Well, Sis replied. I asked her 4 questions, she answered them (and you could hear the foot-dragging tone, even through the email). She read most of what I sent her, including my personal letter, and did not view anything I put on the CD for her. She and her husband both "feel like" its the right thing because it's what they've both always known all their lives (and *ahem* they were both virgins upon marrying), and she claims they feel the exact same way on the topic. They have not talked to a doctor and don't know who would be performing it.
Then after answering my questions, she goes on to ask if the questioning was necessary. Because you know, it seems to her that I'm telling her that she and her husband are in the wrong, even though she's sure I didn't mean it that way. (I didn't say anything, just asked 4 questions.) And could I please back off? She knows I probably mean well, but she's feeling pressured by me, and she doesn't like that because it's her and her husband's decision to make, not mine. And she doesn't mean to be rude.
I sent back a heck of a long email. I was not mean or angry - I simply laid things out clearly for her. I told her outright that it has absolutely nothing to do with her or her husband, it is all about the baby, whose decision it should be, whose future it is, etc. You all know the drill. I reiterated that she needed to watch a video, and listen
to it. I linked to the subtitled YouTube video. I asked if she was willing to do that to her son just because it's what she's familiar with.
I again shared my own experience, my wish for my husband to be intact. How her son and her daughter in law might wish things to be different. How she only has to look at it for 5 dang years. I reiterated complications, I shared Calen's story. I shared what was posted here about pain medications and looking for complications if she insists on going through with it. I challenged her to discover functions and purposes of the foreskin, and continue to think about the future of her son and whether her being comfortable is worth any of the risks involved.
I told her it was okay if she never wanted to talk to me again, or if she wanted to be mad, but I could not stand by and say nothing, or "back off" just because she thinks it's not wrong. I just can't let her go into it ignorant. And I told her I was willing to risk our relationship to make sure she knew, that's how much I care. And in no uncertain terms, I made it clear that there is no gray area - infant circumcision is
wrong. Girl or boy. It's his penis, her and her husband's preferences should not be engraved on him.
We'll see if she talks to me after this, even without me being mean or hateful at all. And you know, at this point, I don't much care. I know I've said everything I can. If she still goes through with it, I won't really want to talk to her for a long long time anyway. And I won't feel guilty at all about her son. I'll still cry for him, if they do it, but it won't control my life. My hands will be clean and my conscience clear.
Let's hope some good WA state doctors back me up, or that anything I said actually gets through to her. I know I have you all here, but sometimes IRL, I feel like such a lonely voice in this world.