Does anyone homeschool a single child?

[DesertFlower]

Everyone I know that homeschools has at least 2 kids, so I'm wondering how would you go about homeschooling a single child.

[alima]

I've always been a single mother of an only child, so I don't know any different way of doing things. We live in a fairly large city, so social opportunities haven't been too hard for us.

Other than the social thing, I think it's much easier to hs an only child than 2 or more. I don't have to try to occupy younger children while ds is doing something, I don't have to try to entertain a bored child when going to toddler storytime, I don't have to try to find materials and activities that would appeal to everyone, or to the largest age group possible.

Ds and I get along very well, it always just been the two of us, so I think that really affects our dynamic, he's pretty easy going and doesn't fight or argue with me, so that has made hsing very easy for the both of us. We can focus on things that interest us both, and ds can delve deeply into his interests with me as a constant resource/audience, without having to wait for my time, or share my attention with siblings.

When ds was younger, it sometimes got a bit exhausting being his built in play-mate all the time, since he didn't have a sibling or school friends to play with, it was "Mom, play lego (cars, space ship, pirate, etc.) with me", all the time. Now that ds is in his teens (14 next week!), he has friends in the neighborhood (what school you go to and what grade you're in doesn't seem to matter much to kids past the age of 12 or so), he does his own thing a lot of the time. He doesn't need me with him every second of the day, but he does still like me to hang out with him, play video games with him, talk about movies and music.

All in all, I can't say that there are many downsides to hsing an only child. I've never really understood why it's seen as so difficult, unless you live in a really isolated area and your child is very extroverted.

[DesertFlower]

Originally Posted by alima

All in all, I can't say that there are many downsides to hsing an only child. I've never really understood why it's seen as so difficult, unless you live in a really isolated area and your child is very extroverted.

We live in a town of less that 1000 people (and that's including the surrounding ranches) and Kai is very social and extraverted!

[momto l&a]

I was any only and hs'ed. Its seemed easy for my mom to do. It seems to me it would be easier but

[mom2ponygirl]

I homeschool an only, and I think it is easier as well. You don't have to hope that an activity or field trip is interesting or age appropriate to more than one kid, you can afford more extracurriculars like dance, music, or sports than if you had more kids, you don't have to fight for one on one time for teaching, etc. Our dd has found plenty of friends through our homeschool group, the neighborhood, and other activities. Try looking at local 4-h or girl scouts or sports if you need to find some potential playmates and there isn't a sufficient homeschool population nearby.

[zansmama]

We're planning to homeschool our 4-year-old, and there are a few reasons I'm concerned...
First, i don't want to focus on him all the time. I want him to learn that my focus may be elsewhere at times, and that's okay. But it's hard when we're the only two in the house.
Also, the play with me thing. I feel like it's more natural for kids to play with each other (i.e. siblings) than with a grown-up.
Plus, with homeschooling, if it's one on one all the time, I feel like that could be too much pressure on the kid. More than one kid could diffuse that.

Our remedy, so far, has been to have lots of kids around and over to the house. Hopefully we can keep that going as ds gets older, with other homeschooled kids.

[UUMom]

There are many single child hsing families in our group! It seems the best of everything. You get to give all this one -on -one to a single child, and you don't have to spread whatever limited or not income you have around. How lucky are they?

[Kleine Hexe]

The co-op I belong to has an even amount of only children families and families with 2 or more. I think HS one child would be easier in many aspects. It's hard to balance the different needs for siblings.

[Guava~Lush]

Ds is an only and I can understand the whole, "it's only us all the time" thing. But that said, if he can tolerate any workbooks, he does that on his own. If he is occupied by something he is really into, he does that on his own. He goes outside and plays and explores on his own.

He was enrolled in Tumbling class so that left me an hour to myself to sip a mocha and get in some reading.
This coming year I hope to enroll him in 1 or 2 more classes.

I would rather he be around me all day than in a classroom at school.
And sometimes I dont like to play with him and sometimes I do. Kids want to spend time with their parents and play with them and I dont see it as unnatural. And even though I'm with him all day, he still misses me when I go to work (the 2 days a week I go).

Honestly I dont know how 'hard' or how much 'easier' hsing an only is. I don't think it is easy at all, but we are having fun for now and it is still work and I still worry about things. Having any more kids wouldnt change my mind about hsing or unschooling, it just isnt a choice for us.

[4evermom]

I don't think sending an only to school solves any of the so called problems of an only child. I tried sending mine to school because I thought he was bored. I thought he'd like being around other kids. He did like the other kids but not enough to compensate for the rest of the school environment (standing in line, sitting quietly, fulfilling drawing assignments, etc). He's much happier HSing.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by zansmama

We're planning to homeschool our 4-year-old, and there are a few reasons I'm concerned...
First, i don't want to focus on him all the time. I want him to learn that my focus may be elsewhere at times, and that's okay. But it's hard when we're the only two in the house.
Also, the play with me thing. I feel like it's more natural for kids to play with each other (i.e. siblings) than with a grown-up.
Plus, with homeschooling, if it's one on one all the time, I feel like that could be too much pressure on the kid. More than one kid could diffuse that.

It gets easier as they get a little older. My ds was never one to occupy himself but he does do it more that he did when he was 4.

Since he unschools, there is very little pressure on him. Pretty much it is the same as when he asks me to play with him. He expresses an interest in something and is thrilled if I can find related things for him to experience. It would be hard if I tried to do something structured with him, though. We could easily fall into power struggles. That factored into my decision to view myself as a facilitator rather than a teacher.

[Needle in the Hay]

We homeschool an only child and it's been going great. He does not play with kids everyday and he's just fine! We do go to playgrounds, indoor and outdoor. He usually succeeds in finding a friend to run around with, or some kids to play tag or hide-n-seek with. We are an active family and tend to be on the go a fair amount. Some days it's just DS and me (and DH in the evening), and that's great too.

We do hope to add another child to our family when DS is a bit older. He's a handful-and-a-half by nature so it's good that I've been able to keep my main focus on him. Kids can learn that you don't just drop everything anytime they "need" something whether you have other children or not (though they do tend to get more attention from their parents--one of the perks of being an only). We also unschool so we are not dealing with the pressure and power struggles and he is learning so much.

There are more only-child homeschooling families out there than you think and hopefully you'll end up meeting some. If not, at least you know some homeschoolers IRL--so far, I haven't met any where I live.

[Mamma Mia]

I am beginning to consciously unschool my dd, 4.5 y/o. Before we were unschooling, but not sure what to do in the future. Does that make sense? Now this is the plan. I do think that there are benefits of un/homeschooling more than one child. Older children learn by teaching the younger ones, and littles learn so well from older kids. I don't have that relationship available at home, so I'm trying to get my dd out there making more friends of different ages so she can have those experiences too. But I don't see it as problematic. There are benefits to both. I get to focus on what she's into and I don't have to focus on two or more kids' interests.

[onlyzombiecat]

My dd is an only. At 7 years, my dd is beyond needing me to play with her or give her attention all the time.
We use Sonlight curriculum as the basis of our program. We are pretty relaxed about it.

Homeschooling An Only Child

Homeschooling Only One

If you are concerned about the social aspects there are ways to manage. Visit nursing homes with your dc. Sign dc up for sports,dance, music lessons, scouts, 4-H, church youth group, Big Brother Big Sisters, or whatever. Find or start a homeschool support group and be willing to go farther. Do childcare.

[Ruthla]

For the past several months, I homeschooled one child while sending 2 more to school.

I think it would be easier to HS just one child- you can focus on the child's needs directly and not have to juggle the needs of 2 or more children. Socially, it's also easier- you can go to the HS events that child wants to go to, do whatever activities interst both of you without having to drag one child to something the other doesn't want to go to or have to miss some fun stuff because of another child's needs.

[2 in August]

Until my ds was born last summer I was homeschooling an only child. It was a blast. We could go where ever we wanted, whenever we wanted. Yes everything focussed on her, but she still played a lot on her own too. Now that she's five (almost 6) she'll spend an hour in her room playing Polly Pockets or sweet streets (little dolls and houses). She really is pretty independent and while she likes to do things with me, it's not all day every day like when she was little. I think it was lots of fun to homeschool an only child.

[Copper]

I had some reservations when I started to homeschool dd as well. That was last year for K. I hooked up with a local h.s. group and luckily met some nice people. I was even thrilled to find 2 other people homeschooling "only one"!
For some reason to others it did not, to me, seem "acceptable" to h.s. one - that said, we had a blast last year. We can pick up and go, put work aside to finish another day when it is just too darn nice....or someone calls for a last minute get together...
We also had gymnastics once a week, she did 4-H and girl scouts (daisy at the time). We went to all the gym classes offered once a week and the bowling once a month.

Sometimes her schedule wore me out but we got to know others that way and it has worked out well.

[jrcronewillis]

I'm interested to read this thread. I'm beginning to HS our 4yo only son. We are certainly the minority in our area--most of our HS friends have more than one child. It seems to be working great for us, but I'm interested to hear other's ideas and issues.

Thanks!
Juliette

[zansmama]

Originally Posted by Mamma Mia

I do think that there are benefits of un/homeschooling more than one child. Older children learn by teaching the younger ones, and littles learn so well from older kids. I don't have that relationship available at home, so I'm trying to get my dd out there making more friends of different ages so she can have those experiences too.

Yes! this is my main issue. I feel like it's natural for kids to learn from one another: even a need.

[LilyGrace]

Originally Posted by zansmama

We're planning to homeschool our 4-year-old, and there are a few reasons I'm concerned...
First, i don't want to focus on him all the time. I want him to learn that my focus may be elsewhere at times, and that's okay. But it's hard when we're the only two in the house.
Also, the play with me thing. I feel like it's more natural for kids to play with each other (i.e. siblings) than with a grown-up.
Plus, with homeschooling, if it's one on one all the time, I feel like that could be too much pressure on the kid. More than one kid could diffuse that.

Our remedy, so far, has been to have lots of kids around and over to the house. Hopefully we can keep that going as ds gets older, with other homeschooled kids.

I have two children, one in private school and one homeschooled. We have a very strong Montessori influence in our schoolwork. Materials are presented and left out, and he is welcome to them at any time of the day. Part of our day is spent with direct instruction, but that takes up only an hour or so. The greater part of his learning is done when I set down rules - he can use anything in the cubbies but the bins (toys) stay off limits until noon. It works out well. I watch to see what he gravitates to and switch out "boring" activities or show him new ways to use the material he's avoiding.

Homeschool groups, neighborhood friends, and sports teams are all a part of my son's life. He's very extroverted, so having the time every day to play with other kids is important, and having the same kids every time is important to me. I want him to form lasting relationships, but also realize that an education is something sought on your own for most of it. A time to work and a time to play.