or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Welcome to Mothering! › Connect With Other Moms › Clergy spouses--check in here!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Clergy spouses--check in here! - Page 4

post #61 of 182
Thread Starter 
OK, I'm back!

Sarah, that sounds exciting but stressful. When will you have an idea what's happening?

Things here on going well. DH is the senior pastor now (I can't remember if I mentioned that before) and crazy busy. Even when there were two full-time pastors, they really needed another staff member--a visitation pastor, a Christian ed director, something--and now he's doing it all alone. And they haven't even started the call process yet!

Our big church news is that we're calling a congregational meeting to buy the house that's on the corner. If we get the house, we'll own the whole block. (My oldest says "Like Monopoly! And then we can tear down the church and build a hotel-- with a pool! ) DH is hoping to eventually build a gym.

I'm really ready for school to be done. I'm very tired. I don't know why I'm so tired all the time. I mean, I get that I'm busy and have 4 kids, but I just feel so exhausted, and like there's never a break. I actually have an appointment on Thursday for a physical.
post #62 of 182
Can I join you?

I never saw this tribe before it got bumped today.

I'm not a pastor's wife--I'm the pastor! I am a solo pastor in the United Church of Christ (UCC). Ordained for 7 years, in my second call.

The issues are a little different managing being minister and mama, but similar!

Like the nursery worker complaining last week. We pipe sound from the service into the nursery for the workers. It freaked out DS--he could hear my voice, but not see me. He kept pointing at the speaker and crying. Once they turned it off, he was great. Totally reasonable 15 m/o behavior. But eliciting complaints nonetheless. What should I do, not preach anymore?

So, do I fit in here too?
post #63 of 182
Thread Starter 
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It's VBS week!!!!!


Just needed to vent.
post #64 of 182
: I hear ya! We don't do VBS, but this weekend is our annual 3 day meeting, with people coming in from all over, tons of cooking to do and other preparations to make (I still don't know who all/how many are staying with us in our home!!), and cleaning, both at home and at the church!

Oh, and we are juuuuuust getting over pink eye!

pray for me, sisters!


Oh, and I never did update from my last post (#59):

It is still way up in the air, but it is starting to look very much like we might actually be moving!

Dh filled an appt as a visiting minister with the other church a couple weekends ago, and they have officially asked him to accept the call to pastor them.

He hasn't given them an answer yet, but if I know him at all, I'd say he is leaning in that direction. Wow....scary and exciting all at once!

He has a lot of praying and thinking to do, but since his secular job is with the school system, and since summer would be a perfect time to make a move, I'm mentally preparing myself for a whirl-wind summer! :

Trying to just imagine how much there is to do if we do end up moving, oh my gosh, it's mind-boggling!

We have been here, him pastoring this church, for nearly 10 years now! When we came, he was barely 22, we didn't have kids, and all our wordly belongings fit in the back of one 24-foot Uhaul, with room to spare! Now we have 4 kids.......need I say more? LOL!

Please keep us in your prayers; this is such a big decision. How do you know that it's time to leave a place? How do you know that your work is really done? I know that he's feeling a pull to this other place, but I also know it will be hard--for all of us--to leave this church.

And, once you've made the decision to leave, how do you do it? How do you tell your beloved friends and sisters in the church, how do you tell your kids, how do you make the break in a way that is gentle and kind to every side? I know that if God is in the matter, He will bless both sides (all three sides, really--us and each church involved), but it is still a daunting prospect, because I care SO deeply about all of these people!

And yet, I'm almost aquiver with excitement to see what the future has in store for us! :
post #65 of 182
Annette-Our VBS was last week too and it was so crazy! I could hardly keep up with being 37 wks along.

Sarah-My hubby (yth minister) is trying to make the same decision as your's is. It's hard to know when it's time and I'd love to hear what some of our veterans clergy spouses have to say about it.
post #66 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by franklinmarxmom View Post
The issues are a little different managing being minister and mama, but similar!

Like the nursery worker complaining last week. We pipe sound from the service into the nursery for the workers. It freaked out DS--he could hear my voice, but not see me. He kept pointing at the speaker and crying. Once they turned it off, he was great. Totally reasonable 15 m/o behavior. But eliciting complaints nonetheless. What should I do, not preach anymore?
Welcome! I'm a PK, not a PW!

Um, if the said nursery worker wants to hear you badly that enough that she complains about your child : then she shouldn't be working in the nursery, IMO. How can you hear anyway in a nursery w/multiple kids? I don't really pay attention in the cry room w/my one DD.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bjen614 View Post
Sarah-My hubby (yth minister) is trying to make the same decision as your's is. It's hard to know when it's time and I'd love to hear what some of our veterans clergy spouses have to say about it.
SheBear and BJen, I'm praying for you both, I know it's not easy deciding, even when it's a good situation all around.
post #67 of 182
Maggirayne, thanks for the prayers! I truly appreciate it! You made me laugh....I've never heard anyone else call it a cry room before! That's what we call it, too! I always think of it as the place to take my kids if they are crying during service.....or if I get frustrated to the point of tears, LOL!

Family-integrated worship is wonderful and amazing, but it is HARD WORK!! Especially when you have a 6 yo, 4yo, 2yo and 6 mo, and no spouse to help, because he's doing the preaching! :
post #68 of 182
Thread Starter 
because I found more of us!
post #69 of 182
Thread Starter 
So, how's everyone doing? Things are getting back into full swing here. DH had the never-ending council meeting last night and this Sunday is Rally Day.
post #70 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
So, how's everyone doing? Things are getting back into full swing here. DH had the never-ending council meeting last night and this Sunday is Rally Day.

This Sunday is our Rally Day, as well. And I have succumbed to the madness and agreed to be music director.
We as a synod are approaching a major restructuring. This means that on top of all of the normal meetings and insanity we have a whole other round.
post #71 of 182
Thread Starter 
Too funny! I'm taking on the children's choirs. I would have done it as a voluteer (shh, don't tell) but I'm getting $2,000 for it. How awesome is that?

Now, you're ELCA, right? Whereabouts, if you're comfortable telling? We're in PA.
post #72 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
Too funny! I'm taking on the children's choirs. I would have done it as a voluteer (shh, don't tell) but I'm getting $2,000 for it. How awesome is that?

Now, you're ELCA, right? Whereabouts, if you're comfortable telling? We're in PA.
No- we're the other Lutherans- LCMS. Are you ELCA? We're in northern MN- the far north.
That's awesome that they will be paying you for that- I think more church workers need some compensation!
post #73 of 182
Thread Starter 
I'm Catholic. But yeah, DH is ELCA. I worked for an LCMS preschool before I had kids. They have great early childhood programs.
post #74 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
I'm Catholic. But yeah, DH is ELCA. I worked for an LCMS preschool before I had kids. They have great early childhood programs.
So, how'd the Catholic marry an ELCA pastor? I'm very interested!
post #75 of 182
Thread Starter 
I didn't marry a pastor, I married a band director.

He didn't hear from God about being a pastor until we had been married four years.
post #76 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
I didn't marry a pastor, I married a band director.

He didn't hear from God about being a pastor until we had been married four years.
Oh, yeah, that'll do it!
It sounds like you are in a big church- how many calls have you been through?
post #77 of 182
Thread Starter 
This is our first. We've been here for six years. He started out as associate, but then the senior pastor was elected bishop and DH was voted in as senior. It's been crazy. It's a great church, even though I am not crazy about being so far from family.

What call is this for you?
post #78 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
This is our first. We've been here for six years. He started out as associate, but then the senior pastor was elected bishop and DH was voted in as senior. It's been crazy. It's a great church, even though I am not crazy about being so far from family.

What call is this for you?
Call number one as well. We're coming off a one year vicarage.
Where is family? We've ended up far, as well- my dad is a pastor in TX.
post #79 of 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by SheBear View Post
Family-integrated worship is wonderful and amazing, but it is HARD WORK!! Especially when you have a 6 yo, 4yo, 2yo and 6 mo, and no spouse to help, because he's doing the preaching! :
Yikes! I have to confess I am glad I'm not married to a pastor.
I am so glad my DH will take turns with me taking DD out.
Where in MN? I live just over in ND! And there's a new baby boutique in Fargo. Pout Baby Boutique is what it's called.
Totally OT!
post #80 of 182
I've found this thread fascinating thus far

I'm not a pastor's wife yet... but my husband is currently going through the diaconate formation program to become a deacon with the Catholic church

I'm an ELCA convert as of 2001... though in high school there were many around me that thought I might just become a Lutheran pastor... turns out there were different plans

As a deacon within the Catholic church, dh wouldn't have all the responsibilities that the priest has, but he would do a lot more of the 'foot work' that goes into serving the parishoners. There's a lot more I could expand upon, but I'm not sure I'd have the time to do so since just the youngest (2.5) is taking her nap, but her older sisters (4.5, 6.5) are fighting a bit

He doesn't have the 'job' right now (and even when he is ordained a deacon, it's just a 'side' position and he'll still work in the 'real world) but it's already a bit of a time committment. He has classes one weekend per month. The classes begin Friday evening and last through mid-afternoon on Sunday.... and the classes are 2.5 hours away. It's a bit of a financial burden as well since gas is atrocious, we only have one vehicle (so he takes it, obviously, which leaves us with no vehicle all weekend), he (ha.. we!) pays for his books and then of course there's the time commitment of studying/reading in preparation for his next class and then the essays/finals that he has to complete after classes!

For now, I am enjoying having him in the pews with us (except weekends that he's gone for class), but I am a bit nervous about when he'll be there to assist in the mass and I'll be alone! (I will clarify and say that 'alone' isn't really true... MIL will be there.... and plenty of aunts/uncles of dh's.. and he's got cousins there too ).

So, I'm not really a clergy spouse yet.. but, if all goes according to plan, I will be in about 3.5 years!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Connect With Other Moms
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Welcome to Mothering! › Connect With Other Moms › Clergy spouses--check in here!