i'm not a clergy wife, but my husband works for the catholic church. he works with 36 parishes in our state helping pastors form working pastoral councils of laypeople. he is also in graduate school for pastoral ministry through a diocesan program. i get frustrated because i constantly feel that the people he works with forget that he has a family. the priests don't have much concept of his at-home responsibilities, and of the 15 or so people in his department, he's the only one with kids younger than high school age. we also struggle financially--we're not destitute, but the lay positions do not pay well, and unless you're a deacon, there are no opportunities for housing assistance or anything similar, and many of the folks who he works with have spouses who work as well, so their social activity abilities are much more plentiful (we just can't afford for him to go out to dinner all the time). thankfully, i married him knowing that he'd do this kind of work, and we both knew what his pay scale would be, but it is challenging for me--that we need to support him as a family, and be alright with rarely having weekends with him and not seeing him many evenings, but that we struggle financially so much AND that dd and i are never welcome at events. there are times when i wish he was a pastor of another denomination or deacon, just so we could be involved in his life. it is challenging. it is also tough for him because his coworkers are scattered throughout the state, so he doesn't have many colleagues, much less young people. most are almost-retirement-aged women. nice ladies, some burnt out, but none at the point that we are.
post #81 of 182
9/4/08 at 6:07pm