of your condition.

[Synchro246]

Originally Posted by ericswifey27

If a midwife in Florida or elsewhere cannot carry the proper equipment to safely handle complications because of licensing laws, that is indeed very very troubling : That needs to change.

Originally Posted by True Blue

FTR, I gave birth in Florida with a DEM as well. They can give IV's, they should have them with them. My MW could even give me IV antibiotics for GBS if I so chose, and I am almost certain she had some pitocin just in case as well. Her MW's should have had these supplies, and for SURE her doppler should have been in working order.

I'm so sorry this happened to you! And what is even more appalling, than the original actions on your placenta itself, are their actions afterward and minimizing the urgency of your condition.

Yes, Midwives in FL can and should carry pitocin & iv's. There are, last I looked, 5 pharmaceuticals that FL midwives have easy access to.

[Rockies5]

um? Synchro? the original post is over a year old. why bring it back?

OP if you are still around, blessings to you and your future.