The most premature baby to survive... - Page 3

[2bluefish]

I have a nephew born at 24 weeks. He definately has a different look. His head is shaped differently. (He's 3.5 now.) His brother was born at 30 weeks, and looks normal. I think it is a little fun to have them to compare to - if baby was born right now, it would be the size my nephew was. But that thought quickly turns to sadness, knowing what that experience was like as an *aunt*. I would never ever want to experience that as a mom. I've never had a loss though, and I have two beautiful children already.

[DoomaYula]

Originally Posted by candyapplez

so I showed Dh the picture of the baby... and his response

"and really expensive":

Honestly, that WOULD be really expensive... my boys were in the NICU for 7 days and between the birth and the NICU stay, the bill was $40,000 EACH. Luckily (or whatever) at the time I had Medicaid so I never had to pay.

Thank you, taxpayers! :

[jessitron]

Chalk me up as one who is more afraid of a long NICU stay than of a loss. But I have a friend with a baby born at 24w and change (from LMP) who is 2 yrs old now and fantastic. She's at or above age level for her age from birth, not even her adjusted age! she still doesn't have hair; other than that she looks like her sister.

and yet, if our baby did come this early, we'd do what we could do. I was more afraid of a D&C than a miscarriage, and then i had a missed miscarriage and had to do the D&C, ugh. But did it, and without fear.

[Inspired007]

Originally Posted by jessitron

Chalk me up as one who is more afraid of a long NICU stay than of a loss. But I have a friend with a baby born at 24w and change (from LMP) who is 2 yrs old now and fantastic. She's at or above age level for her age from birth, not even her adjusted age! she still doesn't have hair; other than that she looks like her sister.

and yet, if our baby did come this early, we'd do what we could do. I was more afraid of a D&C than a miscarriage, and then i had a missed miscarriage and had to do the D&C, ugh. But did it, and without fear.

Hey Jessitron,

Help me understand why you'd be more afraid of a long NICU stay than a loss. I just don't get that. What is it about a NICU stay that would have you more fearful than losing your baby? I don't have any children yet but anytime I think about losing my baby I am overcome with emotions. I would gladly welcome a NICU stay (even a looooooooong one) if it meant that my baby would eventually be in my arms one day.

[jessitron]

Oh, it is not rational.
A loss at this point would be a lot like a miscarriage, and I handled that okay. It happens, it's over, it must be for a reason, move on. A NICU stay would be a long drawn-out painful period with lots of stress and heartache and suspense. That sounds harder. Not necessarily worse, but harder.
Not that I spend time worrying about either of them.

[Inspired007]

Originally Posted by jessitron

Oh, it is not rational.
A loss at this point would be a lot like a miscarriage, and I handled that okay. It happens, it's over, it must be for a reason, move on. A NICU stay would be a long drawn-out painful period with lots of stress and heartache and suspense. That sounds harder. Not necessarily worse, but harder.
Not that I spend time worrying about either of them.

I guess I could understand that. I've never had a miscarriage before and I can only imagine how it would feel to have your heart set on a baby and to find out that the pregnancy didn't progress. For me, even though I've never had one, I feel like this stage in my pregnancy I would feel different b/c I've felt her kick and I know it's a girl so I've been calling her by name. For me, this makes me feel as though a lossnow is more like the death of my child rather than 'miscarriage'.

I was telling my Dh last night how the kicking and calling her by name has made me feel more connected to her than early on. In the early stages of pg I felt as though it were the promise of a baby yet to come. Now, I feel as though I am truly carrying my child vs. that earlier more loose feeling, YKWIM?

[veganone]

This is so highly personal that I don't think anyone necessarily has to understand why anyone else feels how they do about it... I personally am thrilled to be at 25 weeks now and to know that she's technically "viable". But, I am also scared to death of having a baby this early. I was with my cousin when she gave birth at 22 weeks - he was born alive and just never took a breath. It was horribly sad, but also peaceful. In California, you have very little say in the medical treatments that they give preemies - basically, they do everything possible to keep the baby alive whether or not you want them to. THAT scares me.

When they were still trying to stop her labor, they talked about trying to get her to 24 weeks and then gave us all of the stats on his chances at that point. They were very, very depressing. I'm personally a quality of life focused person and stuff like pain management and long-term outlook are very, very important to me. And I hate it that those decisions would be for the most part of out of my hands if she came early.

I just pray and hope and tell her that she needs to stay put until she's ready for this world! And I was very happy to get past the 22 week mark...

[DoomaYula]

I can understand about the long NICU stay. A friend of mine had twin girls at 26w. They were in the NICU for 6 months -- not just for prematurity, I believe one of the girls actually had some organs outside of her body. After 6 months, one baby came home, and the other passed away. She had never been outside the hospital. So tragic. I know the parents were happy for every day they had with her, but it was just terribly sad.

[marlygf]

Originally Posted by veganone

This is so highly personal that I don't think anyone necessarily has to understand why anyone else feels how they do about it... I personally am thrilled to be at 25 weeks now and to know that she's technically "viable". But, I am also scared to death of having a baby this early. I was with my cousin when she gave birth at 22 weeks - he was born alive and just never took a breath. It was horribly sad, but also peaceful. In California, you have very little say in the medical treatments that they give preemies - basically, they do everything possible to keep the baby alive whether or not you want them to. THAT scares me.

I just pray and hope and tell her that she needs to stay put until she's ready for this world! And I was very happy to get past the 22 week mark...

This is how I feel, especially the part that I don't have any choice in the matter. i didn't really know how to explain it so I just didn't.

[Inspired007]

Originally Posted by veganone

This is so highly personal that I don't think anyone necessarily has to understand why anyone else feels how they do about it...

It's not necessary...I just want to.

[blueridgewoman]

knower, thank you. That was very sweet. And of course, being pregnant, I cried.

[knowerofnada]

Originally Posted by blueridgewoman

knower, thank you. That was very sweet. And of course, being pregnant, I cried.

Awww....look, it's all good now, it's going to happen....you're going to have a BABY!! I am so excited for you.