I need a reality check, please...

[wwisdomskr]

Please tell me things will eventually get easier...or that I'll figure out a way to deal in better ways...

Dd2 has been cutting her "eye teeth" and not sleeping at all. No naps. All she wants to do is nurse. Especially at night. I would be fine if she would just stay on one side...but, she wants to switch sides every 30 seconds. : I know it's temporary...but, it's just magnifying my irrational state.

I need to hear from other moms of 3+, who homeschool or unschool, and who don't have any family nearby and who don't have a partner coming home every night to assist. We still have another year of dh being out of state 4 days a week. I know I should be grateful that he does come home! Right in this moment, though, I just can't get my head around how this is going to work.

Maybe I'm just being negative... I'm feeling so overwhelmed and tired and scared.

I'm so tired of having to pay for the help that I need...with money that we don't really have. I'm feeling so stressed out about money. Ugh.

I just need a reality check, I guess. And some hugs.

I feel so selfish and guilty. I have friends who would give anything to be pregnant. Here I am thinking "How did I let this happen?", "How am I going to survive this pregnancy?", and "How am I possibly going to be a good mother to 3 kids when I'm by myself 4 days a week?"

[beansavi]

Originally Posted by wwisdomskr

Please tell me things will eventually get easier...

Okay:
"Things will eventually get easier."



No. Seriously. It will.

We all have times like you are having. You'll adjust, things will shift, babies will grow... before you know it and when you aren't looking.

Hugs,
Bean

[Kontessa]

((((HUGS))))

This will be my third as well. And we homeschool too. Hubby is in Iraq and will be for months after baby is born too. Money is tight but has been far worse, and I do pay for my help as no family around and just one solid friend. Somedays, some moments, it just seems like too much. Those times pass though.... it gets better. It has to. Not a planned baby, but baby will be loved, it has to.... As mothers we know it works this way! We just have to trust. And sometimes break down too

So on to the guilty for me subject, how is homeschooling going for you? DD has been only getting about 3 days a week and really we need lots more to catch up as I missed over a month when first got pregnant. I have been lazy about it honestly. Letting things get in the way. Must go better if I want to help her get to reading like she wants to by next school year. (She sings with kids choir at church and wants to learn to read the words like the other kids)

So we are using SWR now. Not easy on me! LOL

[GinaRae]

I am having my 4th and I had a hubby that was traveling all last year, but because of the ages of my kids, I don't feel that I had the same situation. All I can do is offer my support and love and help you through in whatever way I can. HUGS, mama, you will make it through!

[scheelimama]

I'm not homeschooling, but this will also be my third and they are all still pretty little. DD1 will be going to preschool 5 mornings a week (I'd homeschool her if she wanted that, but she's adamant about GOING to school). So, my situation is a bit different, but similar still. And of course, dh is away in Iraq and won't be home until, at the earliest, the end of next summer.

I have no doubt that we will all adjust and make it through this, even if we have very high needs, tough babies. At the very least, you will adjust to your way of life, even if it is harder than you would like it to be. We all do. We have to. I've felt the same way about this baby at times as you are feeling. It's tough, and I don't feel like I have much of a bond with this baby at all. But I know it will all be okay in the end. I noticed you were posting later at night. I have a tendency to feel like my world is falling apart between the hours of 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. (before I get the kids to bed). I am tired and feel like a horrible mom sometimes. But in the morning, things are usually, magically better.

[De-lovely]

I just wanted to offer hugs to you mama-my DC are still to young to homeschool (but we will) but they are 3 under 3 with the fourth on its way so that counts for something right? DH works a horrible shift so her is gone from 9:30 to 7:30 which cuts out any help really.

Be gentle with yourself about the guilt and all that mama-you are wonderful!

[mommybytheWord]

We are having our 4th baby. I UNDERSTAND the teething and nursing thing!!!: Our DS just cut thoes eye teeth and they are the worst! He nursed All the time! I was so sore and sooooo tired. But the day they popped through he was 100% better. Ahhhhhh.... Now he is only waking once a night to nurse and only nursing about 3 times a day. So it DOES get better. It always does. But I know at the time it seems that it never will! My DH works a ton and never gets up at night to help. (Mostly cuz there is not much he can do) We also homeschool and now our $$ is the worst it has ever been! I hope it evens out before the baby arrives. If not we'll make it. We always do.



Good luck! I feel your pain!

[wwisdomskr]

This ddc is straight from the heavens!

Optimism hasn't been my strong point for the past few months and sleep deprivation just sends me over the edge. I have to work harder on just staying in the moment.

And, I need to sit down and really finish our budget...so I can deal with the facts and not just my fears.

There's so much I want/need to do...but, this week, I have to maintain my holding pattern and stick to what works so I don't fall back into the hyperemetic cycle. I'm officiating 2 weddings this weekend...and the requisite rehearsals, so there will be a lot more activity and energy output than this pregnancy has allowed me so far. As long as I take it easy, it will end up being a lot of fun...provided I can still fit into my robes!

[wwisdomskr]

Originally Posted by Kontessa

So on to the guilty for me subject, how is homeschooling going for you?

Kimmy,
We officially became "unschoolers" when I was pregnant with dd2 and suffering from hyperemesis. Before that, we had been homeschooling. Though circumstances "forced our hand" so to speak, it turned out to be the best thing for our family. Dd1 has just flourished.

Every time I would be agonizing and crying about how I was failing her and how she wasn't get the lesson time she needed, dd1 would walk into my bedroom and ask "so, 3 groups of 3 is 9, right? Okay, thanks." or "I'm writing a book. How do you spell alligator? Thanks. I gotta go finish it." She was 4! She was happier, having a lot more fun and doing much more advanced work on her own. I started doing research on unschooling and found that it suited all of us and really made sense.

So, that helps tremendously with this pregnancy as well! We're also co-founders and trustees of a democratic school that dd1 attends part-time. We love the model...but, it complicates *my* life more than anything else and makes me so grateful that she doesn't attend ps or a traditional private school!

Honestly, my biggest concern this pregnancy (learning-wise) is my relationship with dd1. We're having a hard time and I've turned into a yeller.: I think that getting through this time, with a healthy relationship intact, will have a bigger effect on both of our lives than any projects/lessons that dd1 may be involved in. We had a successful no-yelling day yesterday...but, dh was still home. This will be my first one (in a long time) by myself.